Aziz Kocanaogullari - Radio - Feedback

I like what you have in your clip right now. They way she behaves and does little detail things is great. Especially how she stops the swinging bat.

What I would do to push things and to bring in more contrast is when he swings in, have him TAKE the mic away. A total huge broad swipe and snatch away and then he keeps it in his hands, manhandling it, so he is the total ass and then she looks him and steadies the bat for continuing contrast between him and her. Right now the guy feels a bit timid and it's not that much of a big deal that said boo.

That was my initial reaction, but Aziz offered this explanation:

> About him taking the mike away, I actually tried doing that, but it's too > busy and doesn't help the eye direction at all. Once he does that, all the > attention goes to him and stays on him where I want to show the girls > reaction too. Also, I think that move would make him more of a jerk like > character rather then this care-free character I'm going for. I don't want > him to be annoying in the sense that he's trying to be annoying. He just > doesn't care about the whole thing so much by menas of process, getting > ready for the show. He just does what comes naturally to him where as the > girl is full on prepared. I think if I make him take the mic away, that'll > just come across as an ass like you said but like on purpose, as if he's > trying to be an ass. I don't know, could i explain myself? > > You know, I just want people to think he's annoying through the way he > laughs and reacts, not by actually trying to make him be annoying. Oh man, > I suck at explaining things on writing. > > You think the contrast in the shot is still not enough?

So I thought:

Ah I see, yeah, he would be a deliberate ass. But if you want him to be more casual, then it's okay and doesn't need more contrast. And you're explaining yourself just fine.

But what do you guys think? You could push it further, but that changes the tone.

Feedback - Aziz Kocanaogullari

You're right about directing the audience's eye, mainly to me it's during the "Happy Halloween" part. Since he's talking, I'm looking at him, so I'm missing her annoyed reaction.

Overall I like his entrance, but otherwise, dare I say, it's a bit simple? Maybe push the characters more in their contrast. If she's annoyed at his goofy state, then push that. What if their table has a more clear division, where she's the neat freak and he's the slob. So that at the beginning when we are just on her side, she's preparing everything very neatly, papers ready, etc. then she GRABS the mic so it's clear that she wants to say something, then he comes in and interrupts her (I kinda missed the fact that she wants to say something into the mic, I was focused on him, because she wasn't that interesting).

That's my first reaction to the piece. What do you guys think?

Shot ideas - Aziz Kocanaogullari

1st shot - it's a bit of an unconventional dialogue but I've wanted to animate to that dialogue for a long while and I guess i just gonna go for it, you know, just so i'll have some fun animating rather than thinking what I should do strategically. So the dialogue is here: http://www.azizk.com/boo.mov . The shot is in a radio station, camera's set up looking straight from the front at the girl and the guy who's running the show. It has that stupid radio jingles that's promoting the radio station itself in the beginning so in that section, I'm hoping i can show the characters off a bit. (I have the guy in mind a bit more cheerful, carefree type of guy where the girl is kind of uptight and cares about her work). So I'll hopefully show those character when the jingle is playing and then there are like 2 more lines and a bit of laughter. So I kindda feel like it'll be a fun shot. What do you think about this?

I think that could be very interesting, I like your character ideas. It would be cool to see someone in the back booth counting down and signaling the guys when they can start to talk.

I would cut the last little part, where the guy goes "I got..." or whatever he says. Just have the laughter.

So this alien comes in to the scene from camera left as if looking for something, looking all around. He doesn't have the tentacles, just arms with no hands. Then he hears someone coming and suddenly stops. The tentacles come out and he throws them up, off screen and pulls himself up - again off screen. Then we see a huge, built guy (totally giving the bad guy vibe) run in looking for the alien, with a gun. Long story short, the alien's going to pull him up using his tentacles. Kind of like a physical / entertaining shot. Again, thoughts?

Could be fun, there's definitely room for a lot of complex physicality once the guy gets pulled up.
Once the alien comes in though, is he frantically looking around trying to hide? Is he scared? Or is he angry? Does he care at all? If he's cool about it, maybe the tentacle comes down in a playful manner behind the guy, before he pulls him up? Does the tentacle tap him on his shoulder beforehand? Or is it more violent Alien style? Just think about WHY there characters are there and give them a reason for every movement.