Monday, June 11, 2012

Elena Dae - Cats and Jump - Critique

video


Okay!

Let's go shot by shot on the cat clip:
Overall it's a lot tighter, which is great, nice job! Here my picky thoughts:

shot1:
- the grip around the neck still needs some tweaking; after the initial pull up it drifts up and down; she wouldn't move the hand up that slowly with so much weight on her, so it's okay to keep it fairly still, but the neck geom really has to stick to that hand to make the grip look firm
- but what I'd do is have her hand and body of the male cat go up like you have it, but then come down a tiny bit; his body stops very abruptly from x25 to 26, where it doesn't go up anymore, and her wrist goes SR, so ease into that stop more and have it go down a bit; imagine you pick up a heavy bag, you wouldn't be able to stop on one frame and the bag sure wouldn't because of the momentum
- her SR hand, after the pull up, seems to float down; you can see how her thumb gets closer to her hips; you can stiffen that arm more, so that the eye doesn't wander there; the focus after the pull is on both their faces, so no movement around it should distract from it

shot2
- his head turn from x98 to 101 is too fast; anim wise it almost pops and the audio doesn't have a quick body move in his voice
- I'd soften the Y up/downs a bit more; he still feels a bit poppy overall (watch for instance the SR hand at the beginning of the shot, lots of poppy jiggles)
- once he's on the ground, his hands don't feel planted, they start sliding: SR hand slides before it moves back (or up, visually), and the SL hand slides after the last adjustment, it feels more like an icy surface because of that

shot3
-  this one felt very similar to the previous version (I must have missed a note from you in the last email)
- both hands still have the broken finger poses
- the SL arm still stops very quickly at x249, after it goes up
- the tail still does a side swoosh too many
- her root is still too high so we loose a lot of her head space when she goes forward
- on her last down the root stops on a linear key
- now at the end her eye direction changes, where she goes first looking SL but now at the end she looks almost center down

I'd look at the previous notes and screen caps for that shot as reference.


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The ballet clip is nicely polished now! I only have minor notes:
- the SL arm going up is really nice now, so is the feel after the landing, just watch out for a little pop and one frame direction change at x85, where the arm goes to the left and then suddenly to the right


- the SR arm at x55 would need a little delayed wrist, for a subtle overlap; right now the arm goes up and the wrist goes up, where both end up at x55, but I'd have the wrist a bit more horizontal at x55 and when the arm goes down, that's when the wrist is up like it is on x55


- same thing on x70 among other things: that arm still goes up and kinda stops; make it feel more like the SL arm: arm eases more smoothly into that stop with the wrist pose that you have now, but the moment the arm is stopping the wrist continues a bit to go up so it's less horizontal, which gives it a smoother overlap; and that can transition into the drag once the arm goes down again

- the SR arm stops abruptly on x76; I'd ease into that stop more (not as far down as the green lines suggest, I'm must adding a few frames of ease in after the harsh stop at the red line)


- the SR wrist could drag a tiny bit when the arm goes down around x84


- last thing: when he lands, the head still has an abrupt direction change feeling; it's because on the impact the head moves sideways instead of rotation down to absorb the impact and overlap


Hope this helps!!
JD

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