Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Raluca Feresteanu - Dragon - Critique


video

Hi,

here my notes:

- there's a sudden slow down in its forward path after the wing flap; yes the flap would slow it down, but the transition would be smoother:


- same thing when it slips and falls down; the root has a sudden drop but that feels more like it's being pulled down than gravity:


- the crawl up feels too even and the movements could be more complex; a frantic scramble with feet slipping would have a nice feeling and good contrast in timing:


- finish the arc you start; dragon pushes off but then suddenly moves down, resulting in a weird and flattened arc:


- the landing is too soft; the flaps are not big and fast enough to really slow down the descent; looking at the drawing, your Y curve flattens out too much and with the current flaps, your curve should more like the curve on the right; a good mix inbetween with stronger and faster flaps (and more of them) would be the ideal solution:


Hope this helps!
JD

Friday, March 1, 2013

Ji-Hong Kim - Bee - Critique

Hey,

here my thoughts:

First shot:
- you're not quite framing the way I suggested it, which leads the staging to a weird focus to the middle of the gray background. You'd have to pan the camera to the right and tilt up a bit, so that we are clearly following the bee (maybe you have to extend the shot a bit so that you have two clear beats of showing the environment and the conductor and then the bee enters and we are following it):


 2nd shot:
- the feet feel very simple and more in layout stage from x47 to 79. They can change poses during the flight and then adjust to get ready for the landing.
- the landing feels too simple; I know bees are light and there wouldn't be a crazy compression, but some leg adjustments and tiny steps will help; it will also help to get out of that default shape where right now on x79 all legs are evenly spaced

3rd shot:
- good

4th shot:
- given that we just zoomed in, you'd think that the bee is reacting immediately to the discovery of the flower: that's what the zoom in does; right now you're emphasizing the flower but cut to a bee that is still looking around and then suddenly seeing something. You can rearrange the shots though to make it clearer.

So the top clip is the original and I just took the flower close-up and inserted it into the bee close-up, between the looking-around and realizing-what's-there moment.

video
video
 
- bee face wise, the mouth shape, wings and head feelers are a bit even and they could be more asymmetrical, don't mirror the poses:

5th shot:
- it's overall pretty great, the only tweak would be when it gets up until around x324. The orientation of the bee body is always the same. There is a sideways tilt at the end, but given the perspective and axis, we can barely tell. You could rotate it clockwise so that the head and chest go up a bit more:



Hope this helps!

Cheers
JD


Friday, February 1, 2013

Sarah Knight - Ice - Video Critique

video

Overall you're in a really good spot. Two things:

I'd tighten up the hand pose at the beginning, holding her arm, so that it's more of a tighter grip and not so lose. It will reinforce the cold feeling:


And the only other thing is her chest and head movement from x338 on when she gets back up, until 369. It feels like an old lady with super tight bones is getting up and the stiff joints brake and pop. :)

Watch the video review for that section here.