Meghana Gupte - Plane - Critique

Hey,

alrighty, let's get straight to your questions:

1) Right now it all looks stationary......so to give it a feel that they are in a plane.....would just a camera move be fine or I need to show some movement for both the characters......i tried giving the instructor some of it but I think he looks like he is in a bus/train..?.

1) A combination of multiple things could be cool. Think "The Incredibles" when the mother is on jet plane with her two kids. You could have a couple bumps (like air pockets) but it might add too much complexity. I would parent the guys to the plane and have the plane roll side to side (gently, randomly) and add some tiny up and down. That should be enough.

2) The jump towards the end..........right now i am still working on it but ..is it ok if he comes close towards camera as he is falling down?..or what i thought was maybe he could intially come towards camera and then move screen right due to air resistance?....I wasnt very sure how exactly might be his fall...

2) I wouldn't have him come directly to camera because there is not much perspective in that and makes the move flat. I would have him go towards us but also one body width screen right. And yes, he should only come out until his body is completely off the plane and then he should swoosh out screen right super quickly. Make it cartoony, push the timing, he should off screen in 5 frames or so and you can can totally exaggerate the stretch. Think Road Runner. :)

Other than that, there are some funky things going on, let's go one by one.

First, it's a lot better and I like the implementation of the light and how the teacher goes about it and throws him out.

What I think needs a bit of tweaking is:

Red guy:

- on x78, his screen left shoulder looks like it's dislocated. The grey ball should be where the white patch starts, but now you have the white rings and then the red area where the shoulder is. This gives it a really weird silhouette

- at first I didn't know what the red guy was doing at x102 and on. I'm assuming now he's holding on to the chute like a back pack, where the straps are? At first I thought it was a weird boxing type of thing he was doing, to pump himself up. :)

- the jump around x48 is also a bit off, but maybe that's because of his shoulders. Maybe it's also because he lands and does the arm gesture at the same time. Clearer separation of beats might work better.

- when the instructor holds his arm out is good, but I would tweak it this way: instructor arm goes out - pause - red guy looks screen left at the instructor - audience's eye follows - we look at instructor face - he looks at the kid - then looks up at the light - audience sees the red light - everything makes sense - kid does what you have now which is a big move so that the audience looks back at him. That way all the story beats are clear and you direct the audience around, making sure that nothing is confusing. You can fit all of those beats within the timing you have now and keep the red guy's reaction at x212. If that doesn't make sense, just send me your file and I can mock something up to make it clearer.

- the throw out could happen a few frames earlier. I think the current pause is a bit long, but that should be an easy thing to fix and tweak down the line.

Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique

​Yeah, that 210 body reaction is too fast (good eye).

And I'm not really feeling the end of the dog, sorry. Hmm... And given how much he exits frame at 218, I would move the camera screen right as the guy kneels down, so that the framing is more leaning towards the right overall. So on x218, the guy wouldn't be in the center, but one body width screen left (hope that makes sense).

For the dog, what if after the 360 he gets back to something like x187, but butt on the floor, wagging his tail, mouth open, tongue out, panting, happy face?

Let's go note by note:

shot1

- dog is done! Nice job!

​ - guy head rotation needs more pushing, so that on x26 he's less 3/4 with his face towards us, more more profile, to really break up the head from the body; it still feels a bit too much like one unit

- not sure if that was there before (if yes, sorry for not seeing that earlier), but there's a head/body pop in the middle. Look at his screen left nostril as a reference point starting at x23. It goes up and left until x25, but from x25 to 26 barely left and even less up, from 26 to 27 not left at all but only up and much bigger than from 25 to 26; 27 to 28 goes left again, yet 28 to 29 suddenly to the right; 30 to 31 it's not going up at all anymore but only down after that until x33 and from 33 to 34 it barely goes down anymore. So all that in real time gives it a poppy feel

- that's it!

shot2

-his left arm seems to move down and the wrist rotates up from around x57 on but comes to an abrupt one frame halt on x66, that needs some softening

- watch out for the screen left forearm, it starts to evenly rotate clockwise from x144 on until x169. Either give that more purposeful movement (so it's not so even and robotic) or take it out

- on "hat" the eyebrows still feel too high, I would lessen that by 50% again

- good job on the rest of the notes!

shot3

- I don't see the jaw out on "you"

- from x222 on the head and body are too in synce and moving as one unit, loosen that up by breaking up the head anim

- on x205, watch out for angular shapes like on the dog's front right paw. There should be an ankle adjust controller, so that you can smooth out that line so it doesn't look so broken

- the guy bringing down his arms with the hat looks better, but I would slow it down at the end. It's good how it ramps up, but then go slow again, otherwise it feels like he's slamming the hat onto the dog. :)

- nice job on the ankle ambient movement, that's great polish stuff!!

Getting better and better, good work!

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - camera adjustment

Here's the previous camera, where I thought that some of the cuts weren't clear enough. When framing back and forth between the cut points, it looked like some of the shots were too similar.

So here's my take on the camera, which has small tweaks, but I was trying to make the cuts more clear by giving the shots a different focus.

Saberi Knakon - Never - Critique

Here my thoughts:

- that arm still feels to IK-ish in it's movement; with such big movement, there would be more falloff in the shoulder and chest; both areas would react more to the arm doing all the moving

- the screen left arm gets into a pose and then sticks there throughout the rest of the shot

- her finger pointing feels more like she's trying to stab the person; so that move combined with her locked left arm feels more like a fencing pose and move :)
I would look at

www.guilhermejacinto.com/

and watch the creampuff (work-in-progress) shot. There's always a clear silhouette in the left guy's arm. And with her, in your shot, the elbow is mostly pointing away from the audience, giving her a stump arm if you do the squint test.


Looking at the above image, the forearm just ends with her fist and no elbow or forearm for most of the gesture.

Also, her chest is very rigid and mostly vertical. Same with her head. You can rotate the body back a bit more as she winds up and then do a reversal C curve on the point, so it's really in-your-face and less stiff.

- On "never", the movements could also a be a tiny bit snappier, so there's more connection between her voice and action. Her current gestures feels a bit soft and doesn't match the intensity of the voice.

- Same goes for her face. On "should' it could be more squashed together, with squintier eyes and a bigger expression on "never", so that there's more of an antic and release.

Hope that makes sense!
Cheers
JD

Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique

Hey,

That's working better and the anim is coming along nicely, but the cut between shot 2 and 3 is still weird. You're going to have to find a different angle to show the action in shot 3.
The last shot's camera is also weird, I would not have any movement on it for now. You can still put something in later, but right now, that camera has a weird back and forth. Personally, I would have the camera the way you have it on x155 until x164, then delete all the camera keys except the last one on x194. That way the camera goes down until 164 and follows the action, and after that slows down and goes wider until 194.
Anim wise you're doing doing really great. The only thing that stood out are the raptor's arms, which don't seem to have any anim on them yet.

Picky stuff:

shot1:
- Tiny's hands could be a bit more locked to the jaw and the fingers need to have a more tense pose, they don't look like he's struggling and really pulling on that jaw/head.
- Tiny's screen left ankle/foot looks too locked, it needs a bit more reactionary movement as the body shifts around
- Tiny's mouth could close around x19 because of the muscle tension, then open the mouth after x25 so that there's a roar/yell during the head slam.
- the brown creature's screen left leg moves to the left in a very IK way and then just stops and sticks.
- the creature's back left leg goes up to x17 and then stops too quickly.
- the tail needs to be a bit more complex and wavy. Right now it's just going up and down as one big block.
- after the head slam the limbs on the creature just stop moving; that head slam should ripple back through the body so that the legs still wiggle and move after the head slam

shot3:
- Tiny's left arm feels too dead, it's just hanging there
- is the raptor head sliding from x72 to 76 or is that a re-grab/re-bite?
- raptor head pops from x90 to 91 into a new direction; stops too quickly on x94, pops screen left on x96; stops too quickly on x97
- Tiny's right arm moves too fast on x107 to 109, feels like a pop, then it just stop on x110

shot4:
- raptor right foot step on x135 and on feels too much like a slide
- raptor head goes down and stops too quickly on x135
- when the raptor gets lifted up, the tail could hang more loose, say on x153 it wouldn't be curled up to the right but hanging more down (it's also going through the ground at the beginning)
- Tiny's feet are too lose, they rotate around too much during that shot; I would buy it if the screen left foot is not rotating ever, since it's the one with a lot of weight on it; the screen right one would have to take more of a step at the end of the shot as opposed to the rotation and slide that you have right now

shot5:
- his punch needs one or two more frames of inbetweens, it's too fast
- Tiny's right foot plant should happen right after the punch and not at the same time, otherwise it feels too in sync and twinned

YEAH!!

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique

Let's go shot by shot:

Shot1

-the dog is 99% done. Last thing I would do during his scratching, is to have the screen right brow a bit lower, and the eye a bit squinty

- for the guy, some picky stuff: his left hand/arm goes screen left until x37 and then it moves to the right over one frame; keep it going to the left

- I would rotate his head a bit from x24 on so that it gets to x38 a bit earlier. Right now the head and chest move together too much and it would be great to loosen it up a bit more. So if you move the head a bit earlier it will break up the movement a bit more.

- the screen left elbow is a bit hiccup-y. Look at how the elbow tip goes from left to right until x24, then it kinda stays put for a frame, then to x26 it goes to the right again, then it stops again at x29 until 31, then it goes to the right again, then stops again. So track that tip for smooth spacing

Shot2

- his left arm goes up until x49, then back down on 50. Those one frame direction changes are too harsh, smooth that part out.

- x39 to 40 his hat arm goes down quite a bit, then 40 t0 41 is small, 41 to 42 is small, etc. etc. So that first frame is a bit too big and feels like a pop. You can have the arm at x40 a bit higher, at x41 a tiny bit higher, so that the transition is a bit smoother.

- on "saw", around x86, I would accent that word with bringing up the eyebrows a bit

- around "hat' I would bring the eyebrows lower by half so that it's a bit more quiet before they go up again at the end of this shot

Shot3

- on "you", you could bring out the jaw and mouth shape for "oo" more for a bigger silhouette change

- when the dog jumps off to his right, I would keep the paws on the ground a tiny bit longer, so that you show how he pushes himself to the right a bit more

- the ending look and wiggle with the butt feels a bit off. The pose and silhouette feels muddled. You could have it more profile so that there is a clearer view on the body and legs.

- the guy's movement of how he puts the arms down with the hat feels a bit even in timing, a bit too robotic

- watch out how the body stops going screen right at x236

- when the dog jumps the guy doesn't really react to it. Around x209 it would be good to have at least the head follow the dog's path

- detail thing: his right foot, the part sticking out right above the frame is totally locked once he kneels down. Would be good to get some ambient movement on it

Hope that helps!
JD

Elvi Husen - Jump - Critique

Hey,

that's really cute! And it's looking good! So my notes are going to be a bit more picky. :)

- when he bends down at x1044, he goes right up at x1045. I would have 1045 a tiny bit lower than 1044, then 1045 a tiny bit higher than 1045 and then have him jump. That way you don't have a linear direction change and a bit more anticipation.
- looking at his right arm from x1049 to let's say 1057, it's moving with the head, as it's one unit. I would have a bit more delay and overlap in that arm, so it's not so in sync.
- both feet pop a bit from x1052 to 1053 (the spacing before that is much smaller)
- the right foot's arc could be smoother from x1053 to 1057
- the head goes down starting at x1058 and technically I would have it go forward after his feet touch down, so that the impact makes the head go forward. If it's part of a special move, you could have it start at 1060, but I wouldn't do it earlier.
- the head comes to an abrupt stop at x1063 (look how the head goes a tiny bit up at 1064), I would ease more into that
- the head and arm move at the same time from x1078 to 1079, I would offset them more
- same thing happens at x1083, the head stops to abruptly and the hand stops at the same time; I like the moving hold, but just ease more into that stop
- the axis of the head going down and then later up feels the same. When the head goes up, it could go a bit more sideways as well, sneak in a little head turn, so it feels more like the poses go from A to B and then to C, and not from A to B and back to A.
- the head stops at x1128, as well as the staff, so the same here, I would offset the different body parts and props and ease into it a bit more.
- same thing after x1148 when the body, head and staff moves, offset it a bit more
- the yawn hand movement in the 1220 area is also a bit too repetitive. The hand rotation feels like it's going from A to B and back to A.
- the head does a linear direction change from x1247 to 1248 and both arms are locked with the head as one unit during that until x1249; same here, offset things a bit so that it doesn't look so blocky.
- on the nose swipe, you could have the head move in Y a little bit with the finger, so that the hand is affecting the head a little bit and it will take the frozen feel out of the head as well

Picky picky! But looking good!!!
JD