Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hyunah Ko - Lady - Critique


stuck02


IP10

(This is in response to which version I prefer.)


Funny enough, I like them both, but specific parts and would mix them. I know that sounds complicated and not sure if that's helping you. What I like about "stuck02" is the amount of rotation and overlap the body has after she's being stuck. In "stuck02" she goes pretty far down up to x54, whereas in "IP10" she doesn't go as far and stops a bit abruptly. So anim wise from a body mechanics point of view, "stuck02" feels better.

But what I prefer in "IP10" is her left arm from x51 to 74, because it's stiffer. She's surprised, a bit irritated, but tense, and that is reflected in that stiffer arm. In "stuck02", from x54 to 85, the arm is loose and dangling, and feels too out of control and animated. Too me it's not in character.
After that it's up to you. Neither versions are wrong, they are just different in terms of acting choices. In "stuck02" she looks back up to x100 in a slow way, which gives her a feel of "Hello? Uhm... anybody see that? Help me!". In "IP10" she goes up very fast to x93, which gives it a feel of "Oops! I hope no one saw that!", which is a bit more in character because she looks and moves like a confident business woman, so when she's in trouble, I think she would want to keep that strong and confident look, so she wouldn't look around for help, she would try to fix it herself. That strong personality is reflected in x182, how she puts her glasses back into the right place. Then at the end when the manhole cover comes out, that's what breaks her confidence and that's why she looks surprised and out of it at x240. It's good contrast and a change in her character, whereas in "stuck02", she already looks a bit helpless like that during the x91 area. So the ending in "stuck02" is a bit more of the same in terms of character and less of a contrast.

So basically, I would use "stuck02" until x56, then use the rest of "IP10". :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Lukas Niklaus - Wife - Critique



First off, it looks better and better. The main work at this point would be on the arms.

What you have in the hands until x76 is very cool. Nice and subtle.

After that it's mainly the screen right hand that feels too linear in its transitions. The screen left arm/hand is working very well until x254. From 254 to 273 the guy leans screen right, and the arm is moving a bit, but the fingers are totally locked. It would be good to get a little finger anim in there, reacting to the body shift. It continues to be great after that, but from x414, when the fingers go in for the fist, I would close the gap between the base section of the fingers. Right now they kind rotate in, using one axis, and it would be good to get a bit more contrast and complexity in that pose change and make it feel more like a fist, by having the fingers closer together and not so spread. And after that it's working well again, with great detail work when he brings his hand back in.
The screen right arm/hand starts to go up around x109 and it feels like the wrist is dragging as the arm goes up. It's subtle but I'm just not a big fan of wrist overlap during a move like that. It's not like he's tired. He is initiating that move, so the wrist would be more tense. The wrist then plops down at x124 and then freezes. It would be good to get a little two (maybe three) frame compression, where the wrist might tilt sideways and the fingers adjust to the weight.
Same thing when the wrist gets into the pose at x181. Even though there's some tiny movement in the index and thumb, the wrist feels very locked. So a little keep alive would help there.
It happens again after x205. You could leave it like that, but have a tiny bit of finger adjustment (middle finger could relax the most) when he looks up around x221.
The finger clenching at x362 to 380 feels to isolated in the fingers. There's not much wrist movement, but no forearm movement at all. I would just have something subtle, like you have it in the screen left hand/arm during the x274 to 287 area.
On the head drop after x399 and the big move after x428 and especially during the head up move around x458 could have some adjustment in the wrist and fingers, since such a big body part is moving around.

Lip sync wise, I still think that the area around x153, when he makes those sounds, should have it reflected at least in jaw movement, but also some mouth corners going out. First it's sort of a "yeh" and then it goes into a "ah". Right now the mouth area kinda glosses over that sound and to me there's a little disconnect there.

You mention the upper lids around x95. I agree that they are a bit floaty. To me the up movement is a bit slow. It's subtle though, and taking one (MAYBE two) frames out of there will help. Not a deal braker though.

That's about it though. Besides the hands, you're in full on polish mode and there's nothing that stand out as needing immediate fixing. At this point it's more about acting choices as opposed to technical issues, and I like the choices that you have. It's going to be a really cool shot!

JD

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Alessandro Chirico - Stand and Sit - Critique



That looks good!

The only two things that stood out after the first viewing were her pose at x26 (she's still looking really far down; I would reduce the upper body/chest rotation forward and lift the head up a bit) and her sit down impact at x92 (for here I would have two or three frames of her root going down; so on x92 have her a tiny bit higher, like she's barely touching the chair, then go down for two frames (and it's okay to intersect the chair a little bit)). Right now when she sits her root just stops moving over one frame and that's really abrupt. There is flesh and muscle on the butt, so when you sit it will squish a bit and soften the stop. You can also see how quickly things stop by tracking the screen right knee from x91 to 92 (moves screen left), then x92 to 93 (completely still). So even after the root stops, the knees can carry on the momentum and distribution of force (meaning, they can move in a bit screen left over 3 or 4 frames and then settle by moving back screen right over 4 or 5 frames. You will also have rotate the chest a TINY bit more forward after she sits down and rotate the head down a bit more. You have her head overlap after the sit which is good, but when you visually track the chin in 2D space, look how far down it moves from x91 to 92. Then look at x92 to 93 and you'll see that not only is the chin not moving down anymore, it's moving up (visually in 2D space). So that adds to the abrupt feeling of the stop. I hope that makes sense!


I would work on the root area first. The rest is coming along really well!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique




Hey,

this looks super cool! You're pretty much done! I only have little picky technical things to talk about. You did a really good job with it!

As always, let's go shot by shot.

Shot1

Tiny:
- watch out for his screen left hand, holding the upper jaw, it slides sideways, x8 to 12, stays locked, then slides from x14 to 15, stays, then slides out to x19, stays, then on the pull/push down x32 to 33 the fingers go through the teeth again, x37 to 38 as well, and from x49 to 51 the jaw moves without the hand/fingers being locked to it. Picky picky, but when you watch it in real time you get a feeling of softness still, so it's important to lock that down to get that feeling of grip and power
- the screen right head is going through the jaw/teeth as well, from x10 to 13
- the head should rotate sideways (not in Y) from x12 to 14; you slowed that whole body/head sideways move down and it's much better, but it still has a little feeling of abruptness when the head stops going screen right, you're 98% there!
- Love the little head shake/tension and jaw pose around x23 during the pull

Raptor:
- the arms go up at the same time from x45 on, offset them and overall bring them in, so it's more like that:



and less like that:



unless it looks exactly like that:



Shot2
- awesome

Shot3

Tiny:
- bring the tongue up on x70, so that it matches the end of shot 2
- awesome how he makes a fist around x105 before he pulls the arm away, great detail!

Raptor:
- watch the arc of the head after it pulls away from the arm, after x113; the path is very linear and could be more fleshed out arc wise, like this:



- same not on the arms as before, just bring them globally in more
- delay the down movement of the arms at x88 and on; right now, if you go from x88 to 90, the body, head and arms all go down together; lead with the head, then body and the arms drag the most
- watch out for the screen right arm from x112 on until around 125; it's moving to the left, then right, then sticks, etc. the spacing is off and it feels to linear
- on the last attack, after x128, bring arms together as per previous note, but drag them more so that on x132 the screen right arm is not so far screen right but more in front of the raptor's chest
- screen left shoulder seems too high, it goes up with the body right at the end of the shot; keep it down, it would drag more

Shot4

Tiny:
- his right arm, after the swing, still feels to weak, around x158 and changes direction in a linear way from x158 to 159; smooth out that stop and bring out the arm screen right, like the green drawing; in order to give it a cleaner silhouette, just move the dead dino screen right:



Raptor:
- tail is better, but watch out for some spacing issues; tail is curved up on x141 and moving down to x143, but from x143 to 144 is going up, then to 145 it's going down again; it changes direction on x146, so on x147 the tip could be curved to the right more so there's more drag; there's some wiggling and popping after x155 to 158 and from x165 to 180, then on the rise, from x183 to 184 it's not moving screen right enough to finish the momentum of that swing, so keep going screen right and don't change direction like on x185; so overall, do another pass on the tail in that area to smooth out the kinks

Shot5

Tiny:
- screen right elbow pops from x212 to 213
- screen right arm moves screen right with the punch until x219, but then just stays there and drifts down, with the fingers intersecting the ground around x228; finish that swing momentum and bring the arm back a bit, so it's not so dead after the punch
- watch the spacing of the screen left arm (tracking the pinky line); it moves screen left from x191 on until 196, then just goes up visually and not left anymore, then a little bit to the left on x198 and after that there's much bigger spacing over one frame; smooth out that pause
- on the way up, the punching arm goes up and to the right, changes direction and pretty much goes down the same path; give it more of an arc at the top so that the path of action is not so linear:



- after that arc, the arm suddenly moves a lot from x216 to 217;



- it's slower than what you had before, but still a TINY bit fast; I would bring the arm a bit more screen left at x217, and more screen right on x219; as you can see in the above pic, the spacing of the arm is very close at the end, but you need to give that huge punching momentum some room, the arm needs to overshoot
- right now, the punching wrist stays in the same pose/rotation from x229 to 235, but given the above note that you need to overshoot more, you might not have time to go back that far with the arm within the same frame range

Raptor:
- speaking of momentum, the upper leg on x192 needs to be lower; the body is being slammed down and the legs follow, but the body can't go anyway because there's the ground, so the body momentum gets stopped; the legs right now stop at the same time, but their momentum can and has to continue
- on x219 I would rotate the head to the right more; if you track the spacing of the head, it goes screen right and then suddenly down:



- same goes after the head hits the ground from x193 to 200 and x222 to the end; it feels a bit wiggly; smooth out the spacing; big weight like that head won't move that fast in a linear way, it takes away from the weight

Picky things, but I think some important tweaks for this shot and principles to think about for future shots as well.

Cheers
JD

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Alessandro Chirico - Stand and Sit - Critique



I'd be careful to not change camera angles too much. I like how this looks, but for future shots I'd lock down the camera early on because you will animate and adjust the poses of your character(s) depending on the camera (you might even cheat certain poses to camera). So once you change the perspective or height or whatever, you might have to adjust the animation. Just something to think about.

In terms of applying changes to a shot, that's a tricky one and to me all comes down to your workflow.
It can take a day to implement changes, or even longer, it all depends on the complexity of the shot. And practice helps a lot. If you would go back to this shot and implement the same changes a year from now, you'll find yourself being a lot faster.
It helps though to be organized in your blocking. I tend to key all the controllers for main poses every 5 frames or so in my first blocking. The timing might be off, but the poses are there. Then I adjust the keys, which is easy to do because it's all so clean and organized, until the timing feels right. You might have to adjust some poses for overlap and stuff like that, but I try to not put in new keys and instead fix the pose on the frame that I have the key set. Or if a pose needs to be on a certain frame, I key the whole character again, so that everything is organized.
So when it's time to show it to the client and there are changes, I can easily delete a whole section and it won't affect the anim or poses before and after that section. Once blocking has been approved, then I go in there controller by controller and fix things until it looks right and I'll end up with keys everywhere.
Sometimes you have to make changes again. That's a bit trickier and usually I try to adjust the poses again on the keys that I already have, with little tweaks here and there, or I set a key on all the controllers to set a certain range, so that I can delete all the keys between that range (and by setting keys on all the controllers, deleting a chunk out won't affect the anim before and after that range).

I hope this makes sense at all! :)

Your shot looks a lot better though! The only things that stood out to me in terms of bigger areas that I would tweak, are:
- I wouldn't bend her head down so low around x31. It looks like she's inspecting what's below the chair. :)
- I would delay her root movement screen right around x51, so that she's still leaning towards her right around x54; then she puts down her foot and leans over to her left with her root, until around x64
- her chest move out from around x62 to 68 feels to isolated; it just moves and stops at 68, then there's a little pause and then she sits down; if that's your anticipation, then I would delay it by 4 frames and reduce it by 50%.
- I like the impact at x88, I would just reduce the linear curve on her head down rotation a bit, so that the impact is a little bit softer and not have her head go down as far; and right now her head goes down and stops abruptly at x91 (track her nose tip), so make sure that your spacing and arcs are fully fleshed out
- the last chest rotation after x104 until 109 also feels too isolated and linear; smooth out the transitions and slow it down a tiny bit; you want it to be less pose to pose and a bit more organic
- watch out for your elbows, they seem to pop around a bit throughout the clip; especially the screen right one from x68 to 71; the arms feel a bit IK, like from x52 to 58 on the screen right arm (I'm tracking her wrist, how it's moving horizontally with no curve and arc)
- I would reduce the screen right wrist rotation in that last pose, so that around 95 until the end it doesn't look so broken (rotate it more like the screen left one, with the fingers following the thigh, but a bit less than the screen left one, otherwise it's too mirrored)

Alrighty, hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Lukas Niklaus - Wife - Critique



The eye darts changes are great, I like where you're going with this, it feels a lot more focused with separate emotional beats.
One thing I would try, is at the end, to take out all the eye darts after x469; or you take them out after that frame and only keep the last one, at the same moment, from x507 to x509. Right now I feel there are still too many darts there, which makes him look too "think-y". :)
The eye dart from x278 to 280 could also get cut. I'm curious what it would look like without. Right now the eyes move screen left while the head moves screen left as well, so that dart is a bit muddled because of that and gets a bit lost. So either cut it or try having it at 284, where the head is a bit more stable?
Your next eye pass is a subtle one. Whenever the eyes go up or down, doesn't matter how subtle the movement is, move the both lids up and down with it, but just a tiny bit. That way you will add some fleshiness to the eye balls. Some moments are a bit too fast so you will barely register, others you have it already, but you could push it a bit more, like from x219 to 220 it's a big eye dart, but the lids are pretty static. So just a little up on both lids will help.

Lipsync is heading in the right direction! There are some moments that felt a bit chatty and that could get simplified and some other areas that I would smooth out or push. Here my thoughts:

- the mouth corners expand and come to an abrupt stop at x10, ease more into that
- try to avoid one frame jaw movements, they end up being too harsh because there are no frames of softening, which give you sudden stops like from x42 to 43
- the "yeah" around x74 could get pushed in terms of size and asymmetry. You could open up the screen right corner a bit more and offset the height of both corners so that the shape doesn't feel so mirrored
- same symmetrical look is at x95 with both white areas of the teeth looking the same on the left and right side of the face.
- the mouth shape pops into a new pose over one frame from x95 to 96
- there could be a little jaw opening around x157 during his "jah" sound
- x202 to 203 the lip shape pops open (watch out for those 1 frame pops)
- the jaw looks like it's having a linear key and curve from x469 to 471

That's it!

Hope it helps!
JD

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique



Alrighty, it's looking better and better! Here my picky notes:


shot1:

last little things to look out for:

- dino horn is going through Tiny's chest

- Tiny's left foot is going through the dino

- Tiny's screen right rotation at x5 to 9 still feels too fast and needs more overlap on the head

- not sure if that's new or if didn't see that before, but dino's bottom screen right leg goes back and dies at x9; would be good to be a bit looser until around x19

- Raptor arms are still too stiff and too "parented" to the body

- Raptor tail is too stiff as it goes down; it feels like it's a wooden board attached to the Raptor body and following the same movement

Basically, with the tail, it's going to be a mix between pure overlap and follow through and just reacting to the body of the raptor, like your typical bouncing ball with a tail anim:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsKKGLRUqWw

and the tail being more active, where it whips around, being driven by the Raptor and the muscles:

Cameron's reel is a good example where the tail is a combination of both:

http://vimeo.com/2537742


shot2:

- Raptor arms too stiff, no anim on it


shot3:

- Raptor arms feel more alive, but make sure that when the body moves around quickly, that there is drag and overlap in the arms; they still feel too parented to the body

- Tiny's arm pull at x104 to 108 is a bit tricky, because the arm gets swung away and the Raptor head swings to the left; both happens at the same time and it feels as if the Raptor was pull to the left as well; but isn't Tiny freeing itself from the bite? I would keep the arm swing but the Raptor head could swing with the arm a bit before getting into the pose around x117; imagine you're holding on to someone and that someone pulls away while you hold on, you will get pulled in the direction as the person who's pulling

- Tiny's left arm gets into a pose around x99 and then kinda sticks there, especially the hand and finger pose until x105, then on x106 the hand disappears; it would be good to get a different hand and finger pose until the exit for more contrast and to take the stiffness away

- Raptor tail feels fine until around x110 where it could swing back screen left, going with the body motion


shot4:

- Tiny's right arm feels too passive around the x144 area, when it swings back; on that frame it could be more dynamic and forceful pose wise

- there's a quick left hand/arm move by Tiny from x150 to 152, which stops too quickly (looking at the wrist, it changes rotation quickly over two or three frames only and then stays pretty much put orientation wise; played in real time it's a bit too poppy and then locked); I think that transition could need one more pass and watch out for the fingers, they seem to go through the neck around x151

- the Raptor tail could be smooth out from the beginning to around x150 and slowed down a tiny bit, but keep the "out of control", overlappy feel to it; watch out for floor intersections; after x150, it could be more active and in control, reacting to the grab (again, check out Cameron's reel for reference)

- raptor head seems to pop screen right after x162 and start a linear rotation screen left after x167; smooth out those areas


shot5:

- this shot still feels the roughest out of whole bunch

- I'd watch out for pops and sudden stops, for instance:

- Tiny's left arm around the x195 area wiggles and pops around

- Tiny's right foot pops to x207 during the up move; that stop is super abrupt and needs more follow through with the up momentum

- Tiny's right arm pops back around x195 during the antic and stops too quickly

- Raptor's feet pop and lock (especially at the end)

- Raptor arms are too stiff

- Raptor tail move at the end could be wavier, more snake like and not just rotate overall up and then down; the base would go down first, while the end would continue the up move and overlap and come down later


Almost there, just some last mile polish areas to fix!


Cheers

JD

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Lukas Niklaus - Wife - Critique



I agree with you that there are a few too many eye darts in there. I think whenever there's some introspective stuff, like at the very beginning, I feel like you could just have him stare. So from the the beginning until around x80 when he looks up, I would just have a vacant stare onto the table, where he's just visualizing loosing his family.

Eye darts to me are part of a through process where someone is deconstructing ideas or situations, problems, etc. Processing anything.

For the rest of the clip I like it until around x284. After that frame I would go quiet again with his eyes, but in the "pose"/eye direction of x318. Then, after the blink around x364 keep what you have until x476. To me, at that point, ​it's a stare into the officer's face, looking for sympathy and understanding, but with the current eyebrows, the sadness goes away for me, it's too probing. I think it might work a bit better with just a hopeful stare. Save that version, let's see how a stare would work and then we can compare, I could be wrong.

The eyebrow work is great. My only tweak would be at x476, during that last stare, I would have the eyebrows a bit more sympathetic and sad and less serious to reinforce that pleading and looking for understanding feeling.
Body wise, I would ease into the pose around x126 a bit more, when he leans back. How the body and head come to a stop is just a tiny bit abrupt and I would soften that a bit more.

For your next pass you can flesh out the lip sync and start thinking about the cop.



All in all though the shot looks really great and is a really strong piece! Nicely done!!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Meghana Gupte - Plane - Critique


Hey,


this works a lot better, nicely done!


The instructor stopping the kid moment works well, it's all clear and you lead the audience the correct way, nicely done!


The ending jump/throw is a good question, hahaha! Technically, at x307, that C curve should go the other way, but I know what you mean... hmmm... Imagine you're inside the plane, holding a flower in the middle of the stem. You extend your arm through the door into the open. What would happen to the flower? It would get get bent (top and bottom) screen right (assuming that in your shot the plane flies right to left). So maybe approach it that way. He gets thrown out and whatever is outside of the plane gets blown to the right?


In your shot his whole body goes forward at the same time. So if he pushes him, maybe the chest and head go first, with the hips dragging and the feet dragging even more, so that all those separate sections get blown screen right one after the other. You can send me the file and I can block something out to make it clearer.


My biggest concern are two poses though.


One is at x105. The hands together like that with the black gloves, we loose the hands and silhouette wise it's not so clear. Same thing with the pose at x241 with the hands back. on that one, squint. It looks like he has amputated arms. So that whole idea is not going to work from that angle.


The breaking up of the actions of the idea around x48 works better, but something is still bugging me, sorry!! Maybe it's how exaggerated the action is for such a small jump? Like on x48 the legs are fully stretched out, then when he compresses, at x52 his hips are pointing screen left, his right foot as well, but his right knee is pointing towards us, but then the whole left leg and foot is pointing way screen right? Something is just odd about this whole move. Sorry for being so vague, I wish I could pin point it better. Id' be okay with him going frmo x39 straight to x70 and then 77, cutting out that whole jump.


Maybe that's what it is. Contrast wise you would go from him standing at the edge, crouched over, then getting straighter, adjusting his belt, moving back, gesturing and then going for the jump! So there's a gradual build up in his movements and THEN he gets cut off by the instructor. That has a nicer feel than going from him being at the door and suddenly doing a jump!

Open your clip in quicktime and cut out frames 41 to 68 and you get the idea.


Try that and let me know what you think!

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique


​That looks awesome! Nice work!

Let me go shot by shot:

shot1


dino:
- could have tongue in the middle (between the upper and lower jaw
around x26 when Tiny pulls it open)
- tongue stops a bit quickly at x36, it could be a bit looser after that
- not sure what the controls look like, but it would be cool if there
were any toe curls; for instance, at x26, the top leg/foot is completely
flat on that frame and it would be cool to have the toes curled down for
a nice shape

Tiny:

- watch out for isolated body movement, like his upper body from x5 to 9; it starts and stops abruptly, doesn't affect the hips too much, head is locked in with the body, etc.

- hands look a lot better, but the screen right one seems a bit wiggly from x8 to 23; I would tighten that part a bit more and watch out that the jaw doesn't move underneath the hand, like from x19 to 22 (it will kill the feeling of a tight grip)

- the head could have a bit more overlap after x34 to 42; when he slams the dino down, the body moves down and then sideways (screen right), but the head feels a bit too locked in with the body her as well

Raptor:

- I would reduce the amount of up movement at the end; it goes up over two frames only and in the next shot the head just goes screen right in a horizontal way; reduce the up by at at least 50% and have the head a bit lower in the 2nd shot, so that it can travel up a bit, bridging the movement more over the cut


shot2


- the raptor's arms are too locked, twinned and not moving at all :)

- right after the raptor bites the shoulder of Tiny goes up and it's too early, there's only one frame of contact point, so it's like Tiny reacts before the pain and surprise can really hit him; I would make it more about the bite and then about the reaction; right now they both happen at the same time, give them each a beat

- I would make bite points more solid; for instance: on x59 the lower jaw is on the biceps, one frame later on the elbow, then on biceps again, but then jaw opens, then stays locked again; so all in all too wiggley visually

- the head just goes up and down in one axis, it could have sideways motions as well so it's a bit more complex and contrasty


shot3


- Tiny should be more in pain and angry around x81, during that whole moving-screen-left section he feels almost bored; needs more intensity

- same thing for his right hand, too casual, and same for his whole left arm; just everything feels too casual and needs to get pushed towards a feeling of pain and rage

- raptor's arms are too stiff and not offset, the tail has pops and could be more active as well


shot4


- raptor arms too stiff

- silhouette of legs could be clearer after x136

- left raptor leg pops up at x130 to 131

- right foot is too frozen after x132

- raptor head stops screen left momentum too quickly after x131 and changes direction and stops quickly all through into x137; watch out for your spacing and arc

- raptor body reacts at x140 (or anticipates?) Tiny's grab at x142; I would keep the raptor dazed until Tiny grabs him

- raptor head pops at x158 and on the way up I would close the jaw, it's too locked right now

- Tiny's right arm goes back and stops abruptly at x139; the wrist on that arm also stays locked in the same rotation

- his right hand/arm intersects the raptor at x157

- Tiny's left hand goes through the raptor neck at x143 and on the way down to x158 is way too wiggley and not holding the raptor's head firmly enough

- watch out for the arc of Tiny's head; it feels a bit locked to the body and therefore inherits a lot of the quick direction changes; for instance the head moves screen right up to x160 and then straight up, so watch your spacing and arcs for the head

- Tiny's right foot after x136 has the shin low, then it moves up as the leg gets stretched out at x141, but the foot and ankle feel locked and it should react to the leg getting stretched (add a little foot roll?)


shot5


- Tiny's punch at the end is a bit fast; the forward move could be a bit slower, which will slow down the chest as well; the head is too locked to the body during the punch

- the raptor legs feel a bit stiff, same with raptor arms, the head feels too fast and wiggley

- this shot feels the roughest, but the idea is there, just slow it down so it matches the feel and style of the previous shots


Sorry it took so long! Usually I critique one shot, so 5 take a bit longer. :)


Cheers

JD

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Alessandro Chirico - Stand and Sit - Critique



Hey,

that's a really good start, I like where you're going with this!

Here my picky notes:
- on the up, there could be a more refined timing approach so that you have her a bit slower going up at the very beginning until around x31 and then she uses her legs to push off and the timing of the up movement gets faster.
- on the down I would slow down the beginning as well, then ramp up the speed and then either get faster until the touches the chair (not a hard plump, but pushing the contact more than what you have now), or you have her go down and then slow down around x80 for a few frames, like a little pause, and then have her drop her butt onto the chair (but here as well you should have a harder contact moment)
- her hands on the thighs feel more constrained on it than actually using the arm for a push off or stabilizing. I don't buy the weight of the arms onto the legs
- watch out for her right arm at x39 how it is overstretching
- her wrists suddenly rotate after x39 to 42 and then stop (her right arm is still overstretched at that point); I would give that turn a more natural feeling; right now it feels like a computer rotation without purpose
- overall the body rotates down and up in one axis and it would be cool to have more sideways rotation, like she's leaning a bit; that will help you with the little step she takes after x47; that step feels to isolated in the leg section, with no root or hip movement for balance and weight shift
- her right foot slides back at the beginning and that slide is a bit simplified, so in your next pass you could add a little Y rotation to it as well and maybe TINY side to side tilt
- watch out for the unnatural movement in her right wrist after x65 until x72; the arm bends and the wrist turns back, which is a weird move
- her body and head feel too connected as one unit after x16 when she bends down to around x25; it would be good to break up those movements; same on the way up
- as you introduce a bit more side to side movement (translate and rotate) in the body, it will also affect her head in those directions for balance

Alrighty, hope that makes sense!
JD

Monday, October 17, 2011

Meghana Gupte - Plane - Critique



Hey,

alrighty, let's get straight to your questions:

1) Right now it all looks stationary......so to give it a feel that they are in a plane.....would just a camera move be fine or I need to show some movement for both the characters......i tried giving the instructor some of it but I think he looks like he is in a bus/train..?.


1) A combination of multiple things could be cool. Think "The Incredibles" when the mother is on jet plane with her two kids. You could have a couple bumps (like air pockets) but it might add too much complexity. I would parent the guys to the plane and have the plane roll side to side (gently, randomly) and add some tiny up and down. That should be enough.


2) The jump towards the end..........right now i am still working on it but ..is it ok if he comes close towards camera as he is falling down?..or what i thought was maybe he could intially come towards camera and then move screen right due to air resistance?....I wasnt very sure how exactly might be his fall...


2) I wouldn't have him come directly to camera because there is not much perspective in that and makes the move flat. I would have him go towards us but also one body width screen right. And yes, he should only come out until his body is completely off the plane and then he should swoosh out screen right super quickly. Make it cartoony, push the timing, he should off screen in 5 frames or so and you can can totally exaggerate the stretch. Think Road Runner. :)

Other than that, there are some funky things going on, let's go one by one.

First, it's a lot better and I like the implementation of the light and how the teacher goes about it and throws him out.

What I think needs a bit of tweaking is:

Red guy:

- on x78, his screen left shoulder looks like it's dislocated. The grey ball should be where the white patch starts, but now you have the white rings and then the red area where the shoulder is. This gives it a really weird silhouette

- at first I didn't know what the red guy was doing at x102 and on. I'm assuming now he's holding on to the chute like a back pack, where the straps are? At first I thought it was a weird boxing type of thing he was doing, to pump himself up. :)

- the jump around x48 is also a bit off, but maybe that's because of his shoulders. Maybe it's also because he lands and does the arm gesture at the same time. Clearer separation of beats might work better.

- when the instructor holds his arm out is good, but I would tweak it this way: instructor arm goes out - pause - red guy looks screen left at the instructor - audience's eye follows - we look at instructor face - he looks at the kid - then looks up at the light - audience sees the red light - everything makes sense - kid does what you have now which is a big move so that the audience looks back at him. That way all the story beats are clear and you direct the audience around, making sure that nothing is confusing. You can fit all of those beats within the timing you have now and keep the red guy's reaction at x212. If that doesn't make sense, just send me your file and I can mock something up to make it clearer.

- the throw out could happen a few frames earlier. I think the current pause is a bit long, but that should be an easy thing to fix and tweak down the line.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Friday, October 14, 2011

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique


​Yeah, that 210 body reaction is too fast (good eye).

And I'm not really feeling the end of the dog, sorry. Hmm... And given how much he exits frame at 218, I would move the camera screen right as the guy kneels down, so that the framing is more leaning towards the right overall. So on x218, the guy wouldn't be in the center, but one body width screen left (hope that makes sense).

For the dog, what if after the 360 he gets back to something like x187, but butt on the floor, wagging his tail, mouth open, tongue out, panting, happy face?

Let's go note by note:

shot1

- dog is done! Nice job!

​ - guy head rotation needs more pushing, so that on x26 he's less 3/4 with his face towards us, more more profile, to really break up the head from the body; it still feels a bit too much like one unit

- not sure if that was there before (if yes, sorry for not seeing that earlier), but there's a head/body pop in the middle. Look at his screen left nostril as a reference point starting at x23. It goes up and left until x25, but from x25 to 26 barely left and even less up, from 26 to 27 not left at all but only up and much bigger than from 25 to 26; 27 to 28 goes left again, yet 28 to 29 suddenly to the right; 30 to 31 it's not going up at all anymore but only down after that until x33 and from 33 to 34 it barely goes down anymore. So all that in real time gives it a poppy feel

- that's it!

shot2

-his left arm seems to move down and the wrist rotates up from around x57 on but comes to an abrupt one frame halt on x66, that needs some softening

- watch out for the screen left forearm, it starts to evenly rotate clockwise from x144 on until x169. Either give that more purposeful movement (so it's not so even and robotic) or take it out

- on "hat" the eyebrows still feel too high, I would lessen that by 50% again

- good job on the rest of the notes!

shot3

- I don't see the jaw out on "you"

- from x222 on the head and body are too in synce and moving as one unit, loosen that up by breaking up the head anim

- on x205, watch out for angular shapes like on the dog's front right paw. There should be an ankle adjust controller, so that you can smooth out that line so it doesn't look so broken

- the guy bringing down his arms with the hat looks better, but I would slow it down at the end. It's good how it ramps up, but then go slow again, otherwise it feels like he's slamming the hat onto the dog. :)

- nice job on the ankle ambient movement, that's great polish stuff!!

Getting better and better, good work!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - camera adjustment

Here's the previous camera, where I thought that some of the cuts weren't clear enough. When framing back and forth between the cut points, it looked like some of the shots were too similar.



So here's my take on the camera, which has small tweaks, but I was trying to make the cuts more clear by giving the shots a different focus.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Saberi Knakon - Never - Critique



Here my thoughts:

- that arm still feels to IK-ish in it's movement; with such big movement, there would be more falloff in the shoulder and chest; both areas would react more to the arm doing all the moving

- the screen left arm gets into a pose and then sticks there throughout the rest of the shot

- her finger pointing feels more like she's trying to stab the person; so that move combined with her locked left arm feels more like a fencing pose and move :)
I would look at
www.guilhermejacinto.com/
and watch the creampuff (work-in-progress) shot. There's always a clear silhouette in the left guy's arm. And with her, in your shot, the elbow is mostly pointing away from the audience, giving her a stump arm if you do the squint test.


Looking at the above image, the forearm just ends with her fist and no elbow or forearm for most of the gesture.

Also, her chest is very rigid and mostly vertical. Same with her head. You can rotate the body back a bit more as she winds up and then do a reversal C curve on the point, so it's really in-your-face and less stiff.

- On "never", the movements could also a be a tiny bit snappier, so there's more connection between her voice and action. Her current gestures feels a bit soft and doesn't match the intensity of the voice.

- Same goes for her face. On "should' it could be more squashed together, with squintier eyes and a bigger expression on "never", so that there's more of an antic and release.

Hope that makes sense!
Cheers
JD

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique



Hey,

That's working better and the anim is coming along nicely, but the cut between shot 2 and 3 is still weird. You're going to have to find a different angle to show the action in shot 3.
The last shot's camera is also weird, I would not have any movement on it for now. You can still put something in later, but right now, that camera has a weird back and forth. Personally, I would have the camera the way you have it on x155 until x164, then delete all the camera keys except the last one on x194. That way the camera goes down until 164 and follows the action, and after that slows down and goes wider until 194.
Anim wise you're doing doing really great. The only thing that stood out are the raptor's arms, which don't seem to have any anim on them yet.

Picky stuff:

shot1:
- Tiny's hands could be a bit more locked to the jaw and the fingers need to have a more tense pose, they don't look like he's struggling and really pulling on that jaw/head.
- Tiny's screen left ankle/foot looks too locked, it needs a bit more reactionary movement as the body shifts around
- Tiny's mouth could close around x19 because of the muscle tension, then open the mouth after x25 so that there's a roar/yell during the head slam.
- the brown creature's screen left leg moves to the left in a very IK way and then just stops and sticks.
- the creature's back left leg goes up to x17 and then stops too quickly.
- the tail needs to be a bit more complex and wavy. Right now it's just going up and down as one big block.
- after the head slam the limbs on the creature just stop moving; that head slam should ripple back through the body so that the legs still wiggle and move after the head slam

shot3:
- Tiny's left arm feels too dead, it's just hanging there
- is the raptor head sliding from x72 to 76 or is that a re-grab/re-bite?
- raptor head pops from x90 to 91 into a new direction; stops too quickly on x94, pops screen left on x96; stops too quickly on x97
- Tiny's right arm moves too fast on x107 to 109, feels like a pop, then it just stop on x110

shot4:
- raptor right foot step on x135 and on feels too much like a slide
- raptor head goes down and stops too quickly on x135
- when the raptor gets lifted up, the tail could hang more loose, say on x153 it wouldn't be curled up to the right but hanging more down (it's also going through the ground at the beginning)
- Tiny's feet are too lose, they rotate around too much during that shot; I would buy it if the screen left foot is not rotating ever, since it's the one with a lot of weight on it; the screen right one would have to take more of a step at the end of the shot as opposed to the rotation and slide that you have right now

shot5:
- his punch needs one or two more frames of inbetweens, it's too fast
- Tiny's right foot plant should happen right after the punch and not at the same time, otherwise it feels too in sync and twinned

YEAH!!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique



Let's go shot by shot:

Shot1

-the dog is 99% done. Last thing I would do during his scratching, is to have the screen right brow a bit lower, and the eye a bit squinty

- for the guy, some picky stuff: his left hand/arm goes screen left until x37 and then it moves to the right over one frame; keep it going to the left

- I would rotate his head a bit from x24 on so that it gets to x38 a bit earlier. Right now the head and chest move together too much and it would be great to loosen it up a bit more. So if you move the head a bit earlier it will break up the movement a bit more.

- the screen left elbow is a bit hiccup-y. Look at how the elbow tip goes from left to right until x24, then it kinda stays put for a frame, then to x26 it goes to the right again, then it stops again at x29 until 31, then it goes to the right again, then stops again. So track that tip for smooth spacing

Shot2

- his left arm goes up until x49, then back down on 50. Those one frame direction changes are too harsh, smooth that part out.

- x39 to 40 his hat arm goes down quite a bit, then 40 t0 41 is small, 41 to 42 is small, etc. etc. So that first frame is a bit too big and feels like a pop. You can have the arm at x40 a bit higher, at x41 a tiny bit higher, so that the transition is a bit smoother.

- on "saw", around x86, I would accent that word with bringing up the eyebrows a bit

- around "hat' I would bring the eyebrows lower by half so that it's a bit more quiet before they go up again at the end of this shot

Shot3

- on "you", you could bring out the jaw and mouth shape for "oo" more for a bigger silhouette change

- when the dog jumps off to his right, I would keep the paws on the ground a tiny bit longer, so that you show how he pushes himself to the right a bit more

- the ending look and wiggle with the butt feels a bit off. The pose and silhouette feels muddled. You could have it more profile so that there is a clearer view on the body and legs.

- the guy's movement of how he puts the arms down with the hat feels a bit even in timing, a bit too robotic

- watch out how the body stops going screen right at x236

- when the dog jumps the guy doesn't really react to it. Around x209 it would be good to have at least the head follow the dog's path

- detail thing: his right foot, the part sticking out right above the frame is totally locked once he kneels down. Would be good to get some ambient movement on it


Hope that helps!
JD

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Elvi Husen - Jump - Critique



Hey,

that's really cute! And it's looking good! So my notes are going to be a bit more picky. :)

- when he bends down at x1044, he goes right up at x1045. I would have 1045 a tiny bit lower than 1044, then 1045 a tiny bit higher than 1045 and then have him jump. That way you don't have a linear direction change and a bit more anticipation.
- looking at his right arm from x1049 to let's say 1057, it's moving with the head, as it's one unit. I would have a bit more delay and overlap in that arm, so it's not so in sync.
- both feet pop a bit from x1052 to 1053 (the spacing before that is much smaller)
- the right foot's arc could be smoother from x1053 to 1057
- the head goes down starting at x1058 and technically I would have it go forward after his feet touch down, so that the impact makes the head go forward. If it's part of a special move, you could have it start at 1060, but I wouldn't do it earlier.
- the head comes to an abrupt stop at x1063 (look how the head goes a tiny bit up at 1064), I would ease more into that
- the head and arm move at the same time from x1078 to 1079, I would offset them more
- same thing happens at x1083, the head stops to abruptly and the hand stops at the same time; I like the moving hold, but just ease more into that stop
- the axis of the head going down and then later up feels the same. When the head goes up, it could go a bit more sideways as well, sneak in a little head turn, so it feels more like the poses go from A to B and then to C, and not from A to B and back to A.
- the head stops at x1128, as well as the staff, so the same here, I would offset the different body parts and props and ease into it a bit more.
- same thing after x1148 when the body, head and staff moves, offset it a bit more
- the yawn hand movement in the 1220 area is also a bit too repetitive. The hand rotation feels like it's going from A to B and back to A.
- the head does a linear direction change from x1247 to 1248 and both arms are locked with the head as one unit during that until x1249; same here, offset things a bit so that it doesn't look so blocky.
- on the nose swipe, you could have the head move in Y a little bit with the finger, so that the hand is affecting the head a little bit and it will take the frozen feel out of the head as well

Picky picky! But looking good!!!
JD

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique



Alright, so here more detailed feedback:

- first, I would color each character with a simple color, but make each one of them very separate, so that you can tell them apart easier

shot1:
- the camera goes already down after around x16, as if it knew that the dino will get smashed down to the ground. I'd keep it up so that you frame Tiny's head and the dino jaw. Have the camera always a little bit late compared to the action
- Tiny's slam down happens a bit pose to pose and it feels more like the body rotates down first, then elbows and then the jaw gets opened. I think that action could be a bit clearer. You could break the jaw first and then slam the head down, so it doesn't happen all together.
- the dino is only 4 frames in the shot until we cut to the next shot. I would have it a bit longer, so that we clearly understand from where he comes from. Give the audience enough time to register each beat. So at least double the time of the dino in frame. Have it come in, pause, and then attack Tiny. If you need more than 8 frames, that's okay. It can all still happen fast, just right now it's a bit too fast.

shot2 and 3 are very similar angle wise, so the cut from shot2 to shot3. Step frame back and forth between the cut and you'll see how similar they are. You could have shot2 a bit more behind Tiny and the dino and less profile, and in shot3 you have the camera more towards Tiny, so that it starts visually kinda like around x72.

There's an odd moment in shot3 around x80 where it all kinda slows down. What's the story point there? Is that suddenly slow-motion?

And when Tiny moves his arm back to around x105 it also feels slow. It could work in terms of Indy slowly gaining strength again and preparing for the slap, but then I would have the Dino really active in the head during that time, trying to bite through Tiny's arm.

The slap could be clearer silhouette wise around x116. I would move them apart more so that they are not overlapping like on x117 and 125, etc.
Tiny's grab around x125 is way too fast and it looks as if the dino is moving down the head first. Make sure that after the slap you give it enough time for both creatures to finish their momentum and that Tiny will engage first and pull the dino's head down and that the dino will react to that move (they won't move at the same time).

The lift up, slam and push after that is great, I just wish you could have the dino not in front of Tiny at x171, 172 and 173, so that there's a clear silhouette. Maybe the camera slowly rotates around to the left, so that Tiny is more screen left and the dino is more screen right at x173. Speaking of camera, it feels weird how the camera pulls back and then stops at x80. Way too linear. Approach the camera like your animation, it has to work physics wise as if it was operated.

Hope that makes sense!
JD

Monday, September 12, 2011

Sebastian Cartelli - Walk - Critique



​Hey,

I like it! The part where she​'s using the tablet before she picks up the cup is good and the pause before the grab and once she holds the cup is great. Not sure about the tablet idea, a book could work better, but then again, she could be reading from a notepad, it doesn't really matter.

The camera feels a bit odd, since it's so high up. It's almost like a security camera. i would bring it down so it's a bit more like the side camera, just a bit higher. Think of how a practical camera would be set up and what a comfortable height would be.

Anim wise you're off to a great start. The only thing that felt weird is her right arm. The way it's hanging there feels a bit forced, it's a bit straight. In the sideview it's almost like a military walk. Maybe once you add more breakdowns and you can see/feel a more relaxed swing, then it will work. Just think about that section as you move on.

I would first lower the camera and send me that the moment it's ready, then we can look at a few poses that might need some tweaks for the silhouette. Right now, the current perspective camera is not very flattering regarding her arm silhouette as she walks away. Even with the camera lower I think we will have to adjust that, unless you have her walk more towards the camera after x97, so we see more of her front part.

What do you think?

Cheers
JD

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Atle Hillmann - Car crash - Critique



Hey,

alrighty, what I would do now, is hide the eye controller box and put it geometry for the floor, so we can look at intersections. As he's looking around, you want the root to be involved as well, so as the hips are moving around, we need to check it against the floor.

Overall, you're on the right track. What stood out were the IK arms and some fast timing here and there, but you're doing good!

- main area to work on for the next pass (for the same section and beyond) are his arms. The tricky thing about IK arms is that they move independently from the body and in some cases (depending on the rig) also independently from the hands. Looking at your arm/hand that holds the car, the wrist is locked in the same orientation throughout the whole shot, as well as during major body movements, like from x29 to x40. Same goes for the other hand, albeit in a less pronounced way, except from x118 to 123, where the hand goes down and screen left in a very linear way, with no arc and not chest nor shoulder movement is visible, which makes it stand out even more as IK
- that last section with the hand is also too fast; you'd think that he'd be more careful, now that he's found the piece and has the hand so close to the car
- the head turn from x60 to 66 is also a bit too fast; this feels more like he caught some burglar :)
- as mentioned at the beginning, during all those turns with the upper body, you will have to involve the lower body and hips; they are locked right now are not reacting to the body. The legs will move and shift as well, when he turns around (which in turn will have an effect on the feet, otherwise you end up with the locked wrist IK look again)
- his left knee will move when he takes his hand off, since there is a weight change as the hand is not resting on the knee anymore
- lastly, watch out for pops like on x41 to 42 (his left leg)

One more tip for IK arms. You want to emulate FK arms as much as possible. When the body rotates, the arm rotates with it. Of course you don't want it all to happen as one unit and at the same time, so you offset the arms a bit, depending on the action. But even then, it will still feel like the body is influencing the arms, which is more believable, than IK arms, where they are completely detached.

Hope that makes sense!
Cheers
JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Critique



Very cool! It's really coming together!! Here my thoughts:

Body:

- there's something linear either in his chest or root at x121 to 122, when the body goes up and then screen left; I'd smooth out that transition more; actually, during that section, he seems to lean over to his left, but then his left leg gets off the lower window/balcony thingie, so he would be unbalanced, yet he raises the leg to x123 and then not much more until around x130. So this looks more like he's leaning over to his left, to then push off the left leg which makes him lean back to his right, so in that case, I would keep the left leg where it is a bit longer, like around x135 and don't have any up movement from x120 to 125
- eye closing at x106 feels even in timing
- on "HIM", could add a little bit of eye brow movement, where they move towards the middle, just a bit, for a little crunch; subtle, but it would add a touch or tension
- this could be nothing, but watch out for his left hand/forearm going through his back from x47 to 80

Lipsync:

- the "Jesuit" part looks great!
- after "rebel", I'm not too sure about the upper lip being so high. I like the idea of keeping the mouth open, but when I watched the clip for the first time, that part felt weird.
- "both" you could push the "B" shape (curl/roll in the lips more) and the "TH" shape; you want to show a separation between the "O" moment and the "TH" moment, so "O" will have the mouth corners further in, so that it can relax out a bit on "TH"
- "Him" needs curled in lips as well; nothing crazy, but just like the "B" moment, there needs to be a difference between a default closed shape and a lips pressed together shape
- lastly for "Man" and "me" the same, but a tiny bit, more subtle than the previous shapes, but all for contrast

I'm sure you're aware of it, but just in case, make sure to color his eye balls white and give him a different shirt. :)

JD

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique



Your new version looks a lot better, nice job making the tweaks!

The first few things that still stood out though were:


- screen right hand around x172 and on, is still in that flat pose and creates a weird silhouette. Plus it makes him lok too controlled and elegant, yet he's yelling and upset, so the fingers fight against that mood.

- "going" mouth shape still feels flat. The "i" part could be exaggerated, so it's more "Go-iiing", with one corner of the mouth higher than the other

- flip through x248/249 and you'll see how the screen right arm is locked and that ends up being an abrupt stop as the arm goes up. Don't stop the momentum so hard, finish the upward move with an arc and a down movement for a settle

​ - x252 on, his turn back to us, the head is better, but the upper chest feels like it's just moving in Y; would be good to add a bit more complexity to it


That's it! You're almost there!
JD

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Alon Helman - Jump - Critique





I'm not too concerned about the speed. It works for me now, but it's hard to know how much faster you went. You can always render it faster with the speed that you like. Also depends how stylized you want to go.

The changes work pretty well, especially the added frame in the root. I'm still not a big fan on his right foot pose at x18. I would rotate that more in, it looks kinda broken. You could start on x16 with a more inward tilt and rotation and then go further on x18.
This may sound picky, but his right foot feels like it's slowing down before the impact a bit too much. I would delete x27 and go from x26 to 28 (so x28 happens on x27). It won't be super harsh because the toes are still up for one frame and then there's a full plant. That will soften it enough. But right now it's a bit too soft.



I'm a bit hesitant now about the speed up, after looping it for a while. And only because of his head spacing from x16 to 18. It's already borderline fast, so with a speed up, that will get too fast. You will have to adjust that if you speed everything up.

Sorry if I didn't see that before, but at the beginning, when he leans screen left, his left foot is moving as well, so there's nothing that motivates the root translation. You need that foot to be planted so that it can push the root screen left. If you delay the foot from getting of the ground it might make the step before the jump a bit too fast. If that's the case, just add a few frames to the beginning of your shot, have him lean to the left during those added frames so that the weight distribution is working better and then lift the foot for the step and push off.

On x21 I would bring the arm a bit more back so that you have a cleaner silhouette and make a fist (the hand pose feels a bit soft).



You can open up the hand after around x26.
Watch out for hand/floor intersections on x31 and 40+.

Hope that helps!
JD

Bruno Andrade - Dino Fight - Critique



Hahahahaha!! That's kinda brutal!!

My first impression was, too bad I missed the fight! :) Maybe you can cut on action where the dino is falling down? But that might be too much. What's your story behind this?

Pose wise the kid feels pretty good. I would maybe get a stronger silhouette at the beginning. x1 his axe is in front of the body, with the screen right edge aligned kinda with the right edge of his arm. x99 and 105 have really strong posing, so I would make x93 a bit more dynamic as well.
After the slash on x115, it would be cool to feel more of an impact in his body. I think that the axe also comes off too softly. It would be cool for the axe to be stuck in the body a bit more, so when he pulls it out, the dino body gets pulled with it for a moment and then plumps down when the axe gets out.
In his last poses, like x191, I would angle the axe a bit more down vertically, so that it looks heavier. It might get trick with the silhouette, but after a big fight, and given his panting at the end, he should be more tired and not able to hold that axe so easily with one arm. Or, he's using the axe as a cane, with the blade on the ground and he's leaning on it for support. Maybe?

JD

Friday, July 29, 2011

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique


​The shot looks great overall, here is just my super picky point of view.


For the polish stuff, I usually attack it section by section​. And section wise, I start with the body parts that will affect all other body parts, meaning, I start with the root first and work through smaller and smaller sections, ending with fingers and facial work. So, let's do it:


The root seems fine overall, but there are little areas I would tweak:


- when he first comes out and rises, there's a sticky frame, on x118. Flip through x117 and 118 fast and you'll see how there's big spacing from x116 to 117 and then a sudden stop. Just keep going up a bit to soften that, then one more frame going up a TINY bit or down a little bit and then feather into what you have, ending on the down around x129. It's okay for him to go up faster, since it's his legs pushing, but give it enough hang time, since it's the body that falls down and it's not going down by another force than gravity. He's not being pulled down, so avoid crazy stops or sudden one frame direction changes. Of course, in a more cartoony clip it can be okay, but looking at your overall style and timing choices, it's not something like Pocoyo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QFfzI2tJDg). :)

- from x145 to 146 it feels like a linear key. You could go down a bit less over one frame and then feather into what you have, so it's not so abrupt. Watch out how everything seems to start no that frame. Head goes up, arm gets off the door wall, so break it up. By slowing down the root it will reduce the sudden head drag (even if it's just a frame), and delay the arm by 2 frames.

- watch out how the root goes down in a vertical way from x145 to 149, and then up and to the left diagonally until x153. It's very straight and I'm missing an arc, plus the direction change from x149 to 150 could be smoother (which it will be if you give it a nicer arc)

- there's a great arc and nice timing on his jump and down around x156; I would bring that type of feel to the direction change at x167 as well

- watch your spacing after that though, from x171 to 172 it feels like the root is a bit too far left; you were going down a specific arc and then suddenly on that frame it pops to the left; then after that frame, you stop the screen left momentum and just have the root come towards us over two frames, and then there's a sudden direction change up without an ease out on x174 to 175; same no x178 where he's going up and left, and then over one frame he stops going up and goes screen right. That whole sections feels a bit messy arc wise and spacing wise.

- the rest feels fine until around x225, where he does the weight shift ending around x240. I can see a hip rotation, but it feels a bit locked in space. I would have the root translate a bit screen left, since that side of the hip goes up, meaning that it bears more weight than the other side. But if you don't show a root shift, then it just looks like a ship pose change without any center of weight and balance change.


​Head

- on his way up around x154, I would tilt the head to the left (rotate counter clock wise), so it's not so vertical all the time; I think it can point towards the spot he's going a bit more

- watch out for x161 to 162. The head goes down and then suddenly does just a horizontal screen left move; it looks like you're rotating the head in Y, but then at x164 you rotate it back the other way; that little section feels too "translate-y"

- on the up around x167 and on the down around x171, then back up around x177, etc. I would tilt the head as well. It's good that it's broken up from the body and it's not like you want it to snake around during each hope; it's just that it feels a bit too locked in the vertical axis

- breaking it up with a sideways tilt will help the direction change after x179, where the head first goes screen left and then suddenly screen right. You could have the head move and rotate screen right a bit earlier, so that he's leading that action with his head a bit more (now that the audio starts); it will also help you with the sticky frame, when flipping back and forth through x178 to 179 (watch the top line of the head over 176 to 181 and you'll see how the head goes up and suddenly stops)

- the head shake during "where you're going" feels a bit too locked in the horizontal Y rotation; you could have it a bit more complex with up and down arcs

- since you already had a head shake, I would tone it down during the "I was gonna make..." part, it could just go one way horizontally (screen left) with more up and down accents based on the audio, and then go screen right after x240

- when you do go to the right, watch the arc from x240 to 245, it's very flat and could be pushed a bit more; same goes on the way back to x261

- I would actually add 5 to 10 frames to the end, so we can linger a bit more on that sad face. Right now it just cuts out after the head turn is done, which feels a bit abrupt


Arms/Hands

- screen left goes up until around x161 and then it moves more to the left until x164, then straight up again until x167, where it stops and sticks (and forms a tangent with the fingertips right at the framing edge), then it drops in a pretty straight line and then suddenly to the left around x172; so overall the arcs and spacing needs a bit more love, also watch out how the wrist is mostly in the same up rotation, giving it a bit of an IK feel; it continues with a left arc that suddenly flattens going from x173, to 174 and 175

- for the screen right arm after x161 I'd watch out for his hand and finger poses. The fingers seem a bit flat, with a a few exceptions at x170, with the area standing out the most being x172 to 176 (the same wrist orientation and finger pose)

- watch out for the finger curling at x191 to 194, with all the fingers doing the same thing and at the same time

- the screen right arm feels a bit even and IK-ish from x223 to 241, then the arc is a bit flat up to 247, with a sudden stop at x248 and then a drifty feeling lowering of the arm until the end


Feet:

- on x156, the front foot could be tilted more clockwise, same on x157, so that it only flattens once it's planted


Shoulder:

- on the drop from x201 to 209, they feel a bit isolated; you could drop and rotate the chest a bit forward, so that the surrounding body parts are more connected to and affected by each other


Eyes:

- the blink from x134 to 140 feels a bit linear in timing and too blocky. And on the up, there could be a little bit of a jaw change, so that this surprised look is not just isolated to the eye/brow area

- watch out for eye line problems like no x168, where he looks up, or x190 where he looks down

- watch the back foot how it goes up to x161 and then moves pretty horizontally until around x163, so watch your arcs during that area


Mouth:

- on x194, at the end of "going?", it could have a more pronounced "EEEE" shape, with the corners of the mouth more asymmetrical, so that the mouth shape is not so even and flat

- I wouldn't close the mouth on x200, I think it would feel more natural and working with the audio if his mouth was always open



BAM! Hope that helps! :)
JD

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Rouzbeh Ghasemi - Vacuum - Critique



​The arms look a lot better! Overall the clip is really strong! It's a sweet demo reel piece!

Here a few tweaks I would look into:

- his right elbow pops to the right from x223 to 225, looking like the arm is overextending. You can bring down the shoulder to smooth that out

- look at the right wrist and vacuum from x229 to 230, flip back and forth and you'll see how it's pivoting off the grey little thingie underneath the vacuum; then from x230 to 231 it all pops screen right; what you can do is this: track that grey thingie from x226 to 227, it's starting a screen right move, but then goes straight down on x228, keep it going to the right a little bit, same onto 229 and 230, so that by 230 it won't have to go as far to the right onto 231, which will reduce the pop

- his right wrist pops up over two frames from x246 to to 248

- the hip/root feels like it's drifting screen right from x222 to 235; it's just even in timing, so I would slow it down more at the beginning; I like the ambient move, but just tie it more to the rest of the body action, so it doesn't feel like a separate drift

- the thumb could need one more inbetween when it's pushing the button (x63, 110, 113, 134, 136). Big moves like that over one frame feel too poppy

That would be my priority and if you have time left, you could do one more pass on the his right arm about the IK. It's definitely better and it doesn't look IK anymore, it just feels like it (and only from the beginning to x152). I know that sounds silly but there is a difference.


Hope that helps!
JD