Sunday, November 13, 2011
Ya-Shu Chang - Dino fight - Critique
this looks super cool! You're pretty much done! I only have little picky technical things to talk about. You did a really good job with it!
As always, let's go shot by shot.
- watch out for his screen left hand, holding the upper jaw, it slides sideways, x8 to 12, stays locked, then slides from x14 to 15, stays, then slides out to x19, stays, then on the pull/push down x32 to 33 the fingers go through the teeth again, x37 to 38 as well, and from x49 to 51 the jaw moves without the hand/fingers being locked to it. Picky picky, but when you watch it in real time you get a feeling of softness still, so it's important to lock that down to get that feeling of grip and power
- the screen right head is going through the jaw/teeth as well, from x10 to 13
- the head should rotate sideways (not in Y) from x12 to 14; you slowed that whole body/head sideways move down and it's much better, but it still has a little feeling of abruptness when the head stops going screen right, you're 98% there!
- Love the little head shake/tension and jaw pose around x23 during the pull
- the arms go up at the same time from x45 on, offset them and overall bring them in, so it's more like that:
and less like that:
unless it looks exactly like that:
- bring the tongue up on x70, so that it matches the end of shot 2
- awesome how he makes a fist around x105 before he pulls the arm away, great detail!
- watch the arc of the head after it pulls away from the arm, after x113; the path is very linear and could be more fleshed out arc wise, like this:
- same not on the arms as before, just bring them globally in more
- delay the down movement of the arms at x88 and on; right now, if you go from x88 to 90, the body, head and arms all go down together; lead with the head, then body and the arms drag the most
- watch out for the screen right arm from x112 on until around 125; it's moving to the left, then right, then sticks, etc. the spacing is off and it feels to linear
- on the last attack, after x128, bring arms together as per previous note, but drag them more so that on x132 the screen right arm is not so far screen right but more in front of the raptor's chest
- screen left shoulder seems too high, it goes up with the body right at the end of the shot; keep it down, it would drag more
- his right arm, after the swing, still feels to weak, around x158 and changes direction in a linear way from x158 to 159; smooth out that stop and bring out the arm screen right, like the green drawing; in order to give it a cleaner silhouette, just move the dead dino screen right:
- tail is better, but watch out for some spacing issues; tail is curved up on x141 and moving down to x143, but from x143 to 144 is going up, then to 145 it's going down again; it changes direction on x146, so on x147 the tip could be curved to the right more so there's more drag; there's some wiggling and popping after x155 to 158 and from x165 to 180, then on the rise, from x183 to 184 it's not moving screen right enough to finish the momentum of that swing, so keep going screen right and don't change direction like on x185; so overall, do another pass on the tail in that area to smooth out the kinks
- screen right elbow pops from x212 to 213
- screen right arm moves screen right with the punch until x219, but then just stays there and drifts down, with the fingers intersecting the ground around x228; finish that swing momentum and bring the arm back a bit, so it's not so dead after the punch
- watch the spacing of the screen left arm (tracking the pinky line); it moves screen left from x191 on until 196, then just goes up visually and not left anymore, then a little bit to the left on x198 and after that there's much bigger spacing over one frame; smooth out that pause
- on the way up, the punching arm goes up and to the right, changes direction and pretty much goes down the same path; give it more of an arc at the top so that the path of action is not so linear:
- after that arc, the arm suddenly moves a lot from x216 to 217;
- it's slower than what you had before, but still a TINY bit fast; I would bring the arm a bit more screen left at x217, and more screen right on x219; as you can see in the above pic, the spacing of the arm is very close at the end, but you need to give that huge punching momentum some room, the arm needs to overshoot
- right now, the punching wrist stays in the same pose/rotation from x229 to 235, but given the above note that you need to overshoot more, you might not have time to go back that far with the arm within the same frame range
- speaking of momentum, the upper leg on x192 needs to be lower; the body is being slammed down and the legs follow, but the body can't go anyway because there's the ground, so the body momentum gets stopped; the legs right now stop at the same time, but their momentum can and has to continue
- on x219 I would rotate the head to the right more; if you track the spacing of the head, it goes screen right and then suddenly down:
- same goes after the head hits the ground from x193 to 200 and x222 to the end; it feels a bit wiggly; smooth out the spacing; big weight like that head won't move that fast in a linear way, it takes away from the weight
Picky things, but I think some important tweaks for this shot and principles to think about for future shots as well.