Friday, July 29, 2011

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique

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​The shot looks great overall, here is just my super picky point of view.


For the polish stuff, I usually attack it section by section​. And section wise, I start with the body parts that will affect all other body parts, meaning, I start with the root first and work through smaller and smaller sections, ending with fingers and facial work. So, let's do it:


The root seems fine overall, but there are little areas I would tweak:


- when he first comes out and rises, there's a sticky frame, on x118. Flip through x117 and 118 fast and you'll see how there's big spacing from x116 to 117 and then a sudden stop. Just keep going up a bit to soften that, then one more frame going up a TINY bit or down a little bit and then feather into what you have, ending on the down around x129. It's okay for him to go up faster, since it's his legs pushing, but give it enough hang time, since it's the body that falls down and it's not going down by another force than gravity. He's not being pulled down, so avoid crazy stops or sudden one frame direction changes. Of course, in a more cartoony clip it can be okay, but looking at your overall style and timing choices, it's not something like Pocoyo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QFfzI2tJDg). :)

- from x145 to 146 it feels like a linear key. You could go down a bit less over one frame and then feather into what you have, so it's not so abrupt. Watch out how everything seems to start no that frame. Head goes up, arm gets off the door wall, so break it up. By slowing down the root it will reduce the sudden head drag (even if it's just a frame), and delay the arm by 2 frames.

- watch out how the root goes down in a vertical way from x145 to 149, and then up and to the left diagonally until x153. It's very straight and I'm missing an arc, plus the direction change from x149 to 150 could be smoother (which it will be if you give it a nicer arc)

- there's a great arc and nice timing on his jump and down around x156; I would bring that type of feel to the direction change at x167 as well

- watch your spacing after that though, from x171 to 172 it feels like the root is a bit too far left; you were going down a specific arc and then suddenly on that frame it pops to the left; then after that frame, you stop the screen left momentum and just have the root come towards us over two frames, and then there's a sudden direction change up without an ease out on x174 to 175; same no x178 where he's going up and left, and then over one frame he stops going up and goes screen right. That whole sections feels a bit messy arc wise and spacing wise.

- the rest feels fine until around x225, where he does the weight shift ending around x240. I can see a hip rotation, but it feels a bit locked in space. I would have the root translate a bit screen left, since that side of the hip goes up, meaning that it bears more weight than the other side. But if you don't show a root shift, then it just looks like a ship pose change without any center of weight and balance change.


​Head

- on his way up around x154, I would tilt the head to the left (rotate counter clock wise), so it's not so vertical all the time; I think it can point towards the spot he's going a bit more

- watch out for x161 to 162. The head goes down and then suddenly does just a horizontal screen left move; it looks like you're rotating the head in Y, but then at x164 you rotate it back the other way; that little section feels too "translate-y"

- on the up around x167 and on the down around x171, then back up around x177, etc. I would tilt the head as well. It's good that it's broken up from the body and it's not like you want it to snake around during each hope; it's just that it feels a bit too locked in the vertical axis

- breaking it up with a sideways tilt will help the direction change after x179, where the head first goes screen left and then suddenly screen right. You could have the head move and rotate screen right a bit earlier, so that he's leading that action with his head a bit more (now that the audio starts); it will also help you with the sticky frame, when flipping back and forth through x178 to 179 (watch the top line of the head over 176 to 181 and you'll see how the head goes up and suddenly stops)

- the head shake during "where you're going" feels a bit too locked in the horizontal Y rotation; you could have it a bit more complex with up and down arcs

- since you already had a head shake, I would tone it down during the "I was gonna make..." part, it could just go one way horizontally (screen left) with more up and down accents based on the audio, and then go screen right after x240

- when you do go to the right, watch the arc from x240 to 245, it's very flat and could be pushed a bit more; same goes on the way back to x261

- I would actually add 5 to 10 frames to the end, so we can linger a bit more on that sad face. Right now it just cuts out after the head turn is done, which feels a bit abrupt


Arms/Hands

- screen left goes up until around x161 and then it moves more to the left until x164, then straight up again until x167, where it stops and sticks (and forms a tangent with the fingertips right at the framing edge), then it drops in a pretty straight line and then suddenly to the left around x172; so overall the arcs and spacing needs a bit more love, also watch out how the wrist is mostly in the same up rotation, giving it a bit of an IK feel; it continues with a left arc that suddenly flattens going from x173, to 174 and 175

- for the screen right arm after x161 I'd watch out for his hand and finger poses. The fingers seem a bit flat, with a a few exceptions at x170, with the area standing out the most being x172 to 176 (the same wrist orientation and finger pose)

- watch out for the finger curling at x191 to 194, with all the fingers doing the same thing and at the same time

- the screen right arm feels a bit even and IK-ish from x223 to 241, then the arc is a bit flat up to 247, with a sudden stop at x248 and then a drifty feeling lowering of the arm until the end


Feet:

- on x156, the front foot could be tilted more clockwise, same on x157, so that it only flattens once it's planted


Shoulder:

- on the drop from x201 to 209, they feel a bit isolated; you could drop and rotate the chest a bit forward, so that the surrounding body parts are more connected to and affected by each other


Eyes:

- the blink from x134 to 140 feels a bit linear in timing and too blocky. And on the up, there could be a little bit of a jaw change, so that this surprised look is not just isolated to the eye/brow area

- watch out for eye line problems like no x168, where he looks up, or x190 where he looks down

- watch the back foot how it goes up to x161 and then moves pretty horizontally until around x163, so watch your arcs during that area


Mouth:

- on x194, at the end of "going?", it could have a more pronounced "EEEE" shape, with the corners of the mouth more asymmetrical, so that the mouth shape is not so even and flat

- I wouldn't close the mouth on x200, I think it would feel more natural and working with the audio if his mouth was always open



BAM! Hope that helps! :)
JD

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Rouzbeh Ghasemi - Vacuum - Critique

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​The arms look a lot better! Overall the clip is really strong! It's a sweet demo reel piece!

Here a few tweaks I would look into:

- his right elbow pops to the right from x223 to 225, looking like the arm is overextending. You can bring down the shoulder to smooth that out

- look at the right wrist and vacuum from x229 to 230, flip back and forth and you'll see how it's pivoting off the grey little thingie underneath the vacuum; then from x230 to 231 it all pops screen right; what you can do is this: track that grey thingie from x226 to 227, it's starting a screen right move, but then goes straight down on x228, keep it going to the right a little bit, same onto 229 and 230, so that by 230 it won't have to go as far to the right onto 231, which will reduce the pop

- his right wrist pops up over two frames from x246 to to 248

- the hip/root feels like it's drifting screen right from x222 to 235; it's just even in timing, so I would slow it down more at the beginning; I like the ambient move, but just tie it more to the rest of the body action, so it doesn't feel like a separate drift

- the thumb could need one more inbetween when it's pushing the button (x63, 110, 113, 134, 136). Big moves like that over one frame feel too poppy

That would be my priority and if you have time left, you could do one more pass on the his right arm about the IK. It's definitely better and it doesn't look IK anymore, it just feels like it (and only from the beginning to x152). I know that sounds silly but there is a difference.


Hope that helps!
JD

Alon Helman - Jump - Critique

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Nice update! I really like the settle after the landing!


​My thoughts (using quicktime frame counter starting at x0)

- I would give the squash pose one more frame (or two). So when he goes down, you'd have a bit more of an ease in and out before the push off; right now he goes down at x14 to 15, and then immediately up on x16, so a one frame direction change is a bit abrupt; also, track the spacing from x15 to 16 and you will see that x16 to 17 is much smaller (and so are the following ones), which means that you have almost a pop as a jump over one frame and then an immediate slow down, which all in all looks a bit off in real time

- watch out for the screen left leg (persp view), it pops from bent x16 to straight x17.

- you can start pulling in the screen left knee at x18, so that the knee cap is not pointing to the left but to the right

- on x26, you could have one foot tilted sideways and out in Y, so they're not so twinned and parallel; one foot could also land a frame later, just so it's not all so mirrored


Hope that helps!

JD

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Franck Tingue - Balls - Feedback

The smaller (heavy) ball still feels a bit light. Think bowling ball. It will hit hard, bounce up once, not even as a high as what you have at x17, then one more little tiny bounce and that's it and not move so far screen right.

The light ball is a bit all over the place. Even without the maya file, you can see that there are just too many keys in there. It's too poppy and the overall feel is just off. If you compare the Y curve of your scene to the typical bouncing ball curve, you can clearly see the difference. The Y curve should look like any of those bouncing ball drawings in animation books, at least path wise. Spacing wise it will be almost the same, but over more seconds. Compress a beach ball anim and speed it up, it will look like a regular bouncing ball. So try that. Do a regular bouncing ball with a couple bounces, then scale the keys so it takes longer and slow it down.








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Alon Helman - Jump - Critique

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Very cool, I like how you have him swing his arms sideways and land crouched. That gives a nice contrast in terms of body shapes across the shot. Good thinking!

You mentioned that the keys are aligned, so for your next pass look out for offsets in your movements, so that different body parts start and stop at different times.

My only comments would be about the weight distribution at the beginning. He leans to the left (I'm looking through the persp camera), but the screen right leg gets off the ground a bit early. So on x7, I would have his left leg still on the ground so that the root is a bit more leaning over his right leg, then lift his left leg, but push the weight shift more. So on x9, it doesn't look like he's over his right leg enough (it looks better in the front view camera clip, but the persp is more interesting so I would base your anim on that view and push it so that it works towards that camera).
ON x18 you seem to overstretch his legs, with the IK controllers being still on the ground. I would bring up the legs, and I would also rotate down his left foot, so it doesn't get off the ground horizontally.
As you spline out the keys, it will help the arc of the head, but just in case, make sure that when he goes down and up around x14, that there isn't a direction change over one frame like now. You can drag the head a bit as the body goes up for that.
Watch out for his right arm once he jumps. It swings to the right, then left, then back to right and finally left until he lands. I think you can simplify this a bit more, so it's not so frenetic.
The head could also have a visible impact once he lands on x27 and on, just a little down/up move so it's not so stiff.

Great first pass! You mentioned that you needed to go back to basics, but you're kicking butt, I don't see you struggling at all!

Cheers
JD

Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

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Love love love how he pushes the guy over with his foot after x1513 and the pause after he closes the door and the sigh. That part is just gold, LOVE IT! Nicely done!

I agree with your notes and I would tweak just a few little sections:

- I would push the clear silhouette and separation of the characters after x1075, when the blue guy stumbles to the left. He kinda leans back and just lifts his left foot up and then puts it back down. You could bring that foot a bit more screen left on the down so by the time we hit x1095, the key is not in front of the red guy's chest but visually in front of the car, separated from the red guy (kinda where he's at x1099).
- the first lift still feels a bit abrupt when it stops. So when he starts around x1277 and stops around x1248, I would ease more into that stop
- watch out for the blue guy's right hand after x1300 to 1320. There are still a few intersecting moments between the hand and the red guy
- looking at the 2nd shot, you could have the blue guy's legs a bit more vertical. At x1434 for instance, the don't look like they're just dangling, they're angle down to the right
- you can push the sideways tilt of the feet when they take steps; so on the red guy for instance, from x1052, when the right foot takes a step it just goes up and down and to the right. But two frames before it gets off the ground, the foot can tilt sideways first. Feet also don't have to plant horizontally, they can be tilted as well. It just eliminates default rotations at 0. So comb through the clip and push it a bit more. It also counts for foot rolls. Like on x1485, when the right foot of the red guy is almost off the ground, you see how the leg is leaning to the left, you can continue that line and tilt the foot to the left a bit, so you can feel how the weight shift affects the feet/ankles as well.
- last thing, I would loosen up the blue guy's head from x1296 to 1302. It looks like he's awake again and looking up. If that's the intention, then ok, but I thought at that point he's passed out. So around x1299 I would tilt the head to his left down and keep it dangling and not so straight up

Really enjoy seeing how far those shots have come along! Great job!

Cheers
JD

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique

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Ah okay, no worries about the character then. It is a funny contrast. :)

The shot looks really good! You're making my job hard here. I really don't have that much to say, sorry!! :)

I would love to see this now in spline mode.

I wonder how far you can push the stretchiness, given that his actions have a lot of bounce to it (which looks nice). So from x149 to 150 as he goes down, you could translate up the head or stretch it a tiny bit (less stretch than translation), then when going back up on x154 you could bring the head down (translated) a bit more. It might get too squash and stretch, but try it.

When he says "wait" the head is fairly locked. This might not read as well because he's coming down after the first hop right before he says it, but it would be good to get a head accent for "wait", so it's not just the jaw that will say the word, but so that you will feel how the head is involved in that yell as well.

Around x195, I'd think that the screen right hip side would be up, since the weight is on the screen right leg, but you don't see the clear steps. But judging from the rhythm you have, he lands on his right leg around x169, so around x186 his left leg takes a step, then all the weight is on it around x192 on (so yeah, bring that side of the hip up), then around x216 the other leg is finishing the steps. So from x218 to 252, as he leans from side to side, you can involve the hips a bit more so that you can see the weight shifts. Nothing crazy, but I think you can push it a bit more.

Looking great, keep going!
JD

Ji-Hong Kim - Wife - Critique

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Pretty much done, but there are still some same areas that need pushing, don't be too timid! :)

Shot1:
- the end seems different (sorry if not), but the glass going up at the end stops a bit too fast at x57, so don't flatten the Y up curve too fast, you can do a looser moving hold. When I first watched it, it felt like the hand pretty much stopped moving right before the cut

Shot2:
- again, sorry if I didn't see that before, it's just standing out now: her screen right elbow, track it as it goes down and you'll see how from x24 to 25 it almost stops and from x25 to 26 it goes up a little bit; so just like the glass holding hand in shot 1, ease more into that, don't stop that downward move (visually of the elbow) so quickly

Shot3:
- picky detail: after the captain elbows the guy and the arm goes back, you start the wrist rotation about x83 and end it around 87. I would have it start around 86, so it's more of a wrist adjustment after his arm is on the counter. Otherwise it feels like you're going from pose A to B and then back to A. You want it to be more like A to B to C. Andy you could relax the fingers at the end a bit more, for the same reasons, so it doesn't feel like you're going back to the same pose
- the "hahaha" of the left guy could be exaggerated 20% more and the "maa-a-an" 40% (rought numbers). It's getting there, but push it, you want to really see and feel how those two moments come out of his chest and head

That's it! Almost there!! Picky to the very end!!!! :)

But I have to say, nice fixes on all the other stuff, you're really rounding this clip out to be a great piece!! Nice work!

JD

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

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This looks really great!

All the actions are in place, I like your 2nd camera, it's all coming together. I only have to broader comments about the ending. One, after he throws up onto the chair, the blue guy's legs are limping over the chair, but sideways towards us, and then the red guy closes the door on him. Normally, there wouldn't be space for legs to be on the side and it's almost painful to see him close the door. His legs are going to be squished! It might just be me. What do you think about the red guy grabbing the blue guy's ankles and lifting the leg up and back, so that the feet rest on the chair, beforfe he closes the door?

- The other thing is the overall timing of the red guy at the end. The dip from x1530 to around x1545 feels a bit fast. I think you could slow it down and make it a bit more "exhausted + sad", someting where it's more of a sigh. You could also just slow this whole action down by 30%, then after x1550, you add a sigh, with shoulders going up and down and a little bit of chest movement. It just feels rushed at the end and I think it's ok to give it a longer beat.

- Anim wise, here my thoughts:

- I should have mentioned that earlier, sorry, but the blue guy on x983, at the very beginning, since he's staying in that pose for a beat, should have his key-holding-arm out screen right, in a free silhouette, so that we can see the key. Unless you move it even more screen left, so it's between his left arm and the left line of his body, as if he's trying to shield the key away from the red guy. Anything you can do for a clearer hand/key silhouette at the beginning.

- Some overall anim notes for polish and for pushing the anim a bit: every time the blue guy leans over to one side, like on x1003, you can tilt the weight bearing foot sideways as well, so his right foot on that frame. That way they are not so stuck IK-ish to the ground and it will make him feel looser as well. Same goes for the red guy. For instance, x1068, as he's leaning over to the right and ready to jump off, from x1066 to 1069 the foot can roll/tilt to the right, so it's a sideways roll off, and not just a regular foot roll. This means a lot of frame by frame work, but it's good when the feet feel more ankered and influenced by the ankle and the root weight shifts.

- I'm not sure if this rig has shoulder controls, but it would be neat to loosen up the shoulders and push the poses with them. Like on x1061, the red guy, as he lifts his arms, it could have the shoulders higher, so it feels more tense. Same on x1085, pushed against the car, the shoulders could be up and back. So overall, involve the shoulders a bit more if possible.

- Watch out for the silhouette on the red guy on x1110. I would bring the hand more screen left so it's not covering his face.

- Watch out for blue-guy-hand intersections from x1309 to 1322, as he's being lifted up.

- I would slow down the lift up a little bit from x1363 to 1368 and not have it stop so quickly either. Right now it goes up quickly and almost comes to a halt for a few frames. It gives it too much of a blocky and jerky feel. Smoothing out that transition would be good.

- The last bounce of the blue guy after he falls could be a bit looser and a tad slower. Look at his foot going up and down, changing direction at x1120. That feels like a linear key. Give it enough hang time. And on the impact at x1123, it could roll off after the impact, not just hit and stop. It will help loosening the whole thing.

- Could you move his hand a bit towards us, so that the hand is in a clear silhouette?

- I would also slow down the arm that he lifts up a tiny bit and extend the hang time a bit. After the drop, it's his last bit of energy he has. If you make it too fast, then it feels like he has enough energy to get up again.

- Watch out for IK-moments, like the right wrist on the red guy at x1457 to 1466. His body goes to the left and the arm is moving, so that would have some movement in the wrist as well. You have it right after that, but I would just have it from the beginning, just super small and ramping up into what you have. As long as you keep the fingers locked, it won't look as if the hand is sliding.

- Speaking of hands, you can also loosen up the fingers of the blue guy. Like on x1466, bring down his right thumb and don't spread out the fingers. Keep the loose and dead, just hanging down, following gravity.

OK, hope that helps! It's really nice work overall!

Cheers
JD

Monday, July 18, 2011

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Critique

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​That's looking really nice!

​ As you mentioned, there are some linear moments, like on x38 where the chest rotates abruptly. I also wonder if it's a hair too fast? Or just too big? Same with the move around x76. It's good to have contrast in the performance, but having both moments big like that, makes him a bit too active compared to his line delivery. The audio is so calm, I think you could keep the first one starting at x38, just a bit softer (he has the pause in the audio, so I think it's a good moment for an accent), but tone down the look up later a lot more (less in the head, less in the shoulders). Could just be me, that was just my first impression when I watched this version.

Body wise there's something funky going on after x98 where the body rotates away from us but the head tilts towards us, then the whole body moves as one unit to around x149. I wouldn't break it up too much between the head/chest/root because he has that regal attitude, but it's just a tad stiff. You could loosen it up a little bit in the chest and shoulders as he makes that big turn. Then you could bring the shoulders back up a little bit and rotate the chest back a tiny bit before "I will..." as if he's breathing in.


I really like the move on "told me", I'm a big fan of head accents that don't overdo it and this one at the end combined with the eye flare works really well.


Overall the body is working really well. The facial performance is a big part though and I think you will be able to bring the performance up a notch with it.


Cheers

JD

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Franck Tingue - Monster - Feedback

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My first impression when I watched the clip was that you could barely read that the girl started to pull the leg of the bear. It was mainly because Leau is getting up. So movement wise, there's more with the monster, so the audience's eye will go over to him and we will miss whatever the girl is doing. I would space it out a bit more where the girl is lowering her head while the monster kid is not moving at all. So the audience will look at her because that big shape is moving. Then slow down the head and do a hand gesture towards the bear (a grab or pull), so that the eye goes there. Then you have the monster react to that so that the eye continues to move screen right towards him. Something like that. But I think this way the audience will get a good look at everything and understand each beat.
The rest flows better, it's just all very fast and poppy, like her move back from x432 to 436. You will have to break down that move into head, chest and root action, it's not going to be moving all together, plus you'll have to slow it down. If you'd act out her movements right now, mimicking the exact timing of your playblast, you'd feel how fast it is. But when she's done with that move, I'd freeze her a bit longer in shock, so that she doesn't move when the monster grabs his bear and so that this moments reads clearly (don't rush it all). Then when he's done, she's jumping forward.

The main thing is definitely the timing, it's all feeling rushed and poppy (like when he grabs the bear, look at the bear and watch how abruptly he changes direction; he feels like he's made out of wood too). I like the reference you sent me, so study your timing and how that would translate to the creature. And a good test is always to act out your playblast. You will immediately feel what's unnatural.

Jessica Gamio - Marry - Critique

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The clip looks better and better! I like the acting changes you put in a lot. Her pose at x67 is great.

The main and only thing actually I would change, is his look after his line. At x208 I would start to have him look to the door and turn his head as he reaches for the door. Right now his stare towards her is so long, it almost becomes comedic. You want to keep it in the condescending/arrogant/confident range. The furthest you could push it is to have him look until around x221. I thin anything beyond that is kinda forcing it.

Besides that, the rest seems locked to me, so I would go ahead and start working on refining the timing and the transitions between poses. For instance, and this might be obvious to you since you're working on it but I'm just mentioning what I'm seeing:

- she moves the box screen right out of her other hand right within the first two frames of the shot; you want to generally avoid introducing big moves or changes or single story points during the first 6 to 8 frames and last 6 to 8 frames of a shot. At beginning the audience has to soak in the overall impression of the shot (who is here, where are they, what's going on) and if there's something important happening right at the beginning, the audience will miss. Same for the end. The audience is comfortable with the shot and if something big happens right at the end, it will feel like a pop and just confuse the audience.
So in your case, I'd have 7 frames of the pose you have on x1, hold that for a bit, then start the move of her giving the box to the guy
- watch out for global moves like from x41 to 45, where the whole body moves. It's too stiff, you'll have to break it up between the head, chest and hip area and slow it down.
- same for the pose she strikes around x67. I like the pose and facial attitude, it's just happening too fast, especially when you listen to the audio. She sounds much calmer, so that quick move feels disconnected from the audio.
- watch out for stray keys. It looks like she's drifting to her pose around x122; same from x206 to 301, where her eyes drift screen right. With her just standing there, it's all about her facial expressions, as she listens to the guy, processes what he says, pretends to be unfazed and then breaks down. You want to see in her face how she's thinking through all those stages.
- her move from x349 to 355 is also a bit too fast, but then her facial pose doesn't look too devastated, so it's a bit unclear what the end is supposed to mean. Is she just breaking down, is it an angry throw down of her arms, etc. Just be clear about her emotions

- for the guy it's mainly his stare and from a technical point of view, watch out for pops like around x227 when he gets the door handle. Also make sure that the contact point will be solid, so that his hand is not sliding off the handle.
- the walk out is a great opportunity to show character. Right now it's a bit default-y. Do you want him to just stroll out? Or should he be more evil confident? Or just relaxed and confident? Think about the character and how he feels at that moment (victorious?) and try to portray that emotion in the walk.

Hope that helps!
JD

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hyunah Ko - Laundry - Critique

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My impression of this version, in broad strokes first:


- the timing of the phone dropping is way too slow, it's almost slow-motion

- the timing of the phone-grabbing-bouncing part is too fast and too even in terms of rhythm; the up and down happens too fast and on a even rhythmic timing (if that makes more sense)

- the phone falls into the washer and then suddenly the woman has her hand/arm in it; the moment of ​her realizing that it went in there and then her putting her arm in there needs to be a separate beat (not much longer, but just a moment that registers more)

- you can end it like that, but I would give it another beat; it feels like it's cutting on the action of her having her arm in there and you could add another beat to give her a moment for a reaction


Anim wise:


- the root feels stuck from x3, if you watch the head, to x4, then the head is stuck in place from x6 7 to again; the root feels linear from x10 to 11, how it goes up and down; head is stuck in space from x24 to 25 again

- her left foot is sliding from x4 to, then 10 to 14; her right foot on the next plant is sliding around as well

- watch out for the root after x25, it feels like she's speeding up a lot going screen left

- her right foot speeds up from x27 to 29, then slows down abruptly and then moves slowly until x43.

- watch out for her right leg overextending from x43 to 45

- make sure her weight shifting is working when she stops. Right now for instance her last step in on x49 but after that plant the hips and root don't react to it, there's no adjustment

- watch out for her left hand during the basket carrying part, it's sliding around; it needs stronger contact

- her shoulders could get more involved during the x29+ section, where she lifts up the basket, even if her left shoulder is squeezing the phone

- same goes for when she puts the basket on the washer, the shoulders could react a bit and the head just follows the shoulder so that the phone stays squeezed between the two

- during the pull up of the basket and drop you could adjust the fingers, so that you can read pose changes reflecting how she has to hold on to it harder during the pull up and then release the tension in the fingers after she drops the basket onto the washer

- the basket seems to accelerate on its own from x43 to 44

- the basket rotation from x55 to 62 doesn't feel like it's being initiated by her left hand pushing; it's more like the basket is moving on its own and pulling the hand along

- her hand grabbing the phone feels a bit like a magnet getting drawn towards the phone, I'd would show how the hand gets to the phone, then adjusts so that the fingers can wrap around it; make it look and feel like the hand and fingers are holding on to an object (watch out for finger intersections, like on x89); the elbow needs to get adjusted through that motion as well, right now it goes up and abruptly stops at x90

- watch the arc of the hand as it lets go of the phone and drops onto the basket ending around x108; the whole move and stop feels very linear in terms of start and stop and direction changes

- both arms go up at the same time at x135+, offset them by keeping her left hand on the basket longer for instance

- the left hand reaching the top shelf also just stops once it gets there, you don't feel how the hand interacts with the shelf

- as mentioned before, the drop of the phone doesn't feel right timing wise; it's too slow and it could pivot off her shoulder more from x156 to 159; the rotation of the phone as it falls stops and then goes the other way, keep the momentum going in the same direction

- her right hand reaching down for the phone is very linear arc wise, which feels a bit too IK-ish, and it's intersection the shelf at x166

- the following miss-grabs by her feel fast and linear, and this goes for the phone as well; for instance, watch x169 to 170, how small the spacing is of the phone going down (which btw. looks like it's maybe touching the hand, then sliding off of it towards us?), then from x170 to 171 it just jumps up; same goes from x176 to 177; it doesn't feel like the hand is driving the phone motion, it's more like the phone is independently bouncing off of it

- the phone rotation counterclockwise should continue after the bounce on x182; right now it goes up without any rotation; the hang time of the phone on x186 could be pushed a bit more and the direction change from up to down shouldn't be linear

- it looks like the phone is going through her hand from x188 to 189

- when she leans on the washer (watch out for the hand intersection with the washer), you could push the shoulder up a bit more, so you can feel how she's putting the weight on that arm from x196 to around 202


Alright!! Hope that helps! :)
JD

Monday, July 11, 2011

Ji-Hong Kim - Wife - Critique

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Alright, looking better and better! Minor notes:

Shot1:

- the arc of the hand/arm when he grabs the glass is much better; there's still something off with the timing at the beginning, you're super close though. This could help you. He grabs the glass on x13 and on x14 he's already lifting it. I think one frame of contact might give it not enough weight and tactile response to him holding and grabbing something. I would add two more frames like x13, where he's just grabbing the lower part of the glass. So on x14 and 15, tighten the fingers a tiny bit but don't lift the glass yet.

- then, when he lifts the glass, at around x21 (now - if you add two frames it would be x23), rotate the glass a tiny bit counter clock wise. Right now the glass is super vertical, from the ground, to the moment where he grabs it and during the lift. Having something that super clean vertical during all that moment makes it look too perfect, too CG. I think by adding a little sideways rotation, gives it a little imperfection that you need during that part.

- I would stretch out the elbow rotation down so it ends later; now it starts around x35 and ends around x44, which gives it that IK feeling still, when elbows move quickly while not influencing the wrist that much; I would end it around x53

- the end frame is good, because you're tilting the glass clockwise, towards his "wife", so it's not so vertical anymore

- watch out, in my clip it jumps from x59 to 61 with a pose change po


Shot2:

- being super picky here, but the girls screen right hand/arm feels IK from x14 to 20, because her body is moving, the elbow is moving, but the wrist orientation and translation stays the same, which makes it feel sticky and IK


Shot3:

- the captain's hand during the elbowing still looks separate from the action. You need to change the finger pose as well. The arm starts to move screen right from x75 to 76. So you could squeeze that fist a little bit from x73 to 76; then on x81, the wrist rotation should be more counter clockwise, towards him - right now you have the arm go towards the chest from x79 to 81 while the wrist orientation is locked, which makes it look IK again. The spacing of the wrist going screen left also stops at x79 to 80 (because he hits the rips of the guy), so by rotating the wrist towards him it will help sell the tension, then there's some overlap that also helps the sudden stop; then when the hand goes back, the fingers could be a bit more relaxed around x89 (the finger pose stays the same throughout that whole section)

- I wouldn't drag the glass hand as much from x75 to 79 and counter as much until x85; that section feels a bit IK since the body is moving so much yet the hand stays pretty much in place (giving it that sticky IK feel)

- the left guy still needs to have the first "hahaha" and "ma-a-an" exaggerated so that it really feels like those sounds are coming out of his chest

- this I should have mentioned earlier, sorry, I never noticed before... but looking at x187, the tip of the bottle ends up right where the shoulder is, so if you do the squint test, the bottle disappears in front of his upper arm. If you could either rotate the wrist overall or move the the hand screen left, so that the tip of the bottle is silhouetted, that would help. Sorry!!


The rest looks great!


Being picky because it's such an awesome sequence!! Keep going, you're almost there!


JD

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Alon Helman - Sitting - Critique

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Alright, that looks great, I just have minor comments.

One would be about the head spacing. I think it should overlap a bit more as he sits down, so it finishes a nice arc as opposed to having such a linear path. It feels like the chin hit a table top or something. Here's what I mean:


Watch out for his left arm, it feels a bit IK until x46; especially around x29 and on, where his elbow goes in but the rotation of the wrist is the same. And watch out for x40 to 43, it feels like the hand is stuck in space as the rest moves. Overall it looks like it's on the same horizontal path. When he turns around, in the x25 area, his body could be rotated sideways a bit, which would give the arm a little path in the path, so you get an arc.
I like the arm action when he sits, but I'm inclined to say that it is a bit fast. I would at slow down the arm pull back, which feels literally like he's pulling his arms back, instead of them naturally bouncing back. It's okay he that is his voluntary action, to pull his arms back, but in this shot right now, it looks like he's hurrying to pull them back, which feels a bit weird.

Contrasted with this fast movement are his feet, which feel slow. Those I would speed up by at least 30%, so it doesn't look like he's deliberately keeping them off the ground.

Almost there, just little things. It's overall really cool though already!
JD

Nitis Wiroonpetch - Monkey - Critique

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Hey,

that looks great! Love the new close up slow-mo shot!

Here my thoughts for each shot:

shot1:
- I would globally move the guy screen right, so that both characters are clearly separated and not visually overlapping
- when the guy is more screen right, you can then globally rotate him so that on x70 you can have a cleaner silhouette for when his foot is in the air. If you pinch your eyes, you don't really know what's going on with the foot/leg/right arm/left upper arm/chest, it's all mushed together.
- on x73 I would bring down the monkey's tail, it would drag with such a quick high jump, and offset his legs a bit; right now they look like parallel overstretched IK legs
- I would also do a bigger squash on x71 and delete the whole x74 frame; you have a big jump from x72 to 73, but then slow frame until x76, which feels weird because he's suddenly fast and then suddenly slow
- the guy: he's so fast from x36 to 38, that on x39 he needs to be more screen left for more overlap with the head; right now he just goes left super fast then stops while being more screen right again; watching that in real time makes it look like he bumped his head into a wall
- the guy's arms feel IK from x36 to 40, especially x38 to 39, where they stick in the spot
- I would separate his arms around x48 so that they are not overlapping visually, it looks like he has only one arm
- his left arm floats up from x55 to 69 in a very straight way, looking like IK, there's no arc in there and the timing is even

shot2:
- what stands out in this one is how stiff his hips are; looking at x71, the silhouette has a lot of very harsh lines; the screen right shoulder should be higher, the hip area has the screen right leg just sticking out, which gets even weirder on x91
- the screen right leg does something weird from x98 to 99
- silhouette on x105 is weird with his screen left leg, the knee points towards us, so it looks like he has a very small leg; same on x109 with his screen right leg

shot3:
- awesome
- the only thing would be the guy's mouth feels very rectangular, but if that's the style, no problem

shot4:
- x116 to 117 the whole upper body plus arms move together, you'd have to offset the arms, drag them so it's not so stiff
- lots of silhouette problems here, like on x120, his feet, that section could be clearer and he looks off balance on that frame as well; x126 the monkey and human arms look like they are touching, same on x127; you could move the guy's screen left arm up and to the right a bit more so that there is no overlap between the leg and the hand on x129 to 131; more overlapping on x136 with the monkey feet and guy arm; worst on from x141 to 144 which doesn't read well, is that a punch? The guy's movements are too linear and unclear from x139 to 145 (no clear arcs, poppy spacing)
- the guy's spinning after x150 looks like he's just spinning without a body part supporting that move. You could have his arms start with the swing that will help with the body momentum
- another weird silhouette on x157, with the screen right leg looking detached and the screen left ankle broken, the screen right shoulder detached and down, which continues on to x164, where the screen right leg look super short (watch out where you point the knees)

Whew! Lots of details stuff, but keep going, it's going to be super awesome!!
JD

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Richard Clark - Drunk - Feedback

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Hey,

that's cool to see!

Here's a little note that's not a dealbreaker but for future clips something to think about. In your first shot you're establishing that they are going from screen right to screen left. So in your second shot, you're breaking the 180 degree camera rule, by having them go from screen left to screen right. It's not confusing most of the times and people break that rule all the time in movies nowadays, but there are moments where you can't do it because the audience will be confused.

The second shot feels a bit long though. It's too bad that he doesn't get the keys into the door in the first shot and when he falls over he pulls the door open. Because that way, in the second shot, around x1373, the door would open and the red could throw him right into the car. Now, has to take little steps to the car, then open the door, then take little steps around the door and put him in there. That whole section is just too long and drags a bit rhythm wise.
Plus technically, he puts him into the driver seat, so why try to stop him in the first shot? He should throw him onto the passenger seat and then get into the driver seat to drive him home.
Another little detail. With that guy being so passed out, I doubt he would hold on to the keys. The red guy could take them and put them into this mouth since he has both hands full.

Time wise, you can also cheat and have the blue guy closer to the car in the second shot. The audience won't notice and the red guy will have to take fewer steps, which will speed up that shot.

What do you think?
JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Feedback

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Hey,

I like where you're going with this shot. My only comment anim wise, would be the fist part on "kill". I wonder if that's a bit too on the nose. Fist/crush/kill, acting out the words type of thing. I really like the audio delivery and I think you could push that Kill moment with more of an emphasis on the facial acting and less with a gesture.

There's a lot you can do with eyes, so for instance if you have a guy that has a lot of eye darts, active eyes and an active head (little head turns) and then he quiets down and the eyes focus and almost stare, you get a lot of contrast. So in your shot, as he projects what he's going to discover, he's actively imagining it in his head, so his mind is busy, therefore you will read that in his eyes. But when he's thinking about the kill, it's a single minded focus, so that will get reflected in his eyes as well. And that stillness will be a good way to emphasize that moment, instead of externalizing it with a gesture.

What do you think?

Otherwise, keep going! It's a bit rough anim wise with stepped keys to give you specific anim feedback from a technical point of view, so I would start the next pass with more breakdowns and splined keys. There's also nothing that stands out as being "wrong". My only little critique would be to have the background wall be more screen left, so that the head doesn't form a tangent with that wall line at the end.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Hyunah Ko - Laundry - Critique

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Hey,

alright, let's look at the IP stage, which is coming along really nicely!

First, the few things that caught my eye after seeing it for the first time.
- her arm movements around x51 to 71 feel too fast. It makes her look really rushed and given the style of animation at the beginning, doesn't fit (too snappy cartoony)
- her body down rotation and arm move from x91 to 95 is too fast as well, plus it makes her look really mad since she's so forcefully putting that sock away; although, that could work too.

What you could tweak for character, is this moment where she puts the sock in there. That could go beyond just a move. Right there you can show what she thinks. Is it the typical day to day job? Is this sock especially stinky today? Does she hate that sock? Etc. So within the more physical aspect of this shot, you can inject a little character.

- x169 to 179, too fast; there's no weight if you move the whole upper body down and especially up that fast - it would be funny if her face was wet after she comes up :)

So those are the main things I would work on. A bit more detailed (I know you just switched to IP, I'm just mentioning what I'm seeing right now):
- when she walks forward, it looks like you have a few sudden fast forward moves, then slow, then fast; watch out for those speed changes, they don't feel like they come from her and her walk; smooth out those transitions a bit more
- x38 to 41, her left foot/leg going forward is also too fast, give it 3 or so more frames.
- from x122 139 you will have to make a bit more complex; she just gets to that pose at 122 and then drifts to 139. I would have her try to grab the detergent, so with those arm moves it will make more sense that she can't squeeze her phone anymore
- the physics of the phone drop are off, the phone starts pretty slow and then suddenly drops

Hope that helps!
JD

Atle Hillmann - Car crash - Feedback

So here, I took a few frames out of your clip and adjusted the hand and arm. First, you don't want the hand or anything else covering your character's face, unless it's an important story point. In your case, we want to see his face so we can read his thought process. The actions that he's going through with fixing the car can all be restaged so that the hand is lower and not covering his face. The story point is still coming across, but now the silhouette is clear.

For the above one, I also lowered the car-holding-arm, since that hand pose is about putting the last piece on the car, so you'll have to adjust more than just his left arm.




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