Allison Myers - Getting up - Critique

Hey,

that's looks overall pretty good. It would be good to know a bit more about what you're allowed to do with the shot and what the direction is.

Right now, I like how he sits and how he gets up. After that it does get a bit funky pose wise. For instance, x51, screen right leg gets overextended. The walk afterwards feels a bit funky because of how high he lifts his legs, like on x83.

I'm asking about the direction because the pose you have when he sits looks very relaxed, maybe even bored, but not excited or energetic. But once he gets up, his attitude changes. So without any shot knowledge I would say either change the sitting pose or change his get up and walk anim so it's more consistent. But that's up to your teacher, I don't want to interfere with the direction.

From a technical point of view, watch out that the hand is firmly planted on the armrest when he gets up, so that the feeling of weight is there. Around x50 I would keep the screen right arm angled back instead of forward, so that when he uses that arm to push himself off, you keep it back there to reinforce that visual point. So I would delay that forward swing a bit.

​ As mentioned before, don't overstretch the legs and once he starts walking, make sure that there are no sudden forward movements root wise, like from x64 to 65.

Cheers
JD

Allison Myers - Sack - Critique

That's cute! :)

There are little things I'd tweak:

- it looks like the body back and forth at the beginning is done mostly through translation? It would be good to cut that in half and add rotation as well. Right now the upper body part with the arms and hands is stuck in the same pose and it globally moves as a whole back and forth

- when he gets up on around x130, it doesn't feel like he's leaning over his legs for proper center of gravity and like he's using his legs to push off. But if you want to make it an explosive jump, you could cheat it by having the guy squash first and then jump up, so it's more like a 2D take.

- looking at the path of the root from x134 to 137 he moves screen left, but after that frame he stops and falls straight down. You'd have to either continue that screen left arc or jump up in a straight line. You will also have to add a few more frame for the hang time at the highest point. Right now it feels like he's accelerating up and then suddenly coming down.

Hope that helps!
Cheers

JD

Wini Wang - Walk and Pill - Critique

Hey,

The walk is very nice, I like it! The immediate reaction was that he's a bit slow, you could speed it up by 10%. There's just something soft and slow to it. But I would try this first:

- reduce the overlap in his wrists (sideview), especially on the front part. When the arms are back and coming forward it's better, but when they are in front of him and going back, that drag is too big. So reduce that by at least 50% and speed it up.

Part of that slow-mo feel are those super slow moving hands and huge overlap.

- speed up the downward movement of the head after each step, which will give it a greater impact and feel of weight.

I think those two will help you with the slow mo feel.

Other than that:

- front view: x19, the screen right side of the hip is already tilted up, but the character is only now putting his weight on that leg (just because the foot is down doesn't mean that the weight is on it). So on x19 keep the hips horizontal, set a linear key on that frame and leave the rest of the key so that on x22 for instance the hip rotation is the same as you have now. It will give it more weight too.
- front view: make sure that the fingers don't go through the leg (especially screen right)
- I would reduce the shoulder down movement after each step by 50%. It makes them look very bouncy and soft otherwise.
- it might just be me but it looks like you have some eyebrow bouncing stuff going on after each step. If that's there, take it out. It just adds to that squishy, soft feeling.

The pill clip:

That one is great, super cute!

My only comments would be:
- add a little piece of black on x299. The amount of his body that's exiting frame from x298 to 299 is too much, which makes it feel like a pop.
- acting wise, the moment around x87 is weird. When I first watched it, the pill looked like a ninja. He hurries in, slides, stops and then looks screen left. So to me, it looks like he's on a mission and it's not a relaxed Sunday stroll.
But then he looks back to screen right and just stands there (x92), then he slides slowly to a position around x119 where people would still see him outside. Only by around x150 does he truly feel hidden behind the wall. So that whole middle part just feels out of character.
I would go from x74 into a squash while still looking screen left and then do a super quick slide to x147, then continue with what you have.

Nice work, keep going!
Cheers
JD

Charlie Hong - Fight - Critique

Let's look at the cuts and the sequence flow first:

- shot one works pretty well. Since you already have a moving camera, you could add a few thing. Either keep it the way you have it until x168, but then when he stays in that pose, pan a bit to the right. Right now the character is smack in the middle of the frame. The eyes are in the center both horizontally and vertically. I would have it at least more screen left, so you have more empty room screen right. I would also raise him a bit so that his eye line is above the middle center line.
Or. You have composition so that on x154ish he's more screen right, a bit off center to the right, and when he gets into his fighting pose on x167 you pan the camera to the right so that you get to the above mentioned composition.
When he exits frame at the end, you can leave the camera, or pan with him to the right a bit. I would try the pan, and actually continue with the pan at the beginning of shot 2 until the guy lands on x17.
- shot 2 works, but you might want to give the above not a try. Since it's a fight sequence, a little bit of camera work could make it more dynamic. It's worth a shot. If it's meh, then you can just leave it out.
- the cut from shot 2 to shot 3 is a bit weird. Frame back and forth between the two shots. It feels like it's the same angle, just zoomed out a bit. I would find a different composition so we're not going from center framing to center framing and also change the angle. So maybe we see the back of the mustache guy and when he throws the other guy around by the end he's facing us again.

​ - same thing with shot 3 to 4. Frame back and forth and you have the same size for the bald guy. At least his angle is different, but it's still so similar, that it feels like the mustache guy just disappeared. Your symmetrical set doesn't help, since any camera angle change will end up being similar set wise.

- the cuts afterwards work better.


Alright, let's look at the anim, which is already really cool! There are few things I'd look out for as you continue.

Shot1:

- watch out for twinning and repetitive actions!

- the arms come up and get together pretty much at the same time with the only difference being the screen left wrist

- when he inhales and exhales both arms move together

- when he strikes the attack pose, it's just a back and forth between pose A and pose; break it up and have maybe an overall body rising (spine up rotation?), so that there is a gradual difference, and not just a repeat

- the tension after x210 gets lost because he relaxes his arms and the walk off is a bit slow; you have that "YEAHHH ATTACK!!!!!" moment followed by a "Alright... let's start moving along..." moment. So that intensity deflates. :)

- watch out for symmetrical facial shapes, vary the left and right sides a bit

Shot2:

- works much better!

- watch out for silhouette and overlapping characters: x19 for instance, since you have room, I would separate the two guys so that there is negative space between them. The mustache guy is in front of the bald guy's hands (there's already an overlap at x14), and it stays until x31, where both heads over overlapping, the arms of the bald guy are almost hidden, etc. Look at x34, 35 and 36. The fact that the bald guy is blocking the mustache guy's arm is a bit muddled by the silhouette. I know you have big heads and small arms, but that moment doesn't register as well as other moments of the fight (x53 is cool!)

- arm silhouette of mustache guy on x76 is muddled again.

- the bald guy is reacting to the foot kick too early. There's a rise on x78, which should be on x79 or 80

- the kick makes the bald guy go up and down in a way where it looks like he's at position A, going up to B, then landing back to A. Make sure you go from A to B to C, for maximum contrast and complexity. You don't want to repeat poses, actions or positions

Shot3:

- the bald guy goes up before the mustache guy is pulling him up before the push off. Make sure that the mustache guy is driving the action

- watch the path and arc of mustache guy when he lands. It's going down and screen left until x40, then down and screen right for two frames to x42, then just stops. Don't change direction and give the character time to settle.

- the body of the bald guy is a bit simple as it flies. He could rotate sideways a bit during the fall so that he lands on his shoulder first, instead of flat on, which would give it a bit more of a complex landing; right now it's a bit too simplistic

- if you do that it will change the bounce, but as it is now: the bounce and body/head rotation up feels a bit too simple. The body rotation just goes up and then down, no sideways or twisting motion; the arms are a bit soft on the impact and there's a sense of twinning again. One arm could be back just for body pose contrast

Shot4:

- I'd separate the two guys again, so that mustache guy's hand is not in front of the bald guy's head (x58 area covering the eye and at the end)

- it looks like you're overstretching the bald guy's screen left IK arm; don't forget to involve shoulders

- after he gets up and looks at the mustache guy his screen left arm feels a bit floaty, the head also rotates down a bit slowly

- at the end of shot 3 and the beginning of shot 4 the bald guy's eyes are just staring forward, which doesn't make it look like the guy is thinking, there are no eye darts, nothing that indicates thought process, which makes them feel a bit puppet like

- mustache guy's right foot lands pretty horizontally, would be good to rotate and tilt it a bit more so it's not so conveniently flat

Shot5:

- works pretty well, just keep the body animation going. It feels like body parts gradually stop moving until only the fingers move for the last few frames; it will also help getting rid of the everything-is-stopping-at-the-same-time feel

Shot6:

- don't forget to animate mustache guy! :)

- the body of the bald guy feels good, except for the huge head rotating around! I would minimize the up down movement while the legs go up, it will help break up the body and head connection. Right now it feels like the body and head are one unit that rotate together

Shot7:

- this one is tricky again in terms of silhouette; look for overlapping moments like x22, 29 (turning wheel thing if front of the face), green guy's punching arm not visible on x45, 46, 47, 48, even 49 (upper body and forearm feel like one piece visually and fist is in front of chin

- huge pop on mustache guy from x27 to 28

- mustache guy's hips don't really move in Y during that body rotating back move to x28 and forward again to 43

- another big pop from x48 to 49 on mustache guy, same from x49 to 50 (like his right arm swing)

- the both kinda freeze at the end, although bald guy doesn't move a tiny bit; is that supposed to cut out earlier?

Alright! Hope that helps!

Cheers
JD

Allison Myers - Bouncing ball - Critique

Hey,

Alright, looks already good! Let's check out the left ball first:

- I would keep the frames 5, cut x6, keep 7, then cut out 8 and 9, keep 10 and 11. Right now you squash, the slowly go into a stretch pose, then it lifts off. You want to a squash and then a quick push off. So x7 will ease you out of that squash and then x10 will be the transition into the quick push off.

- after x51 you're slowing the ball down a bit too much; it could hit it a bit faster and therefore sooner. The ball would then bounce off immediately to the left, I wouldn't have x56 to 57 where the ball slides up

- the tail overlaps a bit early on x17, I would delay that by 3 frames or so; same with x29 to 30, that's a quick forward move over one frame; same again at x44 to 45

- there's a weird tail section where the tail goes down from x73 to 74, then the tip seems to stick in the air until x76, then suddenly drops on x77; I'd rework the spacing during that section

- watch out for the tail at x163, it's moving screen right and then left again, keep it to the left so it's just dragging. Right now it's a bit too jittery.

heavy ball:

- it's a bit weird how the heavy ball goes back and then stops abruptly at x61; it then sticks until it moves again on x65. I would have the block move in a way so that it motivates the ball to roll forward again. Right now with that stop and flat surface, it looks like the ball is moving forward on its own.

- The drop from x80 to 81 is a bit big, I would ease out of that a bit more and have gradual spacing and acceleration

- You could lower the first bounce a TINY bit; watch your forward translation, it's fairly big and then from x86 to 87 it's suddenly small, there's a weird slowdown, and then it gets faster to x89 again, so smooth out that forward translation

- reduce the height of the 2nd bounce by 50%

- ease more into the stop at x122 so it's not so abrupt.

That's it! Nice work, keep going!
Cheers

JD