Thursday, October 6, 2011

Edward Seager - Dog - Critique

Let's go shot by shot:


-the dog is 99% done. Last thing I would do during his scratching, is to have the screen right brow a bit lower, and the eye a bit squinty

- for the guy, some picky stuff: his left hand/arm goes screen left until x37 and then it moves to the right over one frame; keep it going to the left

- I would rotate his head a bit from x24 on so that it gets to x38 a bit earlier. Right now the head and chest move together too much and it would be great to loosen it up a bit more. So if you move the head a bit earlier it will break up the movement a bit more.

- the screen left elbow is a bit hiccup-y. Look at how the elbow tip goes from left to right until x24, then it kinda stays put for a frame, then to x26 it goes to the right again, then it stops again at x29 until 31, then it goes to the right again, then stops again. So track that tip for smooth spacing


- his left arm goes up until x49, then back down on 50. Those one frame direction changes are too harsh, smooth that part out.

- x39 to 40 his hat arm goes down quite a bit, then 40 t0 41 is small, 41 to 42 is small, etc. etc. So that first frame is a bit too big and feels like a pop. You can have the arm at x40 a bit higher, at x41 a tiny bit higher, so that the transition is a bit smoother.

- on "saw", around x86, I would accent that word with bringing up the eyebrows a bit

- around "hat' I would bring the eyebrows lower by half so that it's a bit more quiet before they go up again at the end of this shot


- on "you", you could bring out the jaw and mouth shape for "oo" more for a bigger silhouette change

- when the dog jumps off to his right, I would keep the paws on the ground a tiny bit longer, so that you show how he pushes himself to the right a bit more

- the ending look and wiggle with the butt feels a bit off. The pose and silhouette feels muddled. You could have it more profile so that there is a clearer view on the body and legs.

- the guy's movement of how he puts the arms down with the hat feels a bit even in timing, a bit too robotic

- watch out how the body stops going screen right at x236

- when the dog jumps the guy doesn't really react to it. Around x209 it would be good to have at least the head follow the dog's path

- detail thing: his right foot, the part sticking out right above the frame is totally locked once he kneels down. Would be good to get some ambient movement on it

Hope that helps!

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