Thursday, March 3, 2011

Charlie Hong - Fight - Critique

video

Let's look at the cuts and the sequence flow first:

- shot one works pretty well. Since you already have a moving camera, you could add a few thing. Either keep it the way you have it until x168, but then when he stays in that pose, pan a bit to the right. Right now the character is smack in the middle of the frame. The eyes are in the center both horizontally and vertically. I would have it at least more screen left, so you have more empty room screen right. I would also raise him a bit so that his eye line is above the middle center line.
Or. You have composition so that on x154ish he's more screen right, a bit off center to the right, and when he gets into his fighting pose on x167 you pan the camera to the right so that you get to the above mentioned composition.
When he exits frame at the end, you can leave the camera, or pan with him to the right a bit. I would try the pan, and actually continue with the pan at the beginning of shot 2 until the guy lands on x17.
- shot 2 works, but you might want to give the above not a try. Since it's a fight sequence, a little bit of camera work could make it more dynamic. It's worth a shot. If it's meh, then you can just leave it out.
- the cut from shot 2 to shot 3 is a bit weird. Frame back and forth between the two shots. It feels like it's the same angle, just zoomed out a bit. I would find a different composition so we're not going from center framing to center framing and also change the angle. So maybe we see the back of the mustache guy and when he throws the other guy around by the end he's facing us again.

​ - same thing with shot 3 to 4. Frame back and forth and you have the same size for the bald guy. At least his angle is different, but it's still so similar, that it feels like the mustache guy just disappeared. Your symmetrical set doesn't help, since any camera angle change will end up being similar set wise.

- the cuts afterwards work better.


Alright, let's look at the anim, which is already really cool! There are few things I'd look out for as you continue.

Shot1:

- watch out for twinning and repetitive actions!

- the arms come up and get together pretty much at the same time with the only difference being the screen left wrist

- when he inhales and exhales both arms move together

- when he strikes the attack pose, it's just a back and forth between pose A and pose; break it up and have maybe an overall body rising (spine up rotation?), so that there is a gradual difference, and not just a repeat

- the tension after x210 gets lost because he relaxes his arms and the walk off is a bit slow; you have that "YEAHHH ATTACK!!!!!" moment followed by a "Alright... let's start moving along..." moment. So that intensity deflates. :)

- watch out for symmetrical facial shapes, vary the left and right sides a bit

Shot2:

- works much better!

- watch out for silhouette and overlapping characters: x19 for instance, since you have room, I would separate the two guys so that there is negative space between them. The mustache guy is in front of the bald guy's hands (there's already an overlap at x14), and it stays until x31, where both heads over overlapping, the arms of the bald guy are almost hidden, etc. Look at x34, 35 and 36. The fact that the bald guy is blocking the mustache guy's arm is a bit muddled by the silhouette. I know you have big heads and small arms, but that moment doesn't register as well as other moments of the fight (x53 is cool!)

- arm silhouette of mustache guy on x76 is muddled again.

- the bald guy is reacting to the foot kick too early. There's a rise on x78, which should be on x79 or 80

- the kick makes the bald guy go up and down in a way where it looks like he's at position A, going up to B, then landing back to A. Make sure you go from A to B to C, for maximum contrast and complexity. You don't want to repeat poses, actions or positions

Shot3:

- the bald guy goes up before the mustache guy is pulling him up before the push off. Make sure that the mustache guy is driving the action

- watch the path and arc of mustache guy when he lands. It's going down and screen left until x40, then down and screen right for two frames to x42, then just stops. Don't change direction and give the character time to settle.

- the body of the bald guy is a bit simple as it flies. He could rotate sideways a bit during the fall so that he lands on his shoulder first, instead of flat on, which would give it a bit more of a complex landing; right now it's a bit too simplistic

- if you do that it will change the bounce, but as it is now: the bounce and body/head rotation up feels a bit too simple. The body rotation just goes up and then down, no sideways or twisting motion; the arms are a bit soft on the impact and there's a sense of twinning again. One arm could be back just for body pose contrast

Shot4:

- I'd separate the two guys again, so that mustache guy's hand is not in front of the bald guy's head (x58 area covering the eye and at the end)

- it looks like you're overstretching the bald guy's screen left IK arm; don't forget to involve shoulders

- after he gets up and looks at the mustache guy his screen left arm feels a bit floaty, the head also rotates down a bit slowly

- at the end of shot 3 and the beginning of shot 4 the bald guy's eyes are just staring forward, which doesn't make it look like the guy is thinking, there are no eye darts, nothing that indicates thought process, which makes them feel a bit puppet like

- mustache guy's right foot lands pretty horizontally, would be good to rotate and tilt it a bit more so it's not so conveniently flat

Shot5:

- works pretty well, just keep the body animation going. It feels like body parts gradually stop moving until only the fingers move for the last few frames; it will also help getting rid of the everything-is-stopping-at-the-same-time feel

Shot6:

- don't forget to animate mustache guy! :)

- the body of the bald guy feels good, except for the huge head rotating around! I would minimize the up down movement while the legs go up, it will help break up the body and head connection. Right now it feels like the body and head are one unit that rotate together

Shot7:

- this one is tricky again in terms of silhouette; look for overlapping moments like x22, 29 (turning wheel thing if front of the face), green guy's punching arm not visible on x45, 46, 47, 48, even 49 (upper body and forearm feel like one piece visually and fist is in front of chin

- huge pop on mustache guy from x27 to 28

- mustache guy's hips don't really move in Y during that body rotating back move to x28 and forward again to 43

- another big pop from x48 to 49 on mustache guy, same from x49 to 50 (like his right arm swing)

- the both kinda freeze at the end, although bald guy doesn't move a tiny bit; is that supposed to cut out earlier?

Alright! Hope that helps!

Cheers
JD

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