Saturday, October 1, 2011

Elvi Husen - Jump - Critique

video

Hey,

that's really cute! And it's looking good! So my notes are going to be a bit more picky. :)

- when he bends down at x1044, he goes right up at x1045. I would have 1045 a tiny bit lower than 1044, then 1045 a tiny bit higher than 1045 and then have him jump. That way you don't have a linear direction change and a bit more anticipation.
- looking at his right arm from x1049 to let's say 1057, it's moving with the head, as it's one unit. I would have a bit more delay and overlap in that arm, so it's not so in sync.
- both feet pop a bit from x1052 to 1053 (the spacing before that is much smaller)
- the right foot's arc could be smoother from x1053 to 1057
- the head goes down starting at x1058 and technically I would have it go forward after his feet touch down, so that the impact makes the head go forward. If it's part of a special move, you could have it start at 1060, but I wouldn't do it earlier.
- the head comes to an abrupt stop at x1063 (look how the head goes a tiny bit up at 1064), I would ease more into that
- the head and arm move at the same time from x1078 to 1079, I would offset them more
- same thing happens at x1083, the head stops to abruptly and the hand stops at the same time; I like the moving hold, but just ease more into that stop
- the axis of the head going down and then later up feels the same. When the head goes up, it could go a bit more sideways as well, sneak in a little head turn, so it feels more like the poses go from A to B and then to C, and not from A to B and back to A.
- the head stops at x1128, as well as the staff, so the same here, I would offset the different body parts and props and ease into it a bit more.
- same thing after x1148 when the body, head and staff moves, offset it a bit more
- the yawn hand movement in the 1220 area is also a bit too repetitive. The hand rotation feels like it's going from A to B and back to A.
- the head does a linear direction change from x1247 to 1248 and both arms are locked with the head as one unit during that until x1249; same here, offset things a bit so that it doesn't look so blocky.
- on the nose swipe, you could have the head move in Y a little bit with the finger, so that the hand is affecting the head a little bit and it will take the frozen feel out of the head as well

Picky picky! But looking good!!!
JD

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