Sunday, September 25, 2011

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique

video

Alright, so here more detailed feedback:

- first, I would color each character with a simple color, but make each one of them very separate, so that you can tell them apart easier

shot1:
- the camera goes already down after around x16, as if it knew that the dino will get smashed down to the ground. I'd keep it up so that you frame Tiny's head and the dino jaw. Have the camera always a little bit late compared to the action
- Tiny's slam down happens a bit pose to pose and it feels more like the body rotates down first, then elbows and then the jaw gets opened. I think that action could be a bit clearer. You could break the jaw first and then slam the head down, so it doesn't happen all together.
- the dino is only 4 frames in the shot until we cut to the next shot. I would have it a bit longer, so that we clearly understand from where he comes from. Give the audience enough time to register each beat. So at least double the time of the dino in frame. Have it come in, pause, and then attack Tiny. If you need more than 8 frames, that's okay. It can all still happen fast, just right now it's a bit too fast.

shot2 and 3 are very similar angle wise, so the cut from shot2 to shot3. Step frame back and forth between the cut and you'll see how similar they are. You could have shot2 a bit more behind Tiny and the dino and less profile, and in shot3 you have the camera more towards Tiny, so that it starts visually kinda like around x72.

There's an odd moment in shot3 around x80 where it all kinda slows down. What's the story point there? Is that suddenly slow-motion?

And when Tiny moves his arm back to around x105 it also feels slow. It could work in terms of Indy slowly gaining strength again and preparing for the slap, but then I would have the Dino really active in the head during that time, trying to bite through Tiny's arm.

The slap could be clearer silhouette wise around x116. I would move them apart more so that they are not overlapping like on x117 and 125, etc.
Tiny's grab around x125 is way too fast and it looks as if the dino is moving down the head first. Make sure that after the slap you give it enough time for both creatures to finish their momentum and that Tiny will engage first and pull the dino's head down and that the dino will react to that move (they won't move at the same time).

The lift up, slam and push after that is great, I just wish you could have the dino not in front of Tiny at x171, 172 and 173, so that there's a clear silhouette. Maybe the camera slowly rotates around to the left, so that Tiny is more screen left and the dino is more screen right at x173. Speaking of camera, it feels weird how the camera pulls back and then stops at x80. Way too linear. Approach the camera like your animation, it has to work physics wise as if it was operated.

Hope that makes sense!
JD

Monday, September 12, 2011

Sebastian Cartelli - Walk - Critique

video

​Hey,

I like it! The part where she​'s using the tablet before she picks up the cup is good and the pause before the grab and once she holds the cup is great. Not sure about the tablet idea, a book could work better, but then again, she could be reading from a notepad, it doesn't really matter.

The camera feels a bit odd, since it's so high up. It's almost like a security camera. i would bring it down so it's a bit more like the side camera, just a bit higher. Think of how a practical camera would be set up and what a comfortable height would be.

Anim wise you're off to a great start. The only thing that felt weird is her right arm. The way it's hanging there feels a bit forced, it's a bit straight. In the sideview it's almost like a military walk. Maybe once you add more breakdowns and you can see/feel a more relaxed swing, then it will work. Just think about that section as you move on.

I would first lower the camera and send me that the moment it's ready, then we can look at a few poses that might need some tweaks for the silhouette. Right now, the current perspective camera is not very flattering regarding her arm silhouette as she walks away. Even with the camera lower I think we will have to adjust that, unless you have her walk more towards the camera after x97, so we see more of her front part.

What do you think?

Cheers
JD