Saturday, June 5, 2010
Niu Ivy - Noodle Woman - Critique
When she first grabs the noodles, make sure that the arms don't overstretch, like around x45. You will also have to move the arms with the body, and by that I mean that right now the arms look like IK arms where they have their own path and feel separate from the body.
When she puts her hands together to rub them, there's a pop right when the hands go out again, at x115 to x116, the wrist does a one frame pop. The head does a fast move down right when she puts her hands together, you could slow that down as well.
When she grabs the chopsticks, she could look quickly to the cup with all the chopsticks, unless she's been going there for a long time and knows the restaurant really well. But I thought that it was the smell that tricked her into going there, so it would be her first time? If it is her first time then she wouldn't know exactly where what it is in the restaurant, therefore she'd be looking around when grabbing things. Hope that makes sense.
When she goes for the food, I would add more detail to the cup of noodles. It just does a linear move to the right. Add a little move left first, a little anticipation over two or there frames and when the noodles stop they can slow down and stop instead of doing such a hard linear move.
When the woman looks over the head stops around x277 and then doesn't move anymore. You'd have to add a moving hold at that moment, otherwise the head feels dead. The eye blinks feel a bit mechanical, especially the second where the eyes close and stay closed for a while and then reopen. I think you'd be better off having two fast blinks and then a confused look.
When she grabs her cane, the screen left hand goes through the counter top, make sure that the contact is solid there. The other arm/hand just grabs the cane at around x413 and it would be neat to see the hand more before she grabs the cane, kinda going to the left of it for two or three frames and then grabbing the cane on x413. It's a bit weird how she lets go off the chopsticks. They are in her hands on x384 but then they kinda go up and to the left while the hand opens and arm goes to the left as well. It's as if they are floating away. Make that a more decisive throw.
The punches with her cane need to cleaner. Right now the noodles already start to get smaller even before she hits it (as if the noodles were protecting themselves? Like putting-the-arm-in-front-of-the-face-as-protection?). Then the cane seems to go through the noodles and the bowl. As she goes for the 2nd swing, follow the tip of the cane and you'll see a very messy arc. Tighten that up and make the swing cleaner with a nicer arc and silhouette (like x445 is not as clear of a silhouette as it could be, arm and cane wise).
The little noodle hand is just coming out and going the through the cane before the grip, from x471 to x472. Give that movement a clear arc as well and open the fingers and then have them go into a fist grab for the cane, so it's clear what's going on. When the hand is pulling the cane to the left, watch the path of the hand and cane from x479 on. It's very flat as if they're on a table, up until around x500. You can have it pull down to the left more and not so straight, give it an arc (everything has an arc, even if it's super subtle; only robotic movements are linear).
You seem to overstretch the old lady's arm around x502, keep it a little bit bent. And when she pulls her cane back, I would cut around x512 into a new shot. After that part the animation dies a bit and the contact on her hand with her cane gets very loose and the three frame move at the very end is too fast and confusing. You don't want to introduce such a big move and idea and the very end of a shot, at least not during the last 7 frames (or first 7 frames of a shot, too early for audience to register what's going on).
Alright! Let's go with that! Have a render next time where we can see her eyes better!