Edward Seager - Dog - Critique

​Yeah, that 210 body reaction is too fast (good eye).

And I'm not really feeling the end of the dog, sorry. Hmm... And given how much he exits frame at 218, I would move the camera screen right as the guy kneels down, so that the framing is more leaning towards the right overall. So on x218, the guy wouldn't be in the center, but one body width screen left (hope that makes sense).

For the dog, what if after the 360 he gets back to something like x187, but butt on the floor, wagging his tail, mouth open, tongue out, panting, happy face?

Let's go note by note:

shot1

- dog is done! Nice job!

​ - guy head rotation needs more pushing, so that on x26 he's less 3/4 with his face towards us, more more profile, to really break up the head from the body; it still feels a bit too much like one unit

- not sure if that was there before (if yes, sorry for not seeing that earlier), but there's a head/body pop in the middle. Look at his screen left nostril as a reference point starting at x23. It goes up and left until x25, but from x25 to 26 barely left and even less up, from 26 to 27 not left at all but only up and much bigger than from 25 to 26; 27 to 28 goes left again, yet 28 to 29 suddenly to the right; 30 to 31 it's not going up at all anymore but only down after that until x33 and from 33 to 34 it barely goes down anymore. So all that in real time gives it a poppy feel

- that's it!

shot2

-his left arm seems to move down and the wrist rotates up from around x57 on but comes to an abrupt one frame halt on x66, that needs some softening

- watch out for the screen left forearm, it starts to evenly rotate clockwise from x144 on until x169. Either give that more purposeful movement (so it's not so even and robotic) or take it out

- on "hat" the eyebrows still feel too high, I would lessen that by 50% again

- good job on the rest of the notes!

shot3

- I don't see the jaw out on "you"

- from x222 on the head and body are too in synce and moving as one unit, loosen that up by breaking up the head anim

- on x205, watch out for angular shapes like on the dog's front right paw. There should be an ankle adjust controller, so that you can smooth out that line so it doesn't look so broken

- the guy bringing down his arms with the hat looks better, but I would slow it down at the end. It's good how it ramps up, but then go slow again, otherwise it feels like he's slamming the hat onto the dog. :)

- nice job on the ankle ambient movement, that's great polish stuff!!

Getting better and better, good work!

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique

Let's go shot by shot:

Shot1

-the dog is 99% done. Last thing I would do during his scratching, is to have the screen right brow a bit lower, and the eye a bit squinty

- for the guy, some picky stuff: his left hand/arm goes screen left until x37 and then it moves to the right over one frame; keep it going to the left

- I would rotate his head a bit from x24 on so that it gets to x38 a bit earlier. Right now the head and chest move together too much and it would be great to loosen it up a bit more. So if you move the head a bit earlier it will break up the movement a bit more.

- the screen left elbow is a bit hiccup-y. Look at how the elbow tip goes from left to right until x24, then it kinda stays put for a frame, then to x26 it goes to the right again, then it stops again at x29 until 31, then it goes to the right again, then stops again. So track that tip for smooth spacing

Shot2

- his left arm goes up until x49, then back down on 50. Those one frame direction changes are too harsh, smooth that part out.

- x39 to 40 his hat arm goes down quite a bit, then 40 t0 41 is small, 41 to 42 is small, etc. etc. So that first frame is a bit too big and feels like a pop. You can have the arm at x40 a bit higher, at x41 a tiny bit higher, so that the transition is a bit smoother.

- on "saw", around x86, I would accent that word with bringing up the eyebrows a bit

- around "hat' I would bring the eyebrows lower by half so that it's a bit more quiet before they go up again at the end of this shot

Shot3

- on "you", you could bring out the jaw and mouth shape for "oo" more for a bigger silhouette change

- when the dog jumps off to his right, I would keep the paws on the ground a tiny bit longer, so that you show how he pushes himself to the right a bit more

- the ending look and wiggle with the butt feels a bit off. The pose and silhouette feels muddled. You could have it more profile so that there is a clearer view on the body and legs.

- the guy's movement of how he puts the arms down with the hat feels a bit even in timing, a bit too robotic

- watch out how the body stops going screen right at x236

- when the dog jumps the guy doesn't really react to it. Around x209 it would be good to have at least the head follow the dog's path

- detail thing: his right foot, the part sticking out right above the frame is totally locked once he kneels down. Would be good to get some ambient movement on it

Hope that helps!
JD