Richard Clark - Drunk - Critique

This looks really great!

All the actions are in place, I like your 2nd camera, it's all coming together. I only have to broader comments about the ending. One, after he throws up onto the chair, the blue guy's legs are limping over the chair, but sideways towards us, and then the red guy closes the door on him. Normally, there wouldn't be space for legs to be on the side and it's almost painful to see him close the door. His legs are going to be squished! It might just be me. What do you think about the red guy grabbing the blue guy's ankles and lifting the leg up and back, so that the feet rest on the chair, beforfe he closes the door?

- The other thing is the overall timing of the red guy at the end. The dip from x1530 to around x1545 feels a bit fast. I think you could slow it down and make it a bit more "exhausted + sad", someting where it's more of a sigh. You could also just slow this whole action down by 30%, then after x1550, you add a sigh, with shoulders going up and down and a little bit of chest movement. It just feels rushed at the end and I think it's ok to give it a longer beat.

- Anim wise, here my thoughts:

- I should have mentioned that earlier, sorry, but the blue guy on x983, at the very beginning, since he's staying in that pose for a beat, should have his key-holding-arm out screen right, in a free silhouette, so that we can see the key. Unless you move it even more screen left, so it's between his left arm and the left line of his body, as if he's trying to shield the key away from the red guy. Anything you can do for a clearer hand/key silhouette at the beginning.

- Some overall anim notes for polish and for pushing the anim a bit: every time the blue guy leans over to one side, like on x1003, you can tilt the weight bearing foot sideways as well, so his right foot on that frame. That way they are not so stuck IK-ish to the ground and it will make him feel looser as well. Same goes for the red guy. For instance, x1068, as he's leaning over to the right and ready to jump off, from x1066 to 1069 the foot can roll/tilt to the right, so it's a sideways roll off, and not just a regular foot roll. This means a lot of frame by frame work, but it's good when the feet feel more ankered and influenced by the ankle and the root weight shifts.

- I'm not sure if this rig has shoulder controls, but it would be neat to loosen up the shoulders and push the poses with them. Like on x1061, the red guy, as he lifts his arms, it could have the shoulders higher, so it feels more tense. Same on x1085, pushed against the car, the shoulders could be up and back. So overall, involve the shoulders a bit more if possible.

- Watch out for the silhouette on the red guy on x1110. I would bring the hand more screen left so it's not covering his face.

- Watch out for blue-guy-hand intersections from x1309 to 1322, as he's being lifted up.

- I would slow down the lift up a little bit from x1363 to 1368 and not have it stop so quickly either. Right now it goes up quickly and almost comes to a halt for a few frames. It gives it too much of a blocky and jerky feel. Smoothing out that transition would be good.

- The last bounce of the blue guy after he falls could be a bit looser and a tad slower. Look at his foot going up and down, changing direction at x1120. That feels like a linear key. Give it enough hang time. And on the impact at x1123, it could roll off after the impact, not just hit and stop. It will help loosening the whole thing.

- Could you move his hand a bit towards us, so that the hand is in a clear silhouette?

- I would also slow down the arm that he lifts up a tiny bit and extend the hang time a bit. After the drop, it's his last bit of energy he has. If you make it too fast, then it feels like he has enough energy to get up again.

- Watch out for IK-moments, like the right wrist on the red guy at x1457 to 1466. His body goes to the left and the arm is moving, so that would have some movement in the wrist as well. You have it right after that, but I would just have it from the beginning, just super small and ramping up into what you have. As long as you keep the fingers locked, it won't look as if the hand is sliding.

- Speaking of hands, you can also loosen up the fingers of the blue guy. Like on x1466, bring down his right thumb and don't spread out the fingers. Keep the loose and dead, just hanging down, following gravity.

OK, hope that helps! It's really nice work overall!

Cheers
JD