Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lukas Niklaus - Wife - Critique
The eye darts changes are great, I like where you're going with this, it feels a lot more focused with separate emotional beats.
One thing I would try, is at the end, to take out all the eye darts after x469; or you take them out after that frame and only keep the last one, at the same moment, from x507 to x509. Right now I feel there are still too many darts there, which makes him look too "think-y". :)
The eye dart from x278 to 280 could also get cut. I'm curious what it would look like without. Right now the eyes move screen left while the head moves screen left as well, so that dart is a bit muddled because of that and gets a bit lost. So either cut it or try having it at 284, where the head is a bit more stable?
Your next eye pass is a subtle one. Whenever the eyes go up or down, doesn't matter how subtle the movement is, move the both lids up and down with it, but just a tiny bit. That way you will add some fleshiness to the eye balls. Some moments are a bit too fast so you will barely register, others you have it already, but you could push it a bit more, like from x219 to 220 it's a big eye dart, but the lids are pretty static. So just a little up on both lids will help.
Lipsync is heading in the right direction! There are some moments that felt a bit chatty and that could get simplified and some other areas that I would smooth out or push. Here my thoughts:
- the mouth corners expand and come to an abrupt stop at x10, ease more into that
- try to avoid one frame jaw movements, they end up being too harsh because there are no frames of softening, which give you sudden stops like from x42 to 43
- the "yeah" around x74 could get pushed in terms of size and asymmetry. You could open up the screen right corner a bit more and offset the height of both corners so that the shape doesn't feel so mirrored
- same symmetrical look is at x95 with both white areas of the teeth looking the same on the left and right side of the face.
- the mouth shape pops into a new pose over one frame from x95 to 96
- there could be a little jaw opening around x157 during his "jah" sound
- x202 to 203 the lip shape pops open (watch out for those 1 frame pops)
- the jaw looks like it's having a linear key and curve from x469 to 471
Hope it helps!