Atle Hillmann - Car crash - Critique

Hey,

alrighty, what I would do now, is hide the eye controller box and put it geometry for the floor, so we can look at intersections. As he's looking around, you want the root to be involved as well, so as the hips are moving around, we need to check it against the floor.

Overall, you're on the right track. What stood out were the IK arms and some fast timing here and there, but you're doing good!

- main area to work on for the next pass (for the same section and beyond) are his arms. The tricky thing about IK arms is that they move independently from the body and in some cases (depending on the rig) also independently from the hands. Looking at your arm/hand that holds the car, the wrist is locked in the same orientation throughout the whole shot, as well as during major body movements, like from x29 to x40. Same goes for the other hand, albeit in a less pronounced way, except from x118 to 123, where the hand goes down and screen left in a very linear way, with no arc and not chest nor shoulder movement is visible, which makes it stand out even more as IK
- that last section with the hand is also too fast; you'd think that he'd be more careful, now that he's found the piece and has the hand so close to the car
- the head turn from x60 to 66 is also a bit too fast; this feels more like he caught some burglar :)
- as mentioned at the beginning, during all those turns with the upper body, you will have to involve the lower body and hips; they are locked right now are not reacting to the body. The legs will move and shift as well, when he turns around (which in turn will have an effect on the feet, otherwise you end up with the locked wrist IK look again)
- his left knee will move when he takes his hand off, since there is a weight change as the hand is not resting on the knee anymore
- lastly, watch out for pops like on x41 to 42 (his left leg)

One more tip for IK arms. You want to emulate FK arms as much as possible. When the body rotates, the arm rotates with it. Of course you don't want it all to happen as one unit and at the same time, so you offset the arms a bit, depending on the action. But even then, it will still feel like the body is influencing the arms, which is more believable, than IK arms, where they are completely detached.

Hope that makes sense!
Cheers
JD

Roman Kobryn - Kill - Critique

Very cool! It's really coming together!! Here my thoughts:

Body:

- there's something linear either in his chest or root at x121 to 122, when the body goes up and then screen left; I'd smooth out that transition more; actually, during that section, he seems to lean over to his left, but then his left leg gets off the lower window/balcony thingie, so he would be unbalanced, yet he raises the leg to x123 and then not much more until around x130. So this looks more like he's leaning over to his left, to then push off the left leg which makes him lean back to his right, so in that case, I would keep the left leg where it is a bit longer, like around x135 and don't have any up movement from x120 to 125
- eye closing at x106 feels even in timing
- on "HIM", could add a little bit of eye brow movement, where they move towards the middle, just a bit, for a little crunch; subtle, but it would add a touch or tension
- this could be nothing, but watch out for his left hand/forearm going through his back from x47 to 80

Lipsync:

- the "Jesuit" part looks great!
- after "rebel", I'm not too sure about the upper lip being so high. I like the idea of keeping the mouth open, but when I watched the clip for the first time, that part felt weird.
- "both" you could push the "B" shape (curl/roll in the lips more) and the "TH" shape; you want to show a separation between the "O" moment and the "TH" moment, so "O" will have the mouth corners further in, so that it can relax out a bit on "TH"
- "Him" needs curled in lips as well; nothing crazy, but just like the "B" moment, there needs to be a difference between a default closed shape and a lips pressed together shape
- lastly for "Man" and "me" the same, but a tiny bit, more subtle than the previous shapes, but all for contrast

I'm sure you're aware of it, but just in case, make sure to color his eye balls white and give him a different shirt. :)

JD

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique

Your new version looks a lot better, nice job making the tweaks!

The first few things that still stood out though were:

- screen right hand around x172 and on, is still in that flat pose and creates a weird silhouette. Plus it makes him lok too controlled and elegant, yet he's yelling and upset, so the fingers fight against that mood.

- "going" mouth shape still feels flat. The "i" part could be exaggerated, so it's more "Go-iiing", with one corner of the mouth higher than the other

- flip through x248/249 and you'll see how the screen right arm is locked and that ends up being an abrupt stop as the arm goes up. Don't stop the momentum so hard, finish the upward move with an arc and a down movement for a settle

​ - x252 on, his turn back to us, the head is better, but the upper chest feels like it's just moving in Y; would be good to add a bit more complexity to it

That's it! You're almost there!
JD

Alon Helman - Jump - Critique

I'm not too concerned about the speed. It works for me now, but it's hard to know how much faster you went. You can always render it faster with the speed that you like. Also depends how stylized you want to go.

The changes work pretty well, especially the added frame in the root. I'm still not a big fan on his right foot pose at x18. I would rotate that more in, it looks kinda broken. You could start on x16 with a more inward tilt and rotation and then go further on x18.
This may sound picky, but his right foot feels like it's slowing down before the impact a bit too much. I would delete x27 and go from x26 to 28 (so x28 happens on x27). It won't be super harsh because the toes are still up for one frame and then there's a full plant. That will soften it enough. But right now it's a bit too soft.



I'm a bit hesitant now about the speed up, after looping it for a while. And only because of his head spacing from x16 to 18. It's already borderline fast, so with a speed up, that will get too fast. You will have to adjust that if you speed everything up.

Sorry if I didn't see that before, but at the beginning, when he leans screen left, his left foot is moving as well, so there's nothing that motivates the root translation. You need that foot to be planted so that it can push the root screen left. If you delay the foot from getting of the ground it might make the step before the jump a bit too fast. If that's the case, just add a few frames to the beginning of your shot, have him lean to the left during those added frames so that the weight distribution is working better and then lift the foot for the step and push off.

On x21 I would bring the arm a bit more back so that you have a cleaner silhouette and make a fist (the hand pose feels a bit soft).



You can open up the hand after around x26.
Watch out for hand/floor intersections on x31 and 40+.

Hope that helps!
JD

Bruno Andrade - Dino Fight - Critique

Hahahahaha!! That's kinda brutal!!

My first impression was, too bad I missed the fight! :) Maybe you can cut on action where the dino is falling down? But that might be too much. What's your story behind this?

Pose wise the kid feels pretty good. I would maybe get a stronger silhouette at the beginning. x1 his axe is in front of the body, with the screen right edge aligned kinda with the right edge of his arm. x99 and 105 have really strong posing, so I would make x93 a bit more dynamic as well.
After the slash on x115, it would be cool to feel more of an impact in his body. I think that the axe also comes off too softly. It would be cool for the axe to be stuck in the body a bit more, so when he pulls it out, the dino body gets pulled with it for a moment and then plumps down when the axe gets out.
In his last poses, like x191, I would angle the axe a bit more down vertically, so that it looks heavier. It might get trick with the silhouette, but after a big fight, and given his panting at the end, he should be more tired and not able to hold that axe so easily with one arm. Or, he's using the axe as a cane, with the blade on the ground and he's leaning on it for support. Maybe?

JD

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique

​The shot looks great overall, here is just my super picky point of view.

For the polish stuff, I usually attack it section by section​. And section wise, I start with the body parts that will affect all other body parts, meaning, I start with the root first and work through smaller and smaller sections, ending with fingers and facial work. So, let's do it:

The root seems fine overall, but there are little areas I would tweak:

- when he first comes out and rises, there's a sticky frame, on x118. Flip through x117 and 118 fast and you'll see how there's big spacing from x116 to 117 and then a sudden stop. Just keep going up a bit to soften that, then one more frame going up a TINY bit or down a little bit and then feather into what you have, ending on the down around x129. It's okay for him to go up faster, since it's his legs pushing, but give it enough hang time, since it's the body that falls down and it's not going down by another force than gravity. He's not being pulled down, so avoid crazy stops or sudden one frame direction changes. Of course, in a more cartoony clip it can be okay, but looking at your overall style and timing choices, it's not something like Pocoyo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QFfzI2tJDg). :)

- from x145 to 146 it feels like a linear key. You could go down a bit less over one frame and then feather into what you have, so it's not so abrupt. Watch out how everything seems to start no that frame. Head goes up, arm gets off the door wall, so break it up. By slowing down the root it will reduce the sudden head drag (even if it's just a frame), and delay the arm by 2 frames.

- watch out how the root goes down in a vertical way from x145 to 149, and then up and to the left diagonally until x153. It's very straight and I'm missing an arc, plus the direction change from x149 to 150 could be smoother (which it will be if you give it a nicer arc)

- there's a great arc and nice timing on his jump and down around x156; I would bring that type of feel to the direction change at x167 as well

- watch your spacing after that though, from x171 to 172 it feels like the root is a bit too far left; you were going down a specific arc and then suddenly on that frame it pops to the left; then after that frame, you stop the screen left momentum and just have the root come towards us over two frames, and then there's a sudden direction change up without an ease out on x174 to 175; same no x178 where he's going up and left, and then over one frame he stops going up and goes screen right. That whole sections feels a bit messy arc wise and spacing wise.

- the rest feels fine until around x225, where he does the weight shift ending around x240. I can see a hip rotation, but it feels a bit locked in space. I would have the root translate a bit screen left, since that side of the hip goes up, meaning that it bears more weight than the other side. But if you don't show a root shift, then it just looks like a ship pose change without any center of weight and balance change.

​Head

- on his way up around x154, I would tilt the head to the left (rotate counter clock wise), so it's not so vertical all the time; I think it can point towards the spot he's going a bit more

- watch out for x161 to 162. The head goes down and then suddenly does just a horizontal screen left move; it looks like you're rotating the head in Y, but then at x164 you rotate it back the other way; that little section feels too "translate-y"

- on the up around x167 and on the down around x171, then back up around x177, etc. I would tilt the head as well. It's good that it's broken up from the body and it's not like you want it to snake around during each hope; it's just that it feels a bit too locked in the vertical axis

- breaking it up with a sideways tilt will help the direction change after x179, where the head first goes screen left and then suddenly screen right. You could have the head move and rotate screen right a bit earlier, so that he's leading that action with his head a bit more (now that the audio starts); it will also help you with the sticky frame, when flipping back and forth through x178 to 179 (watch the top line of the head over 176 to 181 and you'll see how the head goes up and suddenly stops)

- the head shake during "where you're going" feels a bit too locked in the horizontal Y rotation; you could have it a bit more complex with up and down arcs

- since you already had a head shake, I would tone it down during the "I was gonna make..." part, it could just go one way horizontally (screen left) with more up and down accents based on the audio, and then go screen right after x240

- when you do go to the right, watch the arc from x240 to 245, it's very flat and could be pushed a bit more; same goes on the way back to x261

- I would actually add 5 to 10 frames to the end, so we can linger a bit more on that sad face. Right now it just cuts out after the head turn is done, which feels a bit abrupt

Arms/Hands

- screen left goes up until around x161 and then it moves more to the left until x164, then straight up again until x167, where it stops and sticks (and forms a tangent with the fingertips right at the framing edge), then it drops in a pretty straight line and then suddenly to the left around x172; so overall the arcs and spacing needs a bit more love, also watch out how the wrist is mostly in the same up rotation, giving it a bit of an IK feel; it continues with a left arc that suddenly flattens going from x173, to 174 and 175

- for the screen right arm after x161 I'd watch out for his hand and finger poses. The fingers seem a bit flat, with a a few exceptions at x170, with the area standing out the most being x172 to 176 (the same wrist orientation and finger pose)

- watch out for the finger curling at x191 to 194, with all the fingers doing the same thing and at the same time

- the screen right arm feels a bit even and IK-ish from x223 to 241, then the arc is a bit flat up to 247, with a sudden stop at x248 and then a drifty feeling lowering of the arm until the end

Feet:

- on x156, the front foot could be tilted more clockwise, same on x157, so that it only flattens once it's planted

Shoulder:

- on the drop from x201 to 209, they feel a bit isolated; you could drop and rotate the chest a bit forward, so that the surrounding body parts are more connected to and affected by each other

Eyes:

- the blink from x134 to 140 feels a bit linear in timing and too blocky. And on the up, there could be a little bit of a jaw change, so that this surprised look is not just isolated to the eye/brow area

- watch out for eye line problems like no x168, where he looks up, or x190 where he looks down

- watch the back foot how it goes up to x161 and then moves pretty horizontally until around x163, so watch your arcs during that area

Mouth:

- on x194, at the end of "going?", it could have a more pronounced "EEEE" shape, with the corners of the mouth more asymmetrical, so that the mouth shape is not so even and flat

- I wouldn't close the mouth on x200, I think it would feel more natural and working with the audio if his mouth was always open

BAM! Hope that helps! :)
JD

Rouzbeh Ghasemi - Vacuum - Critique

​The arms look a lot better! Overall the clip is really strong! It's a sweet demo reel piece!

Here a few tweaks I would look into:

- his right elbow pops to the right from x223 to 225, looking like the arm is overextending. You can bring down the shoulder to smooth that out

- look at the right wrist and vacuum from x229 to 230, flip back and forth and you'll see how it's pivoting off the grey little thingie underneath the vacuum; then from x230 to 231 it all pops screen right; what you can do is this: track that grey thingie from x226 to 227, it's starting a screen right move, but then goes straight down on x228, keep it going to the right a little bit, same onto 229 and 230, so that by 230 it won't have to go as far to the right onto 231, which will reduce the pop

- his right wrist pops up over two frames from x246 to to 248

- the hip/root feels like it's drifting screen right from x222 to 235; it's just even in timing, so I would slow it down more at the beginning; I like the ambient move, but just tie it more to the rest of the body action, so it doesn't feel like a separate drift

- the thumb could need one more inbetween when it's pushing the button (x63, 110, 113, 134, 136). Big moves like that over one frame feel too poppy

That would be my priority and if you have time left, you could do one more pass on the his right arm about the IK. It's definitely better and it doesn't look IK anymore, it just feels like it (and only from the beginning to x152). I know that sounds silly but there is a difference.

Hope that helps!
JD