Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

Love love love how he pushes the guy over with his foot after x1513 and the pause after he closes the door and the sigh. That part is just gold, LOVE IT! Nicely done!

I agree with your notes and I would tweak just a few little sections:

- I would push the clear silhouette and separation of the characters after x1075, when the blue guy stumbles to the left. He kinda leans back and just lifts his left foot up and then puts it back down. You could bring that foot a bit more screen left on the down so by the time we hit x1095, the key is not in front of the red guy's chest but visually in front of the car, separated from the red guy (kinda where he's at x1099).
- the first lift still feels a bit abrupt when it stops. So when he starts around x1277 and stops around x1248, I would ease more into that stop
- watch out for the blue guy's right hand after x1300 to 1320. There are still a few intersecting moments between the hand and the red guy
- looking at the 2nd shot, you could have the blue guy's legs a bit more vertical. At x1434 for instance, the don't look like they're just dangling, they're angle down to the right
- you can push the sideways tilt of the feet when they take steps; so on the red guy for instance, from x1052, when the right foot takes a step it just goes up and down and to the right. But two frames before it gets off the ground, the foot can tilt sideways first. Feet also don't have to plant horizontally, they can be tilted as well. It just eliminates default rotations at 0. So comb through the clip and push it a bit more. It also counts for foot rolls. Like on x1485, when the right foot of the red guy is almost off the ground, you see how the leg is leaning to the left, you can continue that line and tilt the foot to the left a bit, so you can feel how the weight shift affects the feet/ankles as well.
- last thing, I would loosen up the blue guy's head from x1296 to 1302. It looks like he's awake again and looking up. If that's the intention, then ok, but I thought at that point he's passed out. So around x1299 I would tilt the head to his left down and keep it dangling and not so straight up

Really enjoy seeing how far those shots have come along! Great job!

Cheers
JD

Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

This looks really great!

All the actions are in place, I like your 2nd camera, it's all coming together. I only have to broader comments about the ending. One, after he throws up onto the chair, the blue guy's legs are limping over the chair, but sideways towards us, and then the red guy closes the door on him. Normally, there wouldn't be space for legs to be on the side and it's almost painful to see him close the door. His legs are going to be squished! It might just be me. What do you think about the red guy grabbing the blue guy's ankles and lifting the leg up and back, so that the feet rest on the chair, beforfe he closes the door?

- The other thing is the overall timing of the red guy at the end. The dip from x1530 to around x1545 feels a bit fast. I think you could slow it down and make it a bit more "exhausted + sad", someting where it's more of a sigh. You could also just slow this whole action down by 30%, then after x1550, you add a sigh, with shoulders going up and down and a little bit of chest movement. It just feels rushed at the end and I think it's ok to give it a longer beat.

- Anim wise, here my thoughts:

- I should have mentioned that earlier, sorry, but the blue guy on x983, at the very beginning, since he's staying in that pose for a beat, should have his key-holding-arm out screen right, in a free silhouette, so that we can see the key. Unless you move it even more screen left, so it's between his left arm and the left line of his body, as if he's trying to shield the key away from the red guy. Anything you can do for a clearer hand/key silhouette at the beginning.

- Some overall anim notes for polish and for pushing the anim a bit: every time the blue guy leans over to one side, like on x1003, you can tilt the weight bearing foot sideways as well, so his right foot on that frame. That way they are not so stuck IK-ish to the ground and it will make him feel looser as well. Same goes for the red guy. For instance, x1068, as he's leaning over to the right and ready to jump off, from x1066 to 1069 the foot can roll/tilt to the right, so it's a sideways roll off, and not just a regular foot roll. This means a lot of frame by frame work, but it's good when the feet feel more ankered and influenced by the ankle and the root weight shifts.

- I'm not sure if this rig has shoulder controls, but it would be neat to loosen up the shoulders and push the poses with them. Like on x1061, the red guy, as he lifts his arms, it could have the shoulders higher, so it feels more tense. Same on x1085, pushed against the car, the shoulders could be up and back. So overall, involve the shoulders a bit more if possible.

- Watch out for the silhouette on the red guy on x1110. I would bring the hand more screen left so it's not covering his face.

- Watch out for blue-guy-hand intersections from x1309 to 1322, as he's being lifted up.

- I would slow down the lift up a little bit from x1363 to 1368 and not have it stop so quickly either. Right now it goes up quickly and almost comes to a halt for a few frames. It gives it too much of a blocky and jerky feel. Smoothing out that transition would be good.

- The last bounce of the blue guy after he falls could be a bit looser and a tad slower. Look at his foot going up and down, changing direction at x1120. That feels like a linear key. Give it enough hang time. And on the impact at x1123, it could roll off after the impact, not just hit and stop. It will help loosening the whole thing.

- Could you move his hand a bit towards us, so that the hand is in a clear silhouette?

- I would also slow down the arm that he lifts up a tiny bit and extend the hang time a bit. After the drop, it's his last bit of energy he has. If you make it too fast, then it feels like he has enough energy to get up again.

- Watch out for IK-moments, like the right wrist on the red guy at x1457 to 1466. His body goes to the left and the arm is moving, so that would have some movement in the wrist as well. You have it right after that, but I would just have it from the beginning, just super small and ramping up into what you have. As long as you keep the fingers locked, it won't look as if the hand is sliding.

- Speaking of hands, you can also loosen up the fingers of the blue guy. Like on x1466, bring down his right thumb and don't spread out the fingers. Keep the loose and dead, just hanging down, following gravity.

OK, hope that helps! It's really nice work overall!

Cheers
JD

Richard Clark - Drunk - Feedback

Hey,

that's cool to see!

Here's a little note that's not a dealbreaker but for future clips something to think about. In your first shot you're establishing that they are going from screen right to screen left. So in your second shot, you're breaking the 180 degree camera rule, by having them go from screen left to screen right. It's not confusing most of the times and people break that rule all the time in movies nowadays, but there are moments where you can't do it because the audience will be confused.

The second shot feels a bit long though. It's too bad that he doesn't get the keys into the door in the first shot and when he falls over he pulls the door open. Because that way, in the second shot, around x1373, the door would open and the red could throw him right into the car. Now, has to take little steps to the car, then open the door, then take little steps around the door and put him in there. That whole section is just too long and drags a bit rhythm wise.
Plus technically, he puts him into the driver seat, so why try to stop him in the first shot? He should throw him onto the passenger seat and then get into the driver seat to drive him home.
Another little detail. With that guy being so passed out, I doubt he would hold on to the keys. The red guy could take them and put them into this mouth since he has both hands full.

Time wise, you can also cheat and have the blue guy closer to the car in the second shot. The audience won't notice and the red guy will have to take fewer steps, which will speed up that shot.

What do you think?
JD

Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

Hey,

that's great, nice tweaks, I like how it's all coming together!

A few general comments first:

- make sure that the silhouette is clear, so for instance, at the beginning, the blue guy's hand is a bit lost in front of his body at x983, plus the key tip almost touches his left hand; x1007 on the other hand is nice and clear; around x1066, the key is kinda hidden, lost between the car edges of the back, plus the hand forms a tangent with another line of the car. I would lower the hand a bit so the hand is in front of the lighter car shape above the back tire (see image). Same around x1092, the key is overlapping with the red body and I would keep that clearer as well. Another one would be around x1130, where you could separate the legs and non-key arm a bit. The head/arm/body parts feel lumped together visually. Last one would be when he raises the key. The only clear part is the hand and the key, but the rest of the arm disappears in front of the body. It doesn't help that the whole character is blue. But you could tweak the pose so that the arm shape is clearer.
- red guy silhouette on x963 could be clearer for his arms. His right wrist gets lost in front of the left arm

From a technical point of view:

- it feels like the blue guy has IK arms; make sure that there isn't too much body/elbow movement while the wrist stays still. You will also want to make sure that there are arcs in your arm movements. Since it's not FK, IK arms tend to move around in a linear way. Good example would be when the blue guy raises his arm with the key at the end. It basically goes just straight up. The timing is also even. You will want to put a bit more character in that arm movement. Is he defeated when he brings that arm up? Is he doing it quickly to signal "Hurry! I need to get home!" Etc.
- I think the red guy hits the car a bit strongly at x1080; is that the intention, that he really jumps in front of the blue guy? If yes, then the body stops a bit too quickly, I would soften it a bit, add a bit more recovery with maybe a little step and arms sliding on the car for the right balance

Other than that, the timing is great and the ideas are clear. As you mentioned, it's a first pass, so for your next pass, add more breakdowns and really finish the timing of each movement. As you go into splined keys, make sure that there are no sudden pops in your animation, which means your spacing is solid without sudden speed changes or stops.

Can't wait to see the ending!

Cheers
JD