Eric Yang - Giant - Feedback

The shot works better and I think you're good to go to start fleshing out things. I'd go in chunks and work on sections.

Speaking of which, here my thoughts on the current version:

- from the beginning to around x97 the entrance of the big character is a bit boring, meaning, he's not really coming across as menacing or big.Especially x65 to 104 he's not doing much. What if they had already fought and the big guy is hurt. So the overall coming up is just a bit more labored and painful.
So watch out for the timing of your beginning and silhouette:

The arm at the beginning just kinda slides over for a grab and you could make it more dramatic and clear.

What makes the entrance rigid as well is the body orientation of the big guy. He's mostly straight up and not really rotating and throwing its weight into the arm swings.
Also, imagine that from x60 to 100 he could be using his legs to climb up, which would affect the body.

I'd also add some stones and whatnot on the ground at the beginning so we can clearly see what the camera is doing:

I'd work on that section first since it's the big intro. You need a strong beginning otherwise people check out early on.

Hope this helps!
JD

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - camera adjustment

Here's the previous camera, where I thought that some of the cuts weren't clear enough. When framing back and forth between the cut points, it looked like some of the shots were too similar.

So here's my take on the camera, which has small tweaks, but I was trying to make the cuts more clear by giving the shots a different focus.

Franck Tingue - Balls - Feedback

The smaller (heavy) ball still feels a bit light. Think bowling ball. It will hit hard, bounce up once, not even as a high as what you have at x17, then one more little tiny bounce and that's it and not move so far screen right.

The light ball is a bit all over the place. Even without the maya file, you can see that there are just too many keys in there. It's too poppy and the overall feel is just off. If you compare the Y curve of your scene to the typical bouncing ball curve, you can clearly see the difference. The Y curve should look like any of those bouncing ball drawings in animation books, at least path wise. Spacing wise it will be almost the same, but over more seconds. Compress a beach ball anim and speed it up, it will look like a regular bouncing ball. So try that. Do a regular bouncing ball with a couple bounces, then scale the keys so it takes longer and slow it down.

Franck Tingue - Monster - Feedback

My first impression when I watched the clip was that you could barely read that the girl started to pull the leg of the bear. It was mainly because Leau is getting up. So movement wise, there's more with the monster, so the audience's eye will go over to him and we will miss whatever the girl is doing. I would space it out a bit more where the girl is lowering her head while the monster kid is not moving at all. So the audience will look at her because that big shape is moving. Then slow down the head and do a hand gesture towards the bear (a grab or pull), so that the eye goes there. Then you have the monster react to that so that the eye continues to move screen right towards him. Something like that. But I think this way the audience will get a good look at everything and understand each beat.
The rest flows better, it's just all very fast and poppy, like her move back from x432 to 436. You will have to break down that move into head, chest and root action, it's not going to be moving all together, plus you'll have to slow it down. If you'd act out her movements right now, mimicking the exact timing of your playblast, you'd feel how fast it is. But when she's done with that move, I'd freeze her a bit longer in shock, so that she doesn't move when the monster grabs his bear and so that this moments reads clearly (don't rush it all). Then when he's done, she's jumping forward.

The main thing is definitely the timing, it's all feeling rushed and poppy (like when he grabs the bear, look at the bear and watch how abruptly he changes direction; he feels like he's made out of wood too). I like the reference you sent me, so study your timing and how that would translate to the creature. And a good test is always to act out your playblast. You will immediately feel what's unnatural.

Richard Clark - Drunk - Feedback

Hey,

that's cool to see!

Here's a little note that's not a dealbreaker but for future clips something to think about. In your first shot you're establishing that they are going from screen right to screen left. So in your second shot, you're breaking the 180 degree camera rule, by having them go from screen left to screen right. It's not confusing most of the times and people break that rule all the time in movies nowadays, but there are moments where you can't do it because the audience will be confused.

The second shot feels a bit long though. It's too bad that he doesn't get the keys into the door in the first shot and when he falls over he pulls the door open. Because that way, in the second shot, around x1373, the door would open and the red could throw him right into the car. Now, has to take little steps to the car, then open the door, then take little steps around the door and put him in there. That whole section is just too long and drags a bit rhythm wise.
Plus technically, he puts him into the driver seat, so why try to stop him in the first shot? He should throw him onto the passenger seat and then get into the driver seat to drive him home.
Another little detail. With that guy being so passed out, I doubt he would hold on to the keys. The red guy could take them and put them into this mouth since he has both hands full.

Time wise, you can also cheat and have the blue guy closer to the car in the second shot. The audience won't notice and the red guy will have to take fewer steps, which will speed up that shot.

What do you think?
JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Feedback

Hey,

I like where you're going with this shot. My only comment anim wise, would be the fist part on "kill". I wonder if that's a bit too on the nose. Fist/crush/kill, acting out the words type of thing. I really like the audio delivery and I think you could push that Kill moment with more of an emphasis on the facial acting and less with a gesture.

There's a lot you can do with eyes, so for instance if you have a guy that has a lot of eye darts, active eyes and an active head (little head turns) and then he quiets down and the eyes focus and almost stare, you get a lot of contrast. So in your shot, as he projects what he's going to discover, he's actively imagining it in his head, so his mind is busy, therefore you will read that in his eyes. But when he's thinking about the kill, it's a single minded focus, so that will get reflected in his eyes as well. And that stillness will be a good way to emphasize that moment, instead of externalizing it with a gesture.

What do you think?

Otherwise, keep going! It's a bit rough anim wise with stepped keys to give you specific anim feedback from a technical point of view, so I would start the next pass with more breakdowns and splined keys. There's also nothing that stands out as being "wrong". My only little critique would be to have the background wall be more screen left, so that the head doesn't form a tangent with that wall line at the end.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Atle Hillmann - Car crash - Feedback

So here, I took a few frames out of your clip and adjusted the hand and arm. First, you don't want the hand or anything else covering your character's face, unless it's an important story point. In your case, we want to see his face so we can read his thought process. The actions that he's going through with fixing the car can all be restaged so that the hand is lower and not covering his face. The story point is still coming across, but now the silhouette is clear.

For the above one, I also lowered the car-holding-arm, since that hand pose is about putting the last piece on the car, so you'll have to adjust more than just his left arm.

Jessica Gamio - Marry - Feedback

I think that's headed in the right direction, there are only a few tweaks I would do. I like how forceful she is but for contrast I would keep the guy more calm. I don't think he would throw the case down because it's a bit aggressive and even angry. But for him to say "Does that matter?" means that he's very sure of himself, he's very confident. I think he would just put that case onto a side table or something (or casually put it back into his pocket (jacket or pants).

Same goes for the walk out. It's a bit fast. I would slow it all down so that the door closing would happen at x298. Make him controlled, he's in control of himself, he's calm, because he's so arrogant and sure of himself, vs. her, who feels defeated and powerless (she may rebel against his advances, but she might know deep down that he's stronger, which you could show in her facial expression towards the end. As he walks away her angry and stern face turns into something more sad and defeated).

What do you think?

JD

Bruno Andrade - Robot fight - Feedback

The animatic is a tricky thing. On one hand I really like it! The sequence is cool, the cameras are cool and the overall feel is great. On the other hand, looking at it purely from an animation point of view in terms of showing off skills for a reel, most shots won't have that much in them. The first one he's just standing there, same with the second one (which has an awesome reveal), the jump shot is a bit simple and short, the robot waiting won't have that much in it, the fall towards camera won't have much, the stab-jump-land could be a bit more complex and have the most potential.

It might be a good idea to continue the fight with the scorpion (it could grab it by the tail and spin it around for a throw; the action of grabbing, pulling the scorpion into a swing, all that momentum stuff could show off great weight). Then you have more meaty reel stuff, but as a whole, you could still finish the whole thing so that you have a sweet sequence with beginning and end.

Sometimes people put reel only shots at the front, then after the credits put the whole thing on it in case they want to see everything. You can polish out the shots and they won't hurt you anim wise (they're just not complex enough for the main reel) but then people can see how you put a story together with cameras and cuts.

Jaewon Rho - And free - Feedback

Hey,

alright! Getting better though, I like the changes so far! The guy is definitely better, the tie moment and how he grabs the chair is good and I like that he turns her around now. I would continue with that and start adding more breakdowns and more facial work for him.

The woman still feels fairly similar. I would concentrate now on the beginning up to x250. What you want to establish now is more visual contrast between the two characters. Having him be tense and feeling how he's bubbling up inside yet trying to keep it together is one side. The woman, and given the audio as well, would be more alive, perky, with more body movement as she's mocking the man. That way visually you have one character moving a lot versus the other character not moving that much.

Then, when the guy grabs the chair and turns her around it's a reversal of that energy, where she gets very tense and afraid and not moving, and him getting into her face and more agitated.

So with her, think this approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piimPHFFqtA#t=2m03s

the movements would be slower of course, but you can get a lot of her personality through her head movements. That and eye rolls, closed eyes, high eyebrows, etc. Keep the actions that you have with her arms, just give her more attitude.

But for the guy, keep going with more breakdowns, look for arcs, overlapping actions (like during the tie adjustment so that you involve his shoulders as well) and I'll get into the nitty gritty.

Cheers
JD

Jessica Gamio - Check out - Feedback

Hey,

I think that's work pretty well! About the individual shots, here my thoughts:

Shot 1, with the title at the top, works. All I would tweak is the camera a bit, so that instead of mostly rotating down to keep the guy in frame, you add more of a translate down, so it's not such a security camera/birds-eye view shot. Imagine a camera on a crane and then they lower the crane.

Afterward it gets a bit tricky because you're breaking the 180 rule a lot. Look at shot 1, he's looking left to right, then shot two, it's a right to left composition. I know where are looking over his shoulder, but imagine you'd horizontally flop the image, you'd get the same thing, but the eye direction would be correct.

At the end of shot two, he turns his head and we are left with a right to left direction (looking at your current shot),

then shot 3 has left to right again.

From shot 3 to 4 is good because you're keeping the right to left movement.

So just be mindful of how you position your camera and the character for future shots.

Hope that helps!
Cheers

JD

​

Lukas Niklaus - New York - Feedback

Animation aside (which looks good btw.), there's a confusing feel in terms of screen direction. It's technically working, but there's a weird feel of having her look screen left at the end, but then shot 3 has her screen left and him screen right. It could work if you just flop the last shot so that she's on the right.

Acting wise, I feel like the delivery for both characters is pretty sad and subdued. So when she's saying "I grew in New York..." and then swallows before "and I moved to L.A. ..." it feels like she's having a hard time saying those lines (both physically and mentally), yet the way you play it out with her look up after "New York" (a frame counter is needed) she smiles, which feels odd, given the tone and feeling of the audio. I would keep it more serious and take that smile out.
The same thing for the guy at the end. His "Yeah I know..." is not exactly happy but you have him smile, which feels weird as well.
I would have her eye direction stay within the left field (so on New York have her look screen left and not screen right - same thing on "... married but... ". You still have a lot of room on the left for different eye darts, but I think overall visually it will be clearer. Unless you have her look screen right but down, so it's about her thoughts and not eye contact with the guy.

Michael Baran - Snowman - Feedback

The clip looks definitely better! I wouldn't change camera angles so late in the game since you're working on poses that work for this current camera. Breaking up the shot can be nice, but is not needed. If you break it up, you could add a close up when he stops rolling the ball and catches his breath, after that you can go back to the previous camera.

Animation wise it's coming together, but the arcs still feel a bit blocky, as if you keys on linear instead of spline. In terms of detail you'd have to work on finger poses (they stay mainly the same, especially during the very last pull/push). But before you get into that I would concentrate on the believability of the weight and the timing between poses.

Let's take for instance the first two pushes and then the segment where he steps away from the ball. Look at the timing and arcs of his arms. They kinda float up, then to the left then down. What I'm missing is a nice flow and rhythm of movements. Both arms move almost in sync. The root's movement also feels a bit blocky. Without contrast of movement and proper weight (like arms around x65 to x95) the animation tends to feel slow motion-y.

I would pick out separate sections, for instance the first push, then the 2nd push, walk backwards, side steps, etc. and work on those sections alone, separately, until it feels right. Shoot reference, act it out, time out how your arms swing and move. And try to act out exactly what you animated there. Try to pantomime your exact timing of animation and you'll notice areas that feel off.

Without specific timing the clip ends up being just about mechanics and the personality of a character is lost. The closest you get is during his pause where he wipes off his forehead and at the end during the finger taps.

I hope this makes sense...

Barry Nardone - Winged Creature - Feedback

Overall it's very cool! Good mix of slow action and anticipation, with a nice action packed finish!
My thoughts on the shots individually.

1st shot:
I would have just the guy in frame, so we think "What's he up to?". Then the creature rises from behind the rocks so that our eyes go over there and we are introduced to what the guy is looking for. You can make it a badass evil rise and reveal.

2nd shot:
Can you compose it so that the human is visually in 2D space higher, so that he has less space in front of him? That way subconsciously we don't give him much room to see and it gives it a more caged in feel.


3rd shot:
I would slow down the camera pan while the creature is grabbing the guy. It's overall too fast, but I would actually linger on that moment, so you can see the cool moment of how the claws grab the guy, how he looks surprised, etc. all the gory details.

Again, super sweet idea. Nice way of show casing a little story, build up suspense, camera movement and of course complex animation.

Cheers
JD

Barry Nardone - Sure - Feedback

​Hey hey,

It's actually interesting to watch it without sound so you can concentrate on the visual changes and contrast (you do hit the right moments lipsync wise during the pauses and the breathing).

I understand the tone of the clip and the emotional continuity, but when I watched it the first time without sound (soooo sleepy... moving slowly - you should see me type :) ), I felt like the overall facial expression is pretty much the same through out. Look at the very beginning and the very end. Head down, eyes off to the side, head tilted away a bit, and the middle part is just a softer version of it. I do like how the body changes direction in the middle, that works well.

Maybe she could be insecure and timid at the beginning (like you have it) but afterwards she turns she's a bit more concentrated, probing and serious? It would work with the sound and would be emotionally and visually a bit more contrasty. Something so that the very first and very last frame feel different (especially facially).

Hope that makes sense...

Cheers
JD

Erik Lee - Goat - Feedback

That's some exotic looking goat! :)

I really like the idea! The only moment that stood out was the section during x90 and x110. I don't buy how the creature is pushing off and jumping up. I think it's just a matter of leaving the front legs no the edge of that rock so that they function as stabilizer and pushers. Keep them there up until around x100. So it's the legs that push off first, the front legs that keep the balance and start pushing at the end as well right as the back legs catch up.

I think that should work. Maybe do just a quick fix during that part before you continue?

Cheers
JD

Krys Wada - Car Parking - Feedback

​It's great to see it all together, much easier to comment on timing. My thoughts:

At the end of the first shot he sees the empty parking spot and in the second shot he's already turning. I would add at the end of the first shot how he's turning the steering wheel so that we get a visual clue that works over the cut that he's turning the car.

At the end of the 2nd shot I would add little moves of the car, moving forward and back, so that we clearly see that he's trying and not just giving up after the first try. Showing some more struggling will help and it's a good contrast to have little moves at the end since we have two big moves throughout the shot.

In the third shot, after he puts in the gear, show him handle the steering wheel and in the background we need to see the set move, so that visually again it's clear that he's getting out of there and giving the impression that he's actually given up.

Shot 4 could be twice as fast, nice turn though!!

Last shot is great! How the driver exits is awesome. The passenger's fall is a bit unclear, it would be neat to make that clearer and I wouldn't have him re-enter frame at the end. That's just confusing and too short.


Great progression!

Cheers
JD

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feeback

This new version works much better, compare it to the older one here and you'll see how the beginning is much clearer.

I would just have the running guy zip out at the end and not slow down.

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feedback

Cool, that gives us a good idea of what's going on!

What is the kid doing with his cards at the beginning? He takes a big swing at something? If he's picking up a card then I would change that gesture. Something that big and fast could make the cards fall and you'd think that the kid is very careful about his creation and doesn't want anything to break.
I would put the cards more screen left so that they are clearly visible.


With the cards on the left the kid should pick them up very delicately and since the cards are screen left the silhouette of the kid's arm/hand/fingers will be nice and clear.

What's tricky with a walk/run cycle is that the speed is constant when you have him move around. If you'd have him slow at the beginning and speed up towards the end the feet would slide. But that's what I would suggest for the background guy. If possible, try to add rhythm and contrast to his movements, so that he isn't just running by with even timing step wise. Hope that makes sense.

Cheers
JD

Michael Baran - Snowman - Feedback

Cool! I like that camera angle much more!

I think the general idea is there and you have all the main poses in there. Now, before you start adding breakdowns and extremes I would think about his character and his emotions. Right now he's just going through the steps and mechanics of rolling the ball. What's missing is the state of mind. Character wise I would have to read him as robotic. There is no indication if he's enjoying himself, or if he's tired, cold, frustrated, in a hurry, etc. etc. What if he's tried to roll that thing up onto the body for the past two days? He could be really tired. And when the head falls on him, he could smash his fist into the ground because he's just so fed up with it.
Or he's really patient and after the head smash he's just tapping his fingers as in "Hmm... really? That shouldn't have happened.".

I hope that makes sense. The timing of how he pushes the ball, how he repositions himself will tell us something about his character and mood. Give the audience something to connect with.

Cheers
JD