Krys Wada - Car parking - Critique

It's coming together really well!! Here my thoughts:

> First shot - I adjusted the twinning for elbow and eyebrows. I went
> with a subtle brow raise from the screen left guy as he turns.

Left guy:
I think the eyebrow raise is pretty good, but you could lift the screen right one a bit higher once you hit the pose on x65.
When he reads, I would dart his eyes a bit more from right to left and not have one continuous long shift. It feels a bit robotic. It gets also a bit weird when he turns his head from around x40 to x50 to the left. Since the eyes are going to the left but the head is faster it looks like the eyes are suddenly not moving.

Right guy:
At x78 he lifts his head up to around x85 but the eyes are drifting down? Not sure if they eye controller is too close, or if you lift the head up too much, it's just a weird moment when you have that much head movement but the eyes are moving the opposite way of the head movement.

> Second shot - I didn't dedicate as much time to but I did try to shake
> up the back and forths more. Slow ins and fast outs.

For the last movement forward I wouldn't move further than 429, so there's more contrast and you can get a little back and forth as a last quick funny move. I'd also start with the tires. Also, when the car breaks and stops, you could some forward tilt (just like the side to side tilt after the power slide/drift).

> Third shot - I improved on the driving. I feel really good about the
> changes I made. I also added some variation in the facial
> expressions.

The driving does feel really good with the guy. How he handles the wheel is nice! I would just have the car start a bit softer, it feels a bit linear how it starts moving. Have more of a gradual acceleration.
The passenger's book lift feels a bit even and slow, it could also settle a bit more, so it doesn't just stop.
The driver's eyes feel a bit weird. There's the same thing going on like in the previous shot where the head moves and the eyes move around in their socket (if that's a way to explain it). Especially when he shifts gears. The eyes also get wall eyed (too spread apart) around x748 and then they get back together, with the screen right on moving independently. Try to keep them more locked together.

> Fourth shot - I added in those missing frames. You were totally
> right! It was longer in the previous version.

Looks great!

> Fifth shot - I fixed the issues concerning the guy on the right.
> Moved his fist so that this pose is clearer and adjusted the lean over
> so their heads don't cross each other. I'm sorry about the confusion
> with the arm movements - they were supposed to be unbuckling seat
> belts. I added them in. I hope it reads well. The left guy is still
> floaty but I was trying to break up his movements so they didn't just
> all flow together.

When the driver does his fist move, it feels very IK-ish. Careful, try to avoid locking the fist in one direction while the arm bends around. Both hands do it actually during that part. They just move forward and backwards, but there's no major side to side and up/down, they are locked and move independently from their arms. Some of the pose transitions like the body lean right after the seat unbuckling feels too linear.

The passenger still feels floaty, like you said. But I like the general idea.

Nice work!

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Critique

​
Hey,

first shot works well, I'd just adjust the right guy's elbows so they are not so mirrored and bring in some asymmetry in both guys' eyebrow. When the screen left guy looks at the right guy he could raise the browse a bit too, so you get pose changes in the face as well during different actions.

2nd shot: that last forward and backward is too even and too similar to the previous ones. I'd do something like this:

- wait with the last move until around x455, then don't go further than what you have now at x442, tiny pause, then go back. That way you have "long - long - pause - quick" which is contrast wise better than "long - long - long".

3rd shot: same comment for the eyebrows (now that the animation is further along you can put the polish and finishing touches on it for the appeal). I'm still not buying the right guys' driving as much. He would turn a bit to the left and then to the right and then straight in order to get out of that spot. I would cut out at x780 and on that cut he's turning the wheel to his right (counterclockwise for us) after a little turn to his left.

4th shot: I'd actually add 10 more frames to that pause. Did you change the timing for that since last time? (I could just check... :) ). It's a tiny bit short, but maybe that's just me? The pause length in this version feels good:
http://spungellaworkshop.blogspot.com/2010/07/krys-wada-car-parking-feedback.html

5th shot: right guy's "woohoo" on x1001 has his fist in front of his face. You can move is screen left so that we can see his face and have a cleaner silhouette. What is he doing at x1058? Adjusting his imaginary tie? I wouldn't cross silhouettes at x1107, is there a way to separate them during that moment?

Left guy feels very floaty/spliney until he falls out of the car (which looks awesome) and what is he doing at x1118? I'd make the movements more abrupt, like he's in shock but not dazed the way you have it. So it's more sharp and then at the end he softens up and falls out.

Hope that helps!
Cheers

JD

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Feedback

​It's great to see it all together, much easier to comment on timing. My thoughts:

At the end of the first shot he sees the empty parking spot and in the second shot he's already turning. I would add at the end of the first shot how he's turning the steering wheel so that we get a visual clue that works over the cut that he's turning the car.

At the end of the 2nd shot I would add little moves of the car, moving forward and back, so that we clearly see that he's trying and not just giving up after the first try. Showing some more struggling will help and it's a good contrast to have little moves at the end since we have two big moves throughout the shot.

In the third shot, after he puts in the gear, show him handle the steering wheel and in the background we need to see the set move, so that visually again it's clear that he's getting out of there and giving the impression that he's actually given up.

Shot 4 could be twice as fast, nice turn though!!

Last shot is great! How the driver exits is awesome. The passenger's fall is a bit unclear, it would be neat to make that clearer and I wouldn't have him re-enter frame at the end. That's just confusing and too short.


Great progression!

Cheers
JD

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Critique

The scale works much better! And the shots look good!

Let's look at them individually:

shot1:
- the indifferent guy is good, nice pose, it's all very clear. Animation wise I would do another pass on the eyes, they seem to move independently. For instance around x77, the screen right eye goes to the right and the screen left one goes to the left. The area after x95 is also a bit funky. Make sure that they move together.
When he looks to the right after x60 I think you could have his headturn be more active. It's a bit too subtle, you could push it a bit more.
- the driver has some eye issues as well. Watch after x48, they get a bit too active. When you have eye darts going left and right and left and right, it doesn't feel natural. Act it out, move your eyes left and right and you'll feel that it is a bit awkward. Just dart to one side, pause a bit, little dart more to the left or down, then pause, then to the right. Give it a beat between each direction.

shot3:
- the blocking reads clearly as well. Timing wise I would have one of the two turn towards us a bit sooner. Right now they are doing it at the same time and you could offset that. The passenger brings up his book a bit slowly and then his head slowly drifts down.
- the driver's expression stays the same and I'm sure he's going through different emotions in that shot, so try to add more variety to his acting.

I would continue with the rest of the sequence so that you have all the shots in place and then focus on the detail work.

Cheers
JD

Krys Wada - Car parking - Feedback

First thing, the guys look really small in this car, especially in the last shot when he changes gear (he's really stretching that car).
Overall it feels a bit slow and floaty I'm afraid. Think about rhythm and how you want to pace the sequence. Since he's defeated afterwards and drives away, his demeanor can be slower and disappointed, but for contrast I would amp up the first shot where he's really active and looking around. The passenger is relaxed on the other hand, and he will be freaked out at the end after the crazy parking stunt, whereas the driver is happy and relaxed since he just parked in a cool way. Try to incorporate more contrast in their poses and their acting, so you we can differentiate them better and think about the story arc, where they start and where they end up, emotionally and visually.