Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wini Wang - Jump - Critique

video

Hey,

that looks really great! Nice work!

My thoughts and picky notes, since it's so good. :)

- x24, hips, the left side could be lower and his right side higher since that leg is swinging up

- x25, I feel like the body could be rotated back a tiny bit more (looking at the right edge of the lower body up to the upper body, it's quite a straight line, so getting a bit more of a C curve in it would be good)

- picky note: x33, right foot, could be tilted sideways so it's not landing flat

- if possible, have a little downward move in his left leg from around x33 to 37; with him landing the downward momentum would go through his left leg which is just dangling/hanging there throughout those frames)

- could just be me, but I would rotate the forearm a bit up on x36 so that his right arm is not swinging in such a straight line

- the upper body rotates forward too quickly from x43 to 44 (compared to the spacing on x42 to 43); the head could also drag a bit more; right now the whole body and head move as one unit down from x43 to 48, so breaking up the body from the head and rotating the chest back on that down move will help with the drag

- I would move down his left arm from x44 to 47 then back to what you have on x51; when he lands the downward momentum would carry on through his arms a little bit for some overlap

- the head pops forward on x59 to 60 and 61, then stops, then again a quick move forward to x68; in real time the head feels a bit poppy; if you could smooth that part out a bit it would help

- x73, left leg, a tiny bit bent, so that x74 is the straight leg frame (it pops a little bit into that straight pose)

- the upper body and head move in one unit back from x92 to 96 and then the back move stops; I would drag the head a tiny bit and rotate the chest a bit forward during that move and smooth out the stop

- the head could also lead the action from x97 down to x102 and on to 108

- the right upper arm could be rotated higher on x106 so it doesn't look like the arm is horizontal

- smooth out the arc and spacing of the left arm: it swings up to x105, but then goes forward to 106; you could take out the pose on x105 and not go further than 106

- right foot could rotate down from x103 to 104 so that the foot doesn't stay in the same rotation angle during the lift off

- the body has a super quick exit from x107 to 108, which feels like a pop; give the body at least one more frame where we can see the lower body

Almost there, keep going!
Cheers

JD

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