Thursday, March 29, 2012

Jihwan Jung - Contract and Bunny - Critique

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Alright, the contract clip:

Love the ending!! That's it! Nicely done! The only picky thing would be, it looks like your root is slowing down during the last couple frames, like your tangents are flat. I would keep it going, as if he's going to take a few more steps after the end of the shot. But that's it otherwise!!!

The other things are picky, but I mentioned it before ("bad" shape and closing fingers a few frames earlier), so I'm not sure now if you got that mail. :(

When he says "bad", the down rotation of the jaw is too fast, the "Ba.." pops down. Actually, in this version, the whole beginning feels poppy going from shape to shape. I would tone down the extremes a bit, so that the transitions are not so fast. And for the "bad" part, if you look at x65, that's an O shape, so I would go (shape wise) from x63 to a shape like on x69, and for the hold, stay more within x73, so that the mouth is a bit more open, more than what you have at x79.

The whole body moves at x177 to 178. I would offset all of this, so that the screen left arm moves first, then the chest (because it's influenced by the arm), then the other arm, then the root, etc. that way it's not so pose to pose. And before the arm moves, I would curl in the fingers two frames earlier, to lead that action and show the firing of the finger muscles before the arm muscles fire up.

Did you add that blink at x177? It feels a bit odd, but it's just the timing. The lids go down over two frames, I would have them go over three. The added frame would be between x175 and 176, just another breakdown, so that the lids ease more out of that stare. But start the the whole thing at x176 and end it at 179, so that the blink happens more during body move. Right now it's a quick blink with a hold on the close pose, but all that happens before the body moves back, so it stands out. I'd just mix that a bit more.

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Ok, "amusement" park:

Let's go with the bunny first:

- his wave at the beginning feels too separate from the rest of the body; the arm rotates back and forth, but it looks like you're going from A to B then back to A, etc. it's the same keys, just repeated. Timing wise it also feels the same, until when he leans to the side, then it feels faster, but the back and forth is still even timing wise. So I would make that a bit more natural and vary the timing a bit more. The chest would also move with the arm a bit more, to make the arm feel more connected
- watch out for the head spacing, after he's getting hit; the head goes down (spacing looks fairly even, should accelerate and slow down) and stops very abruptly at x64; ease more into that stop


- he takes a step at x89, and the whole body moves at that frame. I would have him lean screen right 5 frames before, so that he starts the weight shift and THEN takes the step, for proper balance:


- from x113 to 119 the kicking leg is moving a lot, but not influencing the hip/root/chest at all or barely; it feels like you're scrunching the leg back but not adjusting the balance, as if you want to fit the leg pose in there without changing the body pose. But it should be more like this:


- after his kick he should either take another adjustment step or turn around, etc. just continue his action. Right now it feels like a Street Fighter game where there's a kick and then he goes into an idle cycle. :)

http://www.zweifuss.ca/ryu/ryustance.gif


Now the kid:

- watch out for speed changes during the run/walk. After x15 he accelerates suddenly and that change stands out

- I'd try to keep his face clear of the bunny, so that the characters don't overlap so much spatially



it looks like he's really examining his arm! :)
He should look down at the basket when he steals stuff and then up again at his butt because he wants to kick it
- that sideways hop feels a bit weird after x34: first, his right leg just goes in from x34 to 38, with no changes in the foot poses, it just slides up visually. Same with the other foot (and that one lands a bit softly, as if you're easing into that step). Then the body just goes up at x38 and until x42 there is no breakup between the body parts, he just moves as one unit. You need to involve the chest, head, shoulders, arms, etc. more into those movements, otherwise it feels too blocky and too pose to pose.
- watch out for poses like on x59, where things point towards the camera; in this case his knees. That type of perspective muddles the silhouette too much. If you do the squint test, it looks like the kid has really short legs



- during the side step around x67, I don't feel like the hips are involved during the weight shift up until x76
- the fall after x125 feels a bit off too; his left leg suddenly extends from x125 to 126; then both legs fall down vertically with no screen left movement, so that forward inertia is suddenly missing; the arms flap down and then don't bounce and the body also doesn't bounce, so it all feels like it falls and then just cleanly sticks to the ground; that ending needs to be a bit messier for the kid with a bit more complex body mechanics

Hope all of this makes sense!
JD

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