Saturday, July 31, 2010

Snehal Chaudhari - Ball and Tail - Critique

video

Hey,

nice work! Love the perspective view, the composition is nice!

Thanks for the sideview, that's good to have to analyze the clip.

It's overall pretty good, just a few little sections that need tweaking. From x13 to 14 the ball jumps up pretty high and the tail shoots down. That's a big change over one frame. I'd give it one more frame where the ball is stretched out reaching forward but not off the ground.
Another quick change is from x27 to 28. It'd be good to see a reversal in the tail, where it is how it is on x27, but then as it goes down you reverse the curvature and when it drags behind again during the jump it's back to how it is on x28. Same on x36, that tail end should point up.
Watch the spacing for your forward movement (in z?). Around x19 it almost comes to a halt and then lunges forward. Keep it smoother.
Watch that the ball doesn't start to squash before it hits the ground like on x26.
The lunge forward from x35 to 49 is a bit too far. It might just be a matter of retiming though, where you'd have a tiny bit more hang time and a tiny bit of a sharper drop. Right now after a few frames of the last bounce up it starts to feel even. Funny enough it's not as pronounced in the perspective view.
On that last landing, on x49, which is the first contact frame, you already have it squashed, but since it's the landing and finish, you could try to have it stretched out there and squashed one frame later for more of a controlled compression (the ball is trying to slow down; it's not bouncing up again).
On x50 the tail should continue the overlap and no stick in the same pose.

Seems like a lot but it's just little things here and there. Looking good! Keep going!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Michael Baran - Snowman - Critique

video

​Hey,

That's a lot better! I really like the pose on x154. He's tired, yet happy and it's a great from x137 (typical forehead sweat wipe) to 154 with a more original take on that forehead swipe! Nice!

The pose on x84 is a big broad though. If you look at just that frame, it could a moment where he gets shot by a sniper or something. :) I would tone that down a lot more.

I'm not too sure why you have that long pause from x170 to around x208. He seems suddenly really intense, as if he's thinking about something really serious. But then he just continues with the roll. What was that moment about?

I would flesh out those two sections (sniper & serious thinking) first before going into further breakdowns and spline mode, so we can see the overall timing and flow of the shot.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Critique

video

​Hey,

I'm still not convinced that he should be searching for that card. It's the facial pose with his eyes up as he's finger searching for the card. He's been using the cards for a while now, since he's been building this. So he knows where the cards are. Right now it looks as if he'd be in a dark room trying to find the card. I would have him stare at the construction because he's so into it, so focused and concentrated. He then taps to find the card, but have maybe two little taps, he's reaching for the card without taking his eyes of his masterpiece, the hand lands once, card not quite there, he lifts hand again for one adjustment, it lands on the card and then he grabs it. What do you think? It seems that if we play his concentration and obsession with his card house then the fall at the end will feel that much worse for him and the audience.

I like how delicate he is now when he puts the cards on. I think you could bring up his body and head a bit more so that there is a clearer silhouette (the edge of the face is right behind the cards). And when he takes his arms back it feels a bit spliney and without purpose. I see what you're going for with the fingers, but I'd act it out a couple times and film it so you can see the timing for it.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Critique

video

Hey,

first shot works well, I'd just adjust the right guy's elbows so they are not so mirrored and bring in some asymmetry in both guys' eyebrow. When the screen left guy looks at the right guy he could raise the browse a bit too, so you get pose changes in the face as well during different actions.

2nd shot: that last forward and backward is too even and too similar to the previous ones. I'd do something like this:

- wait with the last move until around x455, then don't go further than what you have now at x442, tiny pause, then go back. That way you have "long - long - pause - quick" which is contrast wise better than "long - long - long".

3rd shot: same comment for the eyebrows (now that the animation is further along you can put the polish and finishing touches on it for the appeal). I'm still not buying the right guys' driving as much. He would turn a bit to the left and then to the right and then straight in order to get out of that spot. I would cut out at x780 and on that cut he's turning the wheel to his right (counterclockwise for us) after a little turn to his left.

4th shot: I'd actually add 10 more frames to that pause. Did you change the timing for that since last time? (I could just check... :) ). It's a tiny bit short, but maybe that's just me? The pause length in this version feels good:
http://spungellaworkshop.blogspot.com/2010/07/krys-wada-car-parking-feedback.html

5th shot: right guy's "woohoo" on x1001 has his fist in front of his face. You can move is screen left so that we can see his face and have a cleaner silhouette. What is he doing at x1058? Adjusting his imaginary tie? I wouldn't cross silhouettes at x1107, is there a way to separate them during that moment?

Left guy feels very floaty/spliney until he falls out of the car (which looks awesome) and what is he doing at x1118? I'd make the movements more abrupt, like he's in shock but not dazed the way you have it. So it's more sharp and then at the end he softens up and falls out.

Hope that helps!
Cheers

JD

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Critique

video

​Hey,

coming along!

Let's look at the running guy first:

- Make sure that his feet are not sliding. For instance on the first step at x205, flip back and forth between 205 to 210 and you'll see how the foot slides forward and then back again. The same happens during the next step. You will have to either adjust your cycle or go in there frame by frame and make sure that the feet are locked on the ground.

- Continue with the breakdowns for the rest of the run

Card guy:

- I would tone down the head turn as he looks to the cards to the ground a tiny bit and the same goes with the reaction. Watching it now it feels like he's super surprised and excited that he found the card. Shouldn't he know that the card is there? I think that section is a bit over the top.

- once he puts the last cards on top you could vary the timing a bit in his arms, they look a bit floaty as they go up

- the fingers during the last positioning of the cards are a bit crude, I think you could have more delicate poses, for instance holding the cards with two fingers only, or something a bit more in the direction that he's very concentrated and precise with that last move.

- watch your eyeline when he puts the last cards together; looks like he's looking above the cards away into the distance; lower the eyes a bit

- the head turn at the end feels a bit soft and it looks like he's looking ahead of the guy running at the end

- the kid's reaction feels a bit simple after the guy runs by. He looks at the runner, then at the cards and when the cards fall his reaction doesn't really change that much. I would push that section more so we can see a bit more thought behind it. He could look back at the cards in fear, then relax because the cards didn't fall down, but then they fall down and he's really shocked and then closes his eyes in anger and frustration, something like that; I think the current disappointed body slump is not enough of a reaction

I'd work on these beats first. Keep going!

Cheers

JD

Barry Nardone - Creature Fight - Critique

video

Hey,

the clip looks great, it's really coming together!

One thing that will help you I think it to actually change the format to widescreen. Keep the framing for the top and bottom part, but expand on the left and right. It will free you for the 2nd shot so that the demon doesn't have to be so close to the creature.

The first shot works well. Just thinking out loud, It could also be cool for the demon to swing both his arms for the hit, a bit of a delay between each arm (it's a double whammer kinda like Indiana Jones does in his movies). I'm mentioning it because visually the demon is so much smaller than the huge crab thing and that one punch is feeling a bit small. It's not a deal breaker but if you have time and energy, it could be good to make that punch a bit more powerful.
The impact of the punch is good though on the crab, not too slow nor too fast. Are those two long antennas able to bend for some overlapping action or are they stiff?

The demon in the first shot looks good, minus the punching part, which could get beefed up, but I would tweak sections of the 2nd shot first (about that later) before that aspect of the first shot.

As I mentioned before, I think the wider framing will help you. Right now with both creatures hugging the frames it feels a bit claustrophobic and story telling wise I don't think it's needed to have that caged in feel.

The 2nd shot definitely needs a wider framing and that notion gets triggered by the demon yelling at the crab guy at the end. On the first yell the head is overlapping the crab a little bit and overall the leg pose stays pretty much the same after the last steps and he feels more like he's just standing there and yelling. I think the pose could be more dynamic, mostly in the lower body section. The arms and the head action work, but maybe the screen right leg could be further screen right or he yells at the guy and the takes a step or two, kinda like gorillas after a big fight. Not that he has to pound his chest but something like that.

One thing that stands out is the neck snapping of the crab guy. It happens over two frames and makes it feel very snappy (no pun intended). I would give it another frame and then a few frames of softening for the settle. It's a big creature and even though we are breaking the neck/head part, it should still retain some weight. The rest of the creature feels nice. If could make the head dangle a bit looser, that would be even better, like it's really broken and just barely holding together.

The demon in the 2nd shot has a very slow first step. You could get away with the foot rising that slowly but on the way down it should be faster for a more powerful plant, as if he's steadying himself for the last grab and attack.
When he snaps the crab's head I would have the hand/arm movements be more separate from the upper body/head. The arms can start the movement and then 2 frames later the head follows. Right now that rotation is happening all over the body at the same time (x156 and on). So instead of having everything stop at x158 (after slowing down the snap a bit it could end at x160 or 161) the head would continue for a few frames as overlap.

And then as mentioned the end yelling could be a bit more powerful stance wise.

You're really far along though and it's looking very sweet!

Cheers
JD

Akem Singh - Sneak - Critique

video

The sneak is getting better! I know it's a sneak and that when you sneak you're trying to be careful and quiet, but something is feeling a bit soft right now. I think it's the combination of the how soft the body rotates up and down and how the toes fold right after the plant. If you could sharpen up the body movement especially, and maybe reduce the amount of up and down could help. I would also wait until the foot touches the ground before you start lowering the body so that the body is more supported by the foot.


Almost there!
Cheers

JD

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Snehal Chaudhari - Bouncing Balls - Critique

video

The three bouncing balls look good, I would just tweak the middle one at x38. That last bounce up is too high when using up/downs over one frame. That starts to feel like a pop.

The sideways bounce is almost done, there are only a few sections that stood out:

- when it rolls off the platform, it rotates too much compared to fast it translates, reduce the rotation a bit to avoid that spinning feel
- watch the path as it falls down at the beginning, after x32 it feels like he's suddenly traveling more screen right.
- right before the ball hits the wall it slows down translation wise. Make sure that your x curve doesn't flatten out.
- biggest culprit: the screen left movement suddenly ends at x89 and then you move back to the right. Keep going screen left and finish out the bounces


Cheers
JD

Eric Chiu - Creature run - Critique

video

(there was a comment about animating to camera)

Yeah, absolutely, cameras can be a pain. Often times I do a duplicate when there is one with camera shake and have no shake in it (you don't want to have smooth arcs while the camera is shaking, so don't check spacing on a shaky cam). And for traveling cameras I check perspective mode.

Yeah, the jump is floaty, you could try 50% faster. In quicktime I changed the playback speed to 1.5 and it felt better.


You also still have that turn pop, from x149 to x150. Looking at the image, I tracked the spacing of his left jaw side line, starting around x146. The red lines show you where the jump is from x149 to 150. #1 (green) is frame 148, #2 is x149, as you can see the spacing is pretty small, and it was small a few frames before. But then to #3 you suddenly have a big spacing gab. With such a big head a quick one frame move like that sticks out.

The charge is not too fast, but you need to consider the physics and mechanics of him charging. The charge starts at x239. His front left foot is on the ground for one frame. On x238 his right one was on the ground for two frames. During all that time the back legs were off the ground. Would an animal of this size be able to suddenly charge using only his front legs, or even only one? That just feels off. I would start the charge at x233, so that the animal is using the back legs to push off and the front legs afterwards to lunge forward to help with the momentum, like a human with his/her legs and arms for the swing. Then you transition into a faster run and it will feel more motivated by the actions of the animal.

Let me know if that doesn't make sense.
Cheers
JD

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Feedback

video

​It's great to see it all together, much easier to comment on timing. My thoughts:

At the end of the first shot he sees the empty parking spot and in the second shot he's already turning. I would add at the end of the first shot how he's turning the steering wheel so that we get a visual clue that works over the cut that he's turning the car.

At the end of the 2nd shot I would add little moves of the car, moving forward and back, so that we clearly see that he's trying and not just giving up after the first try. Showing some more struggling will help and it's a good contrast to have little moves at the end since we have two big moves throughout the shot.

In the third shot, after he puts in the gear, show him handle the steering wheel and in the background we need to see the set move, so that visually again it's clear that he's getting out of there and giving the impression that he's actually given up.

Shot 4 could be twice as fast, nice turn though!!

Last shot is great! How the driver exits is awesome. The passenger's fall is a bit unclear, it would be neat to make that clearer and I wouldn't have him re-enter frame at the end. That's just confusing and too short.


Great progression!

Cheers
JD

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Michael Baran - Snowman - Critique

video

Looking better and better!

I think you could push the personality even more though. The beginning works well and I like the pause and the tiredness around x90 to x110. After that he gets really exhausted where he feels dizzy and starts to swing his arms around, x148 area. Is he drying off his wet left hand afterwards? That section after x110 to x180 is a bit unclear and I think you could use that time to really drive home the point that he's ear and stoked about the first snow (as you mentioned before). He rub his hands in an excited way, do a little excited dance or any other pre-rolling-the-ball posing that shows his eagerness despite his exhaustion.
I wouldn't lift the ball as high on the first try after x264. The height and speed of that first lift is a bit too much and fast, which takes away from the weight.Same goes for x288 to x295.
Watch out for the timing where he hits his head on the ground, around the x380 area. Treat the timing of the head up/down like a bouncing ball, and favor the hang time so accent that moment. The up/down feels a bit even, watch your Y curve.
The finger tap is great, but you could have it happen a tad later, maybe around x465 for the start point.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Barry Nardone - Creature Fight - Critique

video

Hey,

Looks much better! It's really cool!

I like the energy of the first shot but for some reason it feels a bit short now (did you change the length?). Maybe add a swipe or other arm gesture to the spikey guy for even more energy and cutting-on-action feel.
The second shot is really cool how he grabs the creature. But when twists and breaks the head part it feels really fast and poppy. Give that another two or even three frames one section can still be snappy but lead into the break can be softer and the head could be really soft and dangle once it's broken.

Having him yell at him at the end is cool but you could push the aggression. Instead of one foot on it he could at the end kick the head or push off the head. Having one leg up like that is almost too casual. He reminds me of Riker from Star Trek: TNT when he's on the bridge. :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feeback

video

This new version works much better, compare it to the older one here and you'll see how the beginning is much clearer.

I would just have the running guy zip out at the end and not slow down.

Anthony Merola - Ball bounce - Critique

video

That's much better!

The big tweak first: there's a stop and pause around x20 and then the ball goes up again?

The bounce just needs a few little tweaks! The chart is great and it shows immediately the spacing tweaks that you need to make.
Look at the spacing from x8 to 9. Now look at x9 to 10. The spacing from x9 to 10 is smaller than from 8 to 9, but it should be bigger, because the ball is accelerating as it falls.
The bounce feels a bit soft because you have a very small change from x11 to 12. Frame 12 is not needed, go from x11 straight to 13.

That's it though! Almost there!

Cheers
JD

Snehal Chaudhari - Balls - Critique

Hey,

alright, let's look at the medium Ball_02 first:

video

- The beginning until it hits the wall looks generally good! There are some little tweaks I would do. Make sure the screen right translation at the beginning doesn't have too many keys on it. There's a little slow down around the x14 area and then a speed up around the x22 area. It just should nice and even with a little gradual acceleration before it falls off the first object. The rest looks good!
- after the ball bounces off, around x70, it suddenly speeds up! The momentum is suddenly really strong again, so keep it down, so it fits more with the timing at the beginning. The bounces will be smaller and it will travel less over time, it can't just accelerate. Then watch your spacing after x79. From x79 to 80 it pretty much stops moving screen left and after that it continues the translation (after a few bounces the ball would also continue to rotate counter clockwise, especially at the end when it rolls).

Now the bouncinb balls_02:

video

- the only one I would tweak a bit is the balloon on the right. It's a bit too even. I would add a little bit of acceleration towards the end before it hits the ground. Nothing huge, but just a little bit.

Cheers
JD

Friday, July 9, 2010

Akem Singh - Sneak - Critique

video

Animation wise it's better than you think! There are three big-ish issues that stood out, but that's all fixable, I don't think you have to start from scratch.

First, the body feels a bit like it's underwater. The up and down feels too spliney and you don't feel any gravity. When the body goes up and the legs push the body up for that, it will move slow at the beginning and the gradually accelerate until the highest point, then the body will have some hang time and then gradually fall down until the foot is firmly planted and the leg stops the fall. That's in essence what happens to the body during a walk. In your case the body up and down timing feels the same, there is no acceleration in the up nor in the down, so just work on the timing for that first. The weight of the body has work and since you're tweaking the body, it will mess up your legs, so worry about them later.

2nd thing, speaking of body, it looks like the feet are moving forward too much and leaving the body behind. Watch x114 and x143 for instance. The body would fall backwards during those moments since it's off balance.

3rd thing, in the front view, your feet are pretty wide apart and there are no arcs during the steps. The feet are pointed straight towards us and move in just that axis and up, but not sideways. You can rotate the feet out a bit, bring them closer together and introduce an arced path for each step. The feet can arc in or out during the passing, that's up to you.

I would work on the body first, then address the bigger arc issues with the feet and then go from there. Let's not worry about detail stuff yet.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Critique

video

The scale works much better! And the shots look good!

Let's look at them individually:

shot1:
- the indifferent guy is good, nice pose, it's all very clear. Animation wise I would do another pass on the eyes, they seem to move independently. For instance around x77, the screen right eye goes to the right and the screen left one goes to the left. The area after x95 is also a bit funky. Make sure that they move together.
When he looks to the right after x60 I think you could have his headturn be more active. It's a bit too subtle, you could push it a bit more.
- the driver has some eye issues as well. Watch after x48, they get a bit too active. When you have eye darts going left and right and left and right, it doesn't feel natural. Act it out, move your eyes left and right and you'll feel that it is a bit awkward. Just dart to one side, pause a bit, little dart more to the left or down, then pause, then to the right. Give it a beat between each direction.

shot3:
- the blocking reads clearly as well. Timing wise I would have one of the two turn towards us a bit sooner. Right now they are doing it at the same time and you could offset that. The passenger brings up his book a bit slowly and then his head slowly drifts down.
- the driver's expression stays the same and I'm sure he's going through different emotions in that shot, so try to add more variety to his acting.

I would continue with the rest of the sequence so that you have all the shots in place and then focus on the detail work.

Cheers
JD

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feedback

video

Cool, that gives us a good idea of what's going on!

What is the kid doing with his cards at the beginning? He takes a big swing at something? If he's picking up a card then I would change that gesture. Something that big and fast could make the cards fall and you'd think that the kid is very careful about his creation and doesn't want anything to break.
I would put the cards more screen left so that they are clearly visible.


With the cards on the left the kid should pick them up very delicately and since the cards are screen left the silhouette of the kid's arm/hand/fingers will be nice and clear.

What's tricky with a walk/run cycle is that the speed is constant when you have him move around. If you'd have him slow at the beginning and speed up towards the end the feet would slide. But that's what I would suggest for the background guy. If possible, try to add rhythm and contrast to his movements, so that he isn't just running by with even timing step wise. Hope that makes sense.

Cheers
JD

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Michael Baran - Snowman - Feedback

video

Cool! I like that camera angle much more!

I think the general idea is there and you have all the main poses in there. Now, before you start adding breakdowns and extremes I would think about his character and his emotions. Right now he's just going through the steps and mechanics of rolling the ball. What's missing is the state of mind. Character wise I would have to read him as robotic. There is no indication if he's enjoying himself, or if he's tired, cold, frustrated, in a hurry, etc. etc. What if he's tried to roll that thing up onto the body for the past two days? He could be really tired. And when the head falls on him, he could smash his fist into the ground because he's just so fed up with it.
Or he's really patient and after the head smash he's just tapping his fingers as in "Hmm... really? That shouldn't have happened.".

I hope that makes sense. The timing of how he pushes the ball, how he repositions himself will tell us something about his character and mood. Give the audience something to connect with.

Cheers
JD

Monday, July 5, 2010

Erik Lee - Fight - Critique

video

1st shot:
- I should have mentioned that earlier, sorry... The girl, when she moves her arms up and her torso a bit to the left, watch her root and hips, they are totally locked. So have them follow that rotation and adjust her posing so it doesn't feel so separate.

2nd shot:
- nitpicky detail: when she moves her eyes screen right, you could adjust the brows a bit. Maybe the screen right brow goes up a bit more and the left just a tiny bit up. Same with the mouth, maybe a little clench or the mouth is a bit open at the beginning (just a bit), then as she darts to her left, the mouth closes.
And I would move her even more to the right as she exits the frame. On x57 she's still really close to the camera. Then x58 the ear is massive! :)

3rd shot:
- her screen right hand on x66 is good but then on x67, after such a big move down, how about the wrist is rotated up, so the hand really drags. It might get too flowy, but it could also make her a bit more graceful. Same with the screen left hand on x67, it could drag a bit more towards the point where the hand just was.
I would have to see a ground plane in order to judge if her hand is planted correctly around the x76 area.
There's something weird with the far right creature falling. For instance the foot at x86 just goes straight down until x89. It doesn't look like you're finishing the arc. Same with the root. Look at his screen right butt cheek on x77, then 78 and 79, it's moving in a horizontal line, then on x80 and on it moves pretty straight down. So finish the arc there as well.

5th shot:
- the girl landing is still a bit off spacing wise. Watch x158 to 160. The spacing is pretty big, then from x160 to 161 it's a bit smaller, which is okay, but on x162 she goes suddenly up and even less to the right, then on x163 almost nothing to the right, still up, then on x164 suddenly down. Those changes could get softened.
Watch her root from x173 to 174, it feels like she's slowing down the downward move, but the foot hasn't planted yet to push so that she would actually slow down. So delay that slowing down by 2 frames at least. In the same vein, I would also delay how she brings up her body around the x196 area, so that it's more in line with her right leg stabilizing herself and allowing her to move her body up.

Sorry for the wait, 4th of July craziness delayed the critique!

Hope it helps though!

Cheers
JD

Barry Nardone - Creature Fight - Feedback

video

Definitely on the right track, especially the second shot. The first shot feels spatially a bit crammed. I think you could move the camera a bit further back, and separate the two so that there is a bigger gap between them.
I like how the bipedal guy sticks his spikes out, but the crab is kinda looking at the guy but not really, and then in the second shot he turns around to face the spikey guy.
It could be more interesting to have the first shot be in the middle of the fight. So imagine they were already fighting and either the spike guy or crab tried to kill the other one and we cut to your first shot where one of them is just finishing that attack or recovers from it. Right now the crab guy doesn't really do much at the beginning of the first shot. So it feels a bit like: "Aaaand action crab guy! Move!"
I would try to add something more dynamic in terms of relation ship. And you can go further with that in the 2nd shot. When the crab guy attacks, the spikey guy just walks backwards. What if they would interact more. Maybe the spike guy charges the crab at the same but then gets pushed back. He then recovers and takes a swing at him. Maybe when he gets pushed back, he's holding on to the two horns below the jaw of the crab.

What do you guys think?