Ji-Hong Kim - Bee - Critique

Let's get to the shot!

- on x830 to 831 both arms move down at the same time; don't forget to always offset them so that nothing moves in sync, even if the offset is only a frame or two

- ok, this one is not picky; watch out that you have arcs in his arm movements:

- I would put the bee a bit more screen left so that it's not overlapping with the stick:

- here we have the arc issue again:

- the elbow pops out from x901 to 902:

- from x905 to 906 and on, the whole body moves at the same time, and stops pretty much at the same time on x909; the main move should originate in the root, dip down for the anticipation (which you have), but then be the main driver and have the arms drag more; so delay their movements and keep those arcs going, both on the root (I'm tracking the his bowtie) and his arms:

As a whole, the shot looks good, you just have to make sure to get those arcs in (seems to be the main thread of this critique). But I've mentioned the arc issue on previous shots as well, so for future shots, I'd really make sure that you go through a list of things that each shot has to have (correct spacing, no pops; arcs; clean silhouette; etc.)

Hope this helps!
JD

Yuri Perrini - Suitcase - Critique

The shot is coming along really nicely! Don't worry about your workspeed, you're doing great and it's important to have the foundation and poses right!

I like how you incorporated your reference into your anim at the end, the timing and poses work very well!

I would concentrate on finishing it up, so that the whole thing is blocked out and then I'd spline it, so you can see what's really going on timing wise.

Here my thoughts on some of the poses of what you have so far:

- At the beginning, I would move the ticket holding arm a bit more screen left, so that the ticket is sticking out a bit more to the left and so that you have more negative space between the upper arm and his chest.

- same thing when he looks down, I'm move both arms out more, so that the silhouette is cleaner and the hands don't overlap so much with the body.

- when he's pulling the suitcase up, it moves straight up, but if you look at the angle of his arms, the suitcase would rotate towards him a bit and get pulled up and back more

- when the handle breaks off, I would have it rotate more to the left, so that the handle is not overlapping with the body; and by doing that you will see more of the bent arm for a cleaner silhouette; right the we can't really see the elbow, so if you do the squinty test the SL arm looks more like a stump :)

But that's it! Keep going so that we can see it all blocked out, then spline it and we will fine tune the timing! Looking great though!

JD

Elena Dae - Wolf - Video Critique

Watch the video review here.

Arthurnal - Obstacle Course - Critique

Hey,

so you're saying you did this shot in three days??? Holy moly, that's awesome!

Here my thoughts:

- I need a frame counter in it :)
(will use quicktime frame counter)
=> it feels like the camera is a bit too close up until x72:
- the guy is hugging the frame too much at the beginning:

- same thing around x35

- and then later around x51

It's okay to missframe so that the it looks like the camera guy has a hard time finding the character, but in your case your character is consistently hugging the top frame, so that you want to yell at the camera guy: "Frame up!!". So you either frame up to follow the guy more or you pull the camera way so that there is more head room.

- anim wise I feel like the drop around x24 could use two more frames, it feels a bit fast

- same with the up on around x31, I'd add two frames as well during that move

- I'd add a frame or two at x113, when he jumps up; from the antic to the jump you have a linear key, which makes that jump a bit poppy at the beginning, so ease out of that antic more

- same during the last swing around x151, I'd add a frame or two as well, it's just suddenly zippy in that section

- and one more frame after at x175 after he slides down; he slides and then pops into his roll, but at x175 he could be closer to the wall with that added frame. If you really want to keep this and the zippiness, I would at least rotate his chest and head back on x175, so that it feels like the feet are stop the slide and the body snap forward because of that, but it's just the lower body and the chest and head drag for a little bit before he dives into his roll

Once okay to be zippy and fast, but there are section where the body movement is finishing an action through physics (like the first hop around x23), so when a character is supposed to land, but it looks like he's being pulled down because he's so fast, then it feels weird (at least to me). It's as if some outside force helped him with that movement.

But overall it's a great clip with a lot of cool moments and ideas.

JD

Yuri Perrini - Pantomime - Critique

Ok, now, your clip, which is cute! I really like how he moves closes after x100. :)

Is this an exercise, for a reel, for a teacher, etc.? Would be good to know a bit of history to your shot, just in case. It helps me focus on specific areas for the critique.

As of now, here my 2 cents:
- since he has such a huge head, it's important to not move it too quickly, or stop it quickly, otherwise the sense of mass and weight will be gone. At the same time you don't want the head to be floaty.
So at very beginning he tilts his head over to x8 and then stops. It would be good to soften that stop a tiny bit with a moving hold. But it's fine line, you don't want it to be a drift, like from x36 to 50, where it feels like the head is slowly dropping. Same during the head turns until x87, the head is a bit loose after each turn, which makes it look spliney.
Also, watch out for sudden moves and spacing changes. If you flip back and forth between x111 and 112 and track his nose, you see how far up he goes. But flip between 112 and 113 and you'll see no up rotation, it's all sideways. Then from x113 to 114 the head suddenly goes down. Moments like that really take away from the weight of the head, plus your arcs are very flat that way (red) instead of round (green):

The finger wiggling moment after x129 feels a tiny bit too adult (like some evil mastermind), and not what a little kid would do, but that might just be me. Action wise, he moves forward, then the whole body stops and he does his finger wiggle and then goes for the box. It feels very separate and more like you hit that moment, then set random keys for the fingers, and then you continue. It would be great to have that moment more focused. He moves forward, does one little wiggle, then goes into a fist and brings his hands a bit closer to the body for more of an anticipation.

Then, when he puts his hands on the box, it looks more like a move, just motion, maybe constraining hands to the lid? It would be great to get more emotion out of that move. Is he trying to be delicate? Is he shy? Is he determined?

When that thing comes out of the box, I would actually have the head tilted the other way, and the thing come up a bit a straight. Reason being, right now the lid and the purple thing are covering his face, and you don't want to break eye contact with your character. Plus with this surprise, we, as the audience, want to know what the kid's reaction is, but we can't always see it because his face is covered.

Once he gets scared and turns around, the same happens spacing wise with his head. Quick moves, quick stops, etc. that take away from the weight and mass of the head.

The run at the end could have a bigger translation, meaning, he's really leaning forward, yet the amount of distance he covers is small. He looks like he's running really fast, but he doesn't get that far. :)

These are the main elements I would tweak for now. I hope the notes make sense. :)

JD

Yuri Perrini - Suitcase - Critique

Hey,

that's a great first pass, you did a good job incorporating the reference into your poses.

Regarding your ending: I like the "breaking the handle" because it adds even more frustration to his already stressful situation! :)

There are some areas here and there that I would tweak for your next pass.

- timing wise: the "looking at the watch" transition to his reaction is too fast. It's very poppy and we need to be able to ready this moment:

- how the suitcase falls over to the left needs to be sold more. Right now it just happens, without any clear indication as to why; in your reference you take your foot off the lower part of the suitcase; so something similar would be good; or his knee bumps into it before he can grab it, etc.

- I think you can slow down the first pull from x166 on, so that it gives the suitcase more weight

 - when he kicks the suitcase, I'd stick to the reference a bit more in terms of balance; when you did it, it was more about trying to make the suitcase pivot over, but you weren't leaning all the way back in order to pull the suitcase; in your anim it doesn't look like he's trying to to make the suitcase pivot over enough, mainly because your kicks are very similar, so it feels more like a frustrated kick; in your reference you change position when you start kicking the second time, which brings nice contrast to the poses

- watch out for the last lift; your anim guy is too far back and the suitcase would have to move towards him due to the center of gravity (unless he has REALLY strong arms, which would be able to lift a super heavy suitcase straight up); in your ref your body is much closer to the suitcase:

whereas in your anim it looks like this:

If you look at your arms, the suitcase would have to move along the lines of the arms and not straight up.

I would work on those main areas first, but again, great first pass!!

Hope this helps!

And remind me, sorry, is it okay to post this online?

Cheers
JD

Arthurnal - Cockroach - Critique

Hahahahaha, awesome change during the chair rotation! Love it! That pose is much more in character!

Alright, here my thoughts for the rest of the shot:

- the beats of him looking at his phone and then the cockroach work a lot better, it's much clearer now
- the head stretch at x20 is still too big, plus it's stretching in the wrong direction; with your current shape, he would be going down, but since he's going back, the head would stretch/drag horizontally, not vertically:

Either way, I would reduce that stretch by 30% and have it go along the red arrow
- I'd reduce the head stretch on x31 and 32 by 30% as well
- same stretching direction problem on x131; he's moving forward (horizontally), yet the stretch is vertical:

- I'd reduce the head stretch on x165 by 15% and the one on x245 by 30%
- when he goes forward from x142 to x154, the SL finger pose is the same; I'd start with what you have, but end up on x154 with the fingers flat, so that it looks like he's really stretching forward to grab the phone

- lastly, watch out for the SL hand spacing when it goes off the chair; on x99 it's on the chair, on x100 it's very far off, then from x100 to 101 it sticks in space (IK), then on x102 it goes back SR, and only then you have uninterrupted spacing, so ease out of that x99 pose more

Nice improvements, great job!!

JD