Thursday, July 12, 2012

Elena Dae - Jump and Cats - Critique

Alrighty,

let's look at the ballet clip first:

video


- you are pretty much done, there are only two things I'd tweak, and that's only because I'm picky. If you want to move on, you can, it looks great!!
1. I would bring the SR hand up earlier, at x72 (just like you have it at x74)



2. The SR hand flips down over two/three frames to x62 but then stops and it feels like that rotation down is very fast and stops very quickly; I would slow that down a bit more and ease into that stop a bit more:



That's it!! You did a really good job polishing this shot!

Now the cat shot:

video


shot1
- the grip around his neck is great, that feels very solid; x32 to 39 could be even tighter, if I'd be super picky (there seems to be a translate in the wrist from right to left and then up), but again, just being super picky
- It's pretty ouch out of frame, but just in case, make sure that her wrist is around his neck at x15
- I'd add a frame or two of cushioning on your pull up; meaning, if you track his right shoulder as he goes up, it goes up until x25 and then immediately down on x26 (you can also look at one of his strips for spacing)


- on x27, her left arm going SR hits a wall, settle that stop a bit smoother with some overshoot; right now it's too abrupt and makes it look stiff

and there's a little drift after that where the wrist and fingers slowly drift up; tighten that a bit more as well


shot2
- a lot better, I would do one more pass on spacing wise in his arms during the walk back; they feel a bit poppy throughout still, and that's because of one frame direction changes, for instances the SR arm on x79 goes up, then down on x80 while the body goes down as well; it's moving all as one piece instead of keeping the arm going up a tiny bit on 80 then a tiny bit down on 81 and then a bigger spacing change down; the same idea as in shot one when he gets pulled up and how he goes down over one frame

- same thing for the stumble and drop, he's really popping from x141 to 142

- watch out for the SL arm on x158; it looks like you're stretching the arms and then on x158 it pops into a bent pose

shot3
- her tail moving to the left at x238 looks like a linear key; it's moving very suddenly and very quickly, I'd slow that down a bit, at least ease out of that pose more

- I would separate the SR hand from the head for silhouette around x243


- from x255 on, when she moves forward, it would be great to drag her arms a tiny bit; it feels like everything is moving together, body and arms from x255 to x265
- there's a visual sticky thing going on with the SR arm from x260 to 265, where the forearm goes up in screen space but stuck on a rail, following the red lines I drew while the rest of the body moves around and on top of that you have the wrist rotating up; the wrist stands out because the forearm is so locked in that move


- this is a note I've made before and if you feel strongly about keeping it that way that's fine, but I think the last pose would be more balanced with the tail on the right side



With her leaning to the left, having the tail mirrored to the right feels a bit better; you had versions where the tail moved around and at first there were too many moves but now you're down to one and I think you can put one more in there so it ends up to the right, what do you think?

That's it! Down to super picky notes but it's looking really cool!

Cheers
JD

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