Friday, July 29, 2011

Mike Wilson - Espresso - Critique

​The shot looks great overall, here is just my super picky point of view.

For the polish stuff, I usually attack it section by section​. And section wise, I start with the body parts that will affect all other body parts, meaning, I start with the root first and work through smaller and smaller sections, ending with fingers and facial work. So, let's do it:

The root seems fine overall, but there are little areas I would tweak:

- when he first comes out and rises, there's a sticky frame, on x118. Flip through x117 and 118 fast and you'll see how there's big spacing from x116 to 117 and then a sudden stop. Just keep going up a bit to soften that, then one more frame going up a TINY bit or down a little bit and then feather into what you have, ending on the down around x129. It's okay for him to go up faster, since it's his legs pushing, but give it enough hang time, since it's the body that falls down and it's not going down by another force than gravity. He's not being pulled down, so avoid crazy stops or sudden one frame direction changes. Of course, in a more cartoony clip it can be okay, but looking at your overall style and timing choices, it's not something like Pocoyo ( :)

- from x145 to 146 it feels like a linear key. You could go down a bit less over one frame and then feather into what you have, so it's not so abrupt. Watch out how everything seems to start no that frame. Head goes up, arm gets off the door wall, so break it up. By slowing down the root it will reduce the sudden head drag (even if it's just a frame), and delay the arm by 2 frames.

- watch out how the root goes down in a vertical way from x145 to 149, and then up and to the left diagonally until x153. It's very straight and I'm missing an arc, plus the direction change from x149 to 150 could be smoother (which it will be if you give it a nicer arc)

- there's a great arc and nice timing on his jump and down around x156; I would bring that type of feel to the direction change at x167 as well

- watch your spacing after that though, from x171 to 172 it feels like the root is a bit too far left; you were going down a specific arc and then suddenly on that frame it pops to the left; then after that frame, you stop the screen left momentum and just have the root come towards us over two frames, and then there's a sudden direction change up without an ease out on x174 to 175; same no x178 where he's going up and left, and then over one frame he stops going up and goes screen right. That whole sections feels a bit messy arc wise and spacing wise.

- the rest feels fine until around x225, where he does the weight shift ending around x240. I can see a hip rotation, but it feels a bit locked in space. I would have the root translate a bit screen left, since that side of the hip goes up, meaning that it bears more weight than the other side. But if you don't show a root shift, then it just looks like a ship pose change without any center of weight and balance change.


- on his way up around x154, I would tilt the head to the left (rotate counter clock wise), so it's not so vertical all the time; I think it can point towards the spot he's going a bit more

- watch out for x161 to 162. The head goes down and then suddenly does just a horizontal screen left move; it looks like you're rotating the head in Y, but then at x164 you rotate it back the other way; that little section feels too "translate-y"

- on the up around x167 and on the down around x171, then back up around x177, etc. I would tilt the head as well. It's good that it's broken up from the body and it's not like you want it to snake around during each hope; it's just that it feels a bit too locked in the vertical axis

- breaking it up with a sideways tilt will help the direction change after x179, where the head first goes screen left and then suddenly screen right. You could have the head move and rotate screen right a bit earlier, so that he's leading that action with his head a bit more (now that the audio starts); it will also help you with the sticky frame, when flipping back and forth through x178 to 179 (watch the top line of the head over 176 to 181 and you'll see how the head goes up and suddenly stops)

- the head shake during "where you're going" feels a bit too locked in the horizontal Y rotation; you could have it a bit more complex with up and down arcs

- since you already had a head shake, I would tone it down during the "I was gonna make..." part, it could just go one way horizontally (screen left) with more up and down accents based on the audio, and then go screen right after x240

- when you do go to the right, watch the arc from x240 to 245, it's very flat and could be pushed a bit more; same goes on the way back to x261

- I would actually add 5 to 10 frames to the end, so we can linger a bit more on that sad face. Right now it just cuts out after the head turn is done, which feels a bit abrupt


- screen left goes up until around x161 and then it moves more to the left until x164, then straight up again until x167, where it stops and sticks (and forms a tangent with the fingertips right at the framing edge), then it drops in a pretty straight line and then suddenly to the left around x172; so overall the arcs and spacing needs a bit more love, also watch out how the wrist is mostly in the same up rotation, giving it a bit of an IK feel; it continues with a left arc that suddenly flattens going from x173, to 174 and 175

- for the screen right arm after x161 I'd watch out for his hand and finger poses. The fingers seem a bit flat, with a a few exceptions at x170, with the area standing out the most being x172 to 176 (the same wrist orientation and finger pose)

- watch out for the finger curling at x191 to 194, with all the fingers doing the same thing and at the same time

- the screen right arm feels a bit even and IK-ish from x223 to 241, then the arc is a bit flat up to 247, with a sudden stop at x248 and then a drifty feeling lowering of the arm until the end


- on x156, the front foot could be tilted more clockwise, same on x157, so that it only flattens once it's planted


- on the drop from x201 to 209, they feel a bit isolated; you could drop and rotate the chest a bit forward, so that the surrounding body parts are more connected to and affected by each other


- the blink from x134 to 140 feels a bit linear in timing and too blocky. And on the up, there could be a little bit of a jaw change, so that this surprised look is not just isolated to the eye/brow area

- watch out for eye line problems like no x168, where he looks up, or x190 where he looks down

- watch the back foot how it goes up to x161 and then moves pretty horizontally until around x163, so watch your arcs during that area


- on x194, at the end of "going?", it could have a more pronounced "EEEE" shape, with the corners of the mouth more asymmetrical, so that the mouth shape is not so even and flat

- I wouldn't close the mouth on x200, I think it would feel more natural and working with the audio if his mouth was always open

BAM! Hope that helps! :)

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