Sunday, June 26, 2011

Ji-Hong Kim - Wife - Critique

video

Let's look at the "wife" clip!

It's overall already very cool, I just have little notes here and there.

1st shot
Right guy with glass:

- the arm that holds and lifts the glass feels a bit IK-ish. The first move up is a bit linear and even in terms of timing and the arc. I would slow it down at the beginning and ramp up and give it more of an under arc (like a reverse C); it also stops too quickly in Y around x28, as you move it up, I would soften that stop; same thing at the very end around x46; another IK sign is around x35 to x41. The elbow goes down while the rotation of the wrist is not affected at all. Sure he wants to keep the glass level, but whenever the wrist is locked in its rotation, while the arm and body move around, it's going to feel like an IK arm
- to me the head tilt around x42 is a bit fast, you could soften that beginning a bit as well

Left guy feels fine

2nd shot
The girl:

- the first couple frames have no animation on her and then she kinda pops into the movement. Have some keep alive at the beginning and smooth out that transition. I would also add a little bit more of a moving hold on the arm that holds the glass, and the screen right hand that waves, add some movement to the arm as she waves; right now that wrist feels very separate and isolated in its movement

The guy is fine

3rd shot
Right guy:

- the body, arm and head all move at the same time from x75 to 76; offset those actions a bit; ease out of that a bit more as well; if you look at the spacing of the head as it tilt screen left it feels like a linear key
- track the tip of the nose from x87 to 94; the move is pretty linear, there's not much of an arc to it and it stops a bit quickly too; you can soften that by properly finishing the arc with a little overshoot of ease in
- the glass holding arm will need that IK fix as well of; it will help to reduce elbow movement
- on the elbow check he gives to his friend, you start it at x75 with an anticipation, but watch out how linear the arcs are, it looks like another IK arm. I would also adjust the finger poses. They could relax a bit during the antic and get into more of a fist during the jab and then adjust again once he puts his hand on the counter
- the jab contact seems to be on x79/80, but the reaction of the guy happens only around x84. It's okay for him MENTALLY to react delayed, but PHYSICALLY you will have to show how the elbow moves the body of the guy right when it hits
- I think you could have a little eye brow accent on "Tom" and a bit more of a O mouth shape. Right now the upper lip feels a bit stuck in the same pose; I would also lower the brows a bit more during the shoulder grab; not into something angry, but just a bit more of a pose change, so that they can go up around x250 where he looks at him and starts laughing
- when his friend grabs him on the shoulder, I would close his glass holding fingers a bit more; right now it's more like secondary reaction but by closing them a bit more so it looks like he's making sure that he's holding his glass safely, it will look more like a voluntary action
- this one is purely subjective and maybe you can just try it out quickly to see the difference, but when he says "wife" you could have the hand that holds the glass go up a bit faster, adding a bit more emphasis to "wife"; I like what you have with his eyes, so maybe the glass is too much, but you never know
- when the friend takes his hand off his shoulder after x280 you have to show how that weight/pressure change of letting that shoulder go affects the shoulder and upper body

Left guy:

- I love how he goes for the bottle after he wakes up! :)
- the main thing would be to really solidify and strengthen the contact between his hand and the other guy's shoulder from x224 to x280; the hand is swimming around at the moment
- the other big thing to me is the lip sync and how there is so much detail in the audio and how it's not really showing on the guy; for instance: after x199 you close the mouth but in the audio you can still here the oooh-ohhh; the "haha" feels a bit late; the "maaaaan" and "hahaha" after that feel too simplified as well. That "maaaaan" could also have a bit more facially with a bit more of change throughout, where at the beginning the expression is a bit wider and stronger and fading out towards the end of the "maaaaaan"
- super picky note: the bottle holding wrist sticks in the air from x241 to 242 and then starts a rotation to 243, which looks like it's from a linear key; you could ease out of that more

4th shot:

- my only comments would be the silhouette around the legs and the overall balance. If you squint it looks like they only have three legs combined; I think you could separate them out a bit more, where her pose is a bit stronger than his, since she's in control and he's surprised; on her, it looks like her screen left foot is barely on the ground, but the weight feels a bit too far back where that foot would need a bit more contact with the ground for support. I would move her (and his) root a bit more screen right and curve her more to the right for a stronger C shape, so that she's really leaning into him

5th shot:
Right guy:

- the right guy is pretty good, I would just tweak the screen right arm and move it out a bit more, so that the glass edge and his thumb are not so lined up with his upper arm forming a tangent; it will give you a clearer silhouette by moving the arm to the right a bit

Left guy:

- his beer bottle hand feels a bit slow and IK-ish during the x325 to 343 area. From x325 to 327 the elbow moves but the wrist sticks in space, then the hand goes up but from x330 to around 334 the elbow goes down while the orientation of the wrist stays the same, having that locked IK-wrist feeling again; the overall timing of that up movement of the hand feels slow and even; from x356 to around 361 the move feels to flat, there's not enough of an arc in it
- the rest works and I love his expression during " what she say?" part

Nice work!!
Cheers
JD

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