Richie Prado - Note - Critique

The clip is much better and the addition of having him turning the piece of
paper around works really well, nicely done!

One last thing that sticks out to me is his upper body area starting around x51.
It moves screen right until x55 and then stops very suddenly, as if it's hitting
a wall. After that you have it drop very quickly from x59 to 61 and you can see
how the head is not moving screen left anymore either until around x66. It looks
like the whole body is pivoting through the head, since it's stuck there in
space.

I would definitely work on that area a bit more before moving on. Almost there!

Cheers
JD

Akem Singh - Bouncing balls - Critique

Looks great! Now I'm just being super picky:

- the last hop around x96 feels like it's traveling too far (z translation). The
height of the bounce is fine, but the length of it could be shorter.
- the ball comes to an end around x226 but it's a bit too abrupt. I would make
it roll out a bit longer, maybe 10 frames or so.

The medium/heavy/light one looks great too! Only the last ball should have one
more little bounce at the end. I feel like there is still enough momentum for
that there.

Nice improvement!!

Cheers
JD

Akem Singh - Bouncing balls - Critique

Nice widescreen btw. but not really needed for that clip. :)

About the different balls, let's start with the heavy one:

The first bounce up is a bit high, taking away from the bowling ball feel. You could just cut out that part and continue with the little bounces, so the frames would be something like x110 and then x119 and on.

The left and far right balls feel very similar. Even though the left one is a bit slower, I miss the clear distinction between a basketball type of weight and a balloon type of weight on the other one, which would really show the difference between a medium and light ball.

I would replace the far right one with a balloon type of ball and keep working on the left one. Speed wise it would be a mix between the two. The left one is a tiny bit too slow, the right one a bit too fast. Exaggerate the hang time a bit more by adding a frame or two at the top and give it a clear acceleration when it falls. You should also add about two more bounces at the end. The last bounce's height is too high to be the last one. There is still enough energy and momentum in the fall to settle and bounce a bit longer.

Hope that helps!
Cheers

JD

Aziz Kocanaogullari - Radio - Feedback

I like what you have in your clip right now. They way she behaves and does little detail things is great. Especially how she stops the swinging bat.

What I would do to push things and to bring in more contrast is when he swings in, have him TAKE the mic away. A total huge broad swipe and snatch away and then he keeps it in his hands, manhandling it, so he is the total ass and then she looks him and steadies the bat for continuing contrast between him and her. Right now the guy feels a bit timid and it's not that much of a big deal that said boo.

That was my initial reaction, but Aziz offered this explanation:

> About him taking the mike away, I actually tried doing that, but it's too > busy and doesn't help the eye direction at all. Once he does that, all the > attention goes to him and stays on him where I want to show the girls > reaction too. Also, I think that move would make him more of a jerk like > character rather then this care-free character I'm going for. I don't want > him to be annoying in the sense that he's trying to be annoying. He just > doesn't care about the whole thing so much by menas of process, getting > ready for the show. He just does what comes naturally to him where as the > girl is full on prepared. I think if I make him take the mic away, that'll > just come across as an ass like you said but like on purpose, as if he's > trying to be an ass. I don't know, could i explain myself? > > You know, I just want people to think he's annoying through the way he > laughs and reacts, not by actually trying to make him be annoying. Oh man, > I suck at explaining things on writing. > > You think the contrast in the shot is still not enough?

So I thought:

Ah I see, yeah, he would be a deliberate ass. But if you want him to be more casual, then it's okay and doesn't need more contrast. And you're explaining yourself just fine.

But what do you guys think? You could push it further, but that changes the tone.

Joseph Taylor - Red Light Guy 2 - Critique

Before going in depth, I'd work on a few broader things though first which caught my attention.

It's coming along very nicely, but what's not quite working for me is:


From the beginning on the poses are nice and dynamic and the transitions between them fun, but then you go into the pose on x288, which is a bit weak compared to the rest and given the nature and objective of the character. That frame could be him making coffee, adjusting a big screen tv, etc. etc.

You then also keep the arm and hand pose while moving towards x302, and since the pose is not as expressive as it could be, that section feels weak as well.

On x310 you just finished going down and on x311 he's already up. I would add maybe one frame (or maybe two?) of at least the head pushing up and maybe on the second frame a hint in the body and then explode into the 311 pose. Right now it's a tiny bit poppy.

Something that doesn't work for either is the section from x321 to the end. We were dealing with a 3D CG character before, with a certain amount of mass but at the end he's moving a like a 2D character with super bendy legs and stretchy head (x328). It's pushed a bit too far for my taste given the 3D environment and style.

What do you guys think?

That's it though, looks great otherwise!


Cheers
JD

Richie Prado - Note - Critique

Hey,

I don't think you need that sound, it's not vital to the story and it's just an added thing, it's not really necessary. Unless you're playing with the fact that this is a gate at an airport, but again, it's not really needed.

The animation works better, you're on the right track! One thing though, it would be good to tweak the part around x190. I thought I mentioned it before but I can't find it in the notes, so I apologize for that. It's just an idea, but I think it would add a clearer beat.
So, when he looks at the note again, around x199, what do you think about having him turn the piece of paper around, so that he sees that the #9 was actually a six.

What do you guys think?

Anim wise what's standing out a bit right now is the moment around x128 where he crumbles the paper. How the arms go together and his body rotates down feels a tad too fast.
And you could speed up the run after x255 a tiny bit, for a nice zippy exit. Although that one is not a deal breaker.
And before that actually, around x55, when he looks up but the body slumps down, that pose change is also a bit too fast and it looks like the head stays in place and only the body changes, it's a weird pivot moment there from x60 to 64. And the body drop from x79 over two frames is also a bit too fast. All you need to do is add two or three frames to the overall move and cushion/ease into that new pose.
Same goes for x145 to 148, that body side move, it hits a wall spacing wise at x148. Look at the line the left side forms down to the leg at x147, then 148, see how much it moves screen left? Then go one frame further. Now it doesn't move to the right anymore at all. It's a sudden stop and you need to ease into that as well. Think about the mechanics and the momentum of weight shifts. By moving the whole body so quickly, it needs to settle over a few frames.

Almost there!

Cheers
JD

Aditi Bhandari - Nut - Critique

I like the setup of that clip. I would just make the bartender a tiny bit more visible, so that the guy's hat is not right in front of it.
The main guy is great, I like where he looks, I like his actions too. A few things I'm not too sure about. When he throws the peanut into his mouth, the dialogue continues with no interruption. I don't really hear a little pause or that he would open his mouth a bit wider. And the drinking has to be pretty quick because you need to give him time to swallow before he laughs. The laugh is very clear, it's not like he just drank something, so the audio won't help you there. But I love love love the look up to the guys when he goes "yeah" around x233, that's a great moment!