Thursday, February 2, 2012

Lukas Niklaus - Bottles - Critique

video

Overall it's coming together nicely, especially now that you've gone from stepped to spline mode. We get to see more of the timing for his movements. My general impression so far:

- his walk from x1 to around x39 feels a bit flat, it would be great to have a bit more weight and attitude to it; it's as if he's being rolled in on a cart :)

- the screen left movement stops a bit abruptly after x40 where he goes to the right and then to the left again (at x51) and then he stops and moves quickly screen right again to x68; I feel like the weight shifts and direction changes could be smoothed out so that the momentum for each movement doesn't get suddenly lost (especially at the beginning where he walks out behind the walk to around x40)

- another quick move happens around x41 wit the head, moving screen right to x46, then to 47 there's no screen right movement, then to 48 it's moving again

- when he puts the bottle up to take a sip at x15, I would hold x15 a bit longer, so you give it a beat for the water to go into his mouth and for him to start swallowing; right now the timing feels like he's just putting it on his lips and then immediately lowering the bottle; the timing of him lowering the bottle is also a bit even

- x61 he feels slightly off balance to the left; I would slow down the move from right to left (as mentioned above with the momentum changes), which will help with reducing how far he has to go screen left so that the momentum doesn't have to suddenly stop

- x174 to 190 feels a bit too snakey, how he leads with the head and moves forward, it felt a bit awkward and more creature like (and watch out for overstretching his left leg after x185)

- watch out for pops (due to constraints?) on his arms at x218 to 219

- on x303, his expression reminds me more of distrust and some aggressive sneakiness! :) What do you think about a more panicked look?

- his right arm moves a bit too fast from x288 to 293

- his rising after x304 feels a bit fast, I would ease out of that more, slow him down at the beginning

- he also feels a bit off balance, leaning back, from x310 to his standing pose into x332; either move the root forward or bring his right leg back screen left

- watch out for spacial stickiness on x393, with his left arm, until x399; it kinda sticks in space

- it will be fun too to add a bit more personality in his exit walk/run at the end

Hope this helps!!
JD

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