Friday, October 5, 2012

Ji-Hong Kim - Bee - Critique

video


Hey,

here my thoughts on the three shots:

- on the first one, it's like the previous ones, you have make sure that his stick waving arm follows nice arcs, otherwise it looks too rough and stiff:


- same goes for the other arm. Also, watch out that your keys are not linear. His left arm moves up quite a bit from x977 to 978


- looking at his body, if you focus on his bow tie as well as his shoulders, there's a poppy move up from x1005 to 1006 and then it goes straight to the right to x1007 and stops. I would soften that direction change a bit and add a frame or two of ease in for the body. I understand that you want him to suddenly react, but right now it's on the poppy side. A frame or two will help soften that just enough without making it too soft:


- at x1024, his right arm stops very abruptly, so same here, ease into that stop more (and watch out for your arcs):


- for the 2nd shot, it looks like the bee is on a flat card and just moves up; I'd give it more perspective and have it rotate in. It doesn't have to a spiral like in my drawing, but at least a bit of a turn:


- and I wonder if you want to make the bee freak out a frame or two before the hand closes in so we can barely see it. :)


- after x1072 the animation is dead, I would still move the hands/arms a bit more; the hands could go up as much as a finger width. If that's too much you can always lessen it, but for now I'd push it

- for the last shot it's a combination of the previous notes; watch out that the arms move on an arc and not on such a linear path; the bee just slides down, it could rotate a bit to give it more dimension; make sure you soften the start and stop of his arm movements for more ease in and out, otherwise it looks too blocky; and offset the timing of when the arms move, so one is delayed a bit for less of a pose to pose look:


- and lastly, move out the SR arm so that the thumb doesn't form a tangent with the shoulder and it will help the silhouette as well as minimizing the twinned/mirrored pose of his arms


Hope that helps!
JD

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