Monday, August 16, 2010

Barry Nardone - Winged Creature - Critique

video

Alrighty, here some more feedback.

Overall it's looking very cool, I don't have that much to add actually.

1st shot:
From x82 to -26 I feel like he's rotating the gun around through his wrist, which makes it feel a bit light. I would use the arm more than the wrist, like the way you have it towards the end of that shot.
Watch the screen right elbow, it drifts up yet there isn't that much movement in the gun nor the screen right wrist, which gives that arm a bit of an IK feel to it (only until x11 or so).
Right before the turn around x60 you could adjust the screen right fingers, kinda preparing for more of a grip since he's swinging around that big heavy weapon.
The first blink feels a tad fast. I know he's tense and alert, but there something off in that timing. It's a bit even in timing, with the down and up feeling very similar and the up could ease more into a stop.
Would be good to get more of an expression (mouth wise) in there for the next pass.

The creature looks good, my only comment would be to offset their rotation from the body with some drag and overlap from x57 to 71.

2nd shot:
The guy looks great. Only thing would be to tweak the timing of the 2nd swing screen right and maybe have him not go as far. It feels like the big swing at the end of the 1st shot is distance wise about the same as the 1st in this shot and the one back is about the same again. So overall a bit even, which could use a bit more contrast then. He could swing half way at the end, pause a bit, then continue the swing to the right.

The creature for the next could use some keep alive in that wrist, to feel the pressure as it shifts weight, with the palm compressing and fingers reacting to that. Not sure what's going on with the wrist at the beginning. It seems a bit stuck in space (except rotation) from x91 to around x103. Yet at the beginning is there a finger going through the ground geometry?

3rd shot:
The lift off feels a bit sharp, especially looking at the screen left front arm.
During the flap down to x202 it would be cool to have the wings fold all the way down (rotating at the base, not half way - if that makes sense). I think that would make it a bit more powerful. And as the wings flap down the body would go up a bit and react to that force. Right now the body just starts hovering up at x199.

I would wait with the camera pan until the creature breaks frame to the right a bit. Right now at x246 it feels like the camera operator is anticipating the action, instead of following it, by leaving enough room on the screen right side.

How it grabs the soldier could be a bit more complex and careful with the drag and overlap on the guy. From x246 to 247 the gun arm swings out over one frame. The body also gets just twisted by the creatures hand clockwise to x249, with no upper body and head drag.

The creature could feel a bit more threatening during the x264 and x300 section. It's mostly the legs that are just dangling which give me a more relaxed impression. Speaking of legs, the guy's legs are a bit stiff from x262 to 279 and from then on I would have them rotate down since the creature is flying up so that they drag more.

But again, cool sequence of shots, keep going!

Cheers
JD

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