Arthurnal - Girl Fight - Critique

Hey,

Your shot though looks absolutely awesome! And since it looks so awesome, I'm going to be super picky. :)

 

First off, the effects you added are very cool and it's something I wanted to do on future shots for myself as well. So you're a great motivator to go in that direction! How did you go about adding the effects? My route would have been to draw individual frames in photoshop and to add them to poly planes as textures one by one.

 

The most successful effects are the sword streaks and the sparks resulting from the spark blows. The robot punch streaks are mostly okay, but there are few I would tone down by a lot. 

- the first punch I would tone down by a third

- 2nd punch tone down by half

- third punch keep the way you have it; that intensity needs to be so big and bigger than the first two because it's forcing her biggest reaction as well (jumping away from him)

- 4th move slamming her down: x162 tone down by half, x163 by a third, add effect on x164 as big as original x163, keep x165, make 166 twice as big and x167 as big as original x166. Her ground impact needs to be more prominent with the effect.

- 5th move, his stomp, would tone down by 60%

- 6th punch on ground I would reduce the streak in the air by 50% but add a bigger on the ground, more horizontal than vertical

 

Animation wise here my thoughts:

 

Robot

- on her sword strike at around x115, I would clench his fist (left hand in frame) to show some reaction to that sword blow

- after the punch on the ground around x222, the robot just stays put and kinda waits for her to cut off his arm; I would add some business to him, an adjustment to make it less static

- when his feet are in the air, I would rotate the fingers in

- and on the plant, you can bring them out again and to the side, to show the pressure of the foot and the squash

 

Woman

- for a cleaner silhouette I would have the blow on x258 end more screen left, so it's not hidden in front of her left leg

- for the ending I would have her keep the sword up until the robot is fully down, in a cleaner and more dynamic pose, more dynamic than my crappy drawing, hahaha

and then have her go into the sword down pose after x310. It's a bit rushed at the moment.

 

Hope this helps!
JD