Sunday, July 29, 2012

Yuri Perrini - Pantomime - Critique

Ok, now, your clip, which is cute! I really like how he moves closes after x100. :)

Is this an exercise, for a reel, for a teacher, etc.? Would be good to know a bit of history to your shot, just in case. It helps me focus on specific areas for the critique.

As of now, here my 2 cents:
- since he has such a huge head, it's important to not move it too quickly, or stop it quickly, otherwise the sense of mass and weight will be gone. At the same time you don't want the head to be floaty.
So at very beginning he tilts his head over to x8 and then stops. It would be good to soften that stop a tiny bit with a moving hold. But it's fine line, you don't want it to be a drift, like from x36 to 50, where it feels like the head is slowly dropping. Same during the head turns until x87, the head is a bit loose after each turn, which makes it look spliney.
Also, watch out for sudden moves and spacing changes. If you flip back and forth between x111 and 112 and track his nose, you see how far up he goes. But flip between 112 and 113 and you'll see no up rotation, it's all sideways. Then from x113 to 114 the head suddenly goes down. Moments like that really take away from the weight of the head, plus your arcs are very flat that way (red) instead of round (green):

The finger wiggling moment after x129 feels a tiny bit too adult (like some evil mastermind), and not what a little kid would do, but that might just be me. Action wise, he moves forward, then the whole body stops and he does his finger wiggle and then goes for the box. It feels very separate and more like you hit that moment, then set random keys for the fingers, and then you continue. It would be great to have that moment more focused. He moves forward, does one little wiggle, then goes into a fist and brings his hands a bit closer to the body for more of an anticipation.

Then, when he puts his hands on the box, it looks more like a move, just motion, maybe constraining hands to the lid? It would be great to get more emotion out of that move. Is he trying to be delicate? Is he shy? Is he determined?

When that thing comes out of the box, I would actually have the head tilted the other way, and the thing come up a bit a straight. Reason being, right now the lid and the purple thing are covering his face, and you don't want to break eye contact with your character. Plus with this surprise, we, as the audience, want to know what the kid's reaction is, but we can't always see it because his face is covered.

Once he gets scared and turns around, the same happens spacing wise with his head. Quick moves, quick stops, etc. that take away from the weight and mass of the head.

The run at the end could have a bigger translation, meaning, he's really leaning forward, yet the amount of distance he covers is small. He looks like he's running really fast, but he doesn't get that far. :)

These are the main elements I would tweak for now. I hope the notes make sense. :)


No comments:

Post a Comment