Roman Kobryn - Kill - Critique

Very cool! It's really coming together!! Here my thoughts:

Body:

- there's something linear either in his chest or root at x121 to 122, when the body goes up and then screen left; I'd smooth out that transition more; actually, during that section, he seems to lean over to his left, but then his left leg gets off the lower window/balcony thingie, so he would be unbalanced, yet he raises the leg to x123 and then not much more until around x130. So this looks more like he's leaning over to his left, to then push off the left leg which makes him lean back to his right, so in that case, I would keep the left leg where it is a bit longer, like around x135 and don't have any up movement from x120 to 125
- eye closing at x106 feels even in timing
- on "HIM", could add a little bit of eye brow movement, where they move towards the middle, just a bit, for a little crunch; subtle, but it would add a touch or tension
- this could be nothing, but watch out for his left hand/forearm going through his back from x47 to 80

Lipsync:

- the "Jesuit" part looks great!
- after "rebel", I'm not too sure about the upper lip being so high. I like the idea of keeping the mouth open, but when I watched the clip for the first time, that part felt weird.
- "both" you could push the "B" shape (curl/roll in the lips more) and the "TH" shape; you want to show a separation between the "O" moment and the "TH" moment, so "O" will have the mouth corners further in, so that it can relax out a bit on "TH"
- "Him" needs curled in lips as well; nothing crazy, but just like the "B" moment, there needs to be a difference between a default closed shape and a lips pressed together shape
- lastly for "Man" and "me" the same, but a tiny bit, more subtle than the previous shapes, but all for contrast

I'm sure you're aware of it, but just in case, make sure to color his eye balls white and give him a different shirt. :)

JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Critique

​That's looking really nice!

​ As you mentioned, there are some linear moments, like on x38 where the chest rotates abruptly. I also wonder if it's a hair too fast? Or just too big? Same with the move around x76. It's good to have contrast in the performance, but having both moments big like that, makes him a bit too active compared to his line delivery. The audio is so calm, I think you could keep the first one starting at x38, just a bit softer (he has the pause in the audio, so I think it's a good moment for an accent), but tone down the look up later a lot more (less in the head, less in the shoulders). Could just be me, that was just my first impression when I watched this version.

Body wise there's something funky going on after x98 where the body rotates away from us but the head tilts towards us, then the whole body moves as one unit to around x149. I wouldn't break it up too much between the head/chest/root because he has that regal attitude, but it's just a tad stiff. You could loosen it up a little bit in the chest and shoulders as he makes that big turn. Then you could bring the shoulders back up a little bit and rotate the chest back a tiny bit before "I will..." as if he's breathing in.

I really like the move on "told me", I'm a big fan of head accents that don't overdo it and this one at the end combined with the eye flare works really well.

Overall the body is working really well. The facial performance is a big part though and I think you will be able to bring the performance up a notch with it.

Cheers

JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Feedback

Hey,

I like where you're going with this shot. My only comment anim wise, would be the fist part on "kill". I wonder if that's a bit too on the nose. Fist/crush/kill, acting out the words type of thing. I really like the audio delivery and I think you could push that Kill moment with more of an emphasis on the facial acting and less with a gesture.

There's a lot you can do with eyes, so for instance if you have a guy that has a lot of eye darts, active eyes and an active head (little head turns) and then he quiets down and the eyes focus and almost stare, you get a lot of contrast. So in your shot, as he projects what he's going to discover, he's actively imagining it in his head, so his mind is busy, therefore you will read that in his eyes. But when he's thinking about the kill, it's a single minded focus, so that will get reflected in his eyes as well. And that stillness will be a good way to emphasize that moment, instead of externalizing it with a gesture.

What do you think?

Otherwise, keep going! It's a bit rough anim wise with stepped keys to give you specific anim feedback from a technical point of view, so I would start the next pass with more breakdowns and splined keys. There's also nothing that stands out as being "wrong". My only little critique would be to have the background wall be more screen left, so that the head doesn't form a tangent with that wall line at the end.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD