Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Critique

​Hey,

I'm still not convinced that he should be searching for that card. It's the facial pose with his eyes up as he's finger searching for the card. He's been using the cards for a while now, since he's been building this. So he knows where the cards are. Right now it looks as if he'd be in a dark room trying to find the card. I would have him stare at the construction because he's so into it, so focused and concentrated. He then taps to find the card, but have maybe two little taps, he's reaching for the card without taking his eyes of his masterpiece, the hand lands once, card not quite there, he lifts hand again for one adjustment, it lands on the card and then he grabs it. What do you think? It seems that if we play his concentration and obsession with his card house then the fall at the end will feel that much worse for him and the audience.

I like how delicate he is now when he puts the cards on. I think you could bring up his body and head a bit more so that there is a clearer silhouette (the edge of the face is right behind the cards). And when he takes his arms back it feels a bit spliney and without purpose. I see what you're going for with the fingers, but I'd act it out a couple times and film it so you can see the timing for it.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Critique

​Hey,

coming along!

Let's look at the running guy first:

- Make sure that his feet are not sliding. For instance on the first step at x205, flip back and forth between 205 to 210 and you'll see how the foot slides forward and then back again. The same happens during the next step. You will have to either adjust your cycle or go in there frame by frame and make sure that the feet are locked on the ground.

- Continue with the breakdowns for the rest of the run

Card guy:

- I would tone down the head turn as he looks to the cards to the ground a tiny bit and the same goes with the reaction. Watching it now it feels like he's super surprised and excited that he found the card. Shouldn't he know that the card is there? I think that section is a bit over the top.

- once he puts the last cards on top you could vary the timing a bit in his arms, they look a bit floaty as they go up

- the fingers during the last positioning of the cards are a bit crude, I think you could have more delicate poses, for instance holding the cards with two fingers only, or something a bit more in the direction that he's very concentrated and precise with that last move.

- watch your eyeline when he puts the last cards together; looks like he's looking above the cards away into the distance; lower the eyes a bit

- the head turn at the end feels a bit soft and it looks like he's looking ahead of the guy running at the end

- the kid's reaction feels a bit simple after the guy runs by. He looks at the runner, then at the cards and when the cards fall his reaction doesn't really change that much. I would push that section more so we can see a bit more thought behind it. He could look back at the cards in fear, then relax because the cards didn't fall down, but then they fall down and he's really shocked and then closes his eyes in anger and frustration, something like that; I think the current disappointed body slump is not enough of a reaction

I'd work on these beats first. Keep going!

Cheers

JD

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feeback

This new version works much better, compare it to the older one here and you'll see how the beginning is much clearer.

I would just have the running guy zip out at the end and not slow down.

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Cards - Feedback

Cool, that gives us a good idea of what's going on!

What is the kid doing with his cards at the beginning? He takes a big swing at something? If he's picking up a card then I would change that gesture. Something that big and fast could make the cards fall and you'd think that the kid is very careful about his creation and doesn't want anything to break.
I would put the cards more screen left so that they are clearly visible.


With the cards on the left the kid should pick them up very delicately and since the cards are screen left the silhouette of the kid's arm/hand/fingers will be nice and clear.

What's tricky with a walk/run cycle is that the speed is constant when you have him move around. If you'd have him slow at the beginning and speed up towards the end the feet would slide. But that's what I would suggest for the background guy. If possible, try to add rhythm and contrast to his movements, so that he isn't just running by with even timing step wise. Hope that makes sense.

Cheers
JD

Alex Ferreira Simoes - Bouncing ball - Critique

The ball looks great, there are only minor areas that I think would need tweaking. When the rotating platform in the middle goes down the spacing goes from bigger to a lot smaller over one frame, from x60 to x61 it's still big, then from x61 to x62 it's small. I'd make that transition a bit more gradual.
When the ball gets off the platform on x80 to x81 I was a bit confused. At first I thought the platform is spinning/shooting him away, but then the rotation was going the wrong way. Framing through it I realized that it is the ball that jumps out. That part didn't read too well for me. Either have the platform shoot him out like that, but still reduce the spacing from x80 to x81, which seems almost poppy, or telegraph the idea of the ball jumping out more clearly by adding a bigger anticipation. It could squash a bit more and do a little swing to the left and then jump out.
The hangtime around the x112 area is a bit too much. The ball rolls up pretty quickly and then quickly slows down and hangs for a long time. Given how realistic the other parts are this is really standing out. You can exaggerate the hang time, but this is pretty close to Matrix bullet time. :)
The last bounces feel a bit soft. It looks like your squashing the ball on x149 while still having a gap between the ball and the platform. And the last bounce on x152 could be lower and a bit faster. Overall the ball could also move a bit screen right, since there is Left to Right momentum with that last big bounce with the long hangtime. It feels a bit off to see the ball have such a big arc and then during the last bounces it's just a straight up and down in Y.

That's all! Nice turnaround!

Cheers
JD