Saturday, October 20, 2012

Arthurnal - Music - Critique



Alright, that looks already very promising!

I know it's a detail thing, but I like his hair. :)

Speaking of detail, the eye highlight is a bit funky, since the white highlight is not in the same spot for both eyes:


It gives him a cross eyed look.

- At the very beginning, the eyes dart to the right and then back to the left. I would have only one side in there. I you have eyes darting left and right too fast it looks like a pinball machine. He looks crazy with his eyes darting around. Simplify!

- same thing from x30 to 48. I like the reaction, but again, his eyes dart around left/right/left/right

- on "section", around x99, you have him look down and to his left. This feels strange to me because during this section of the dialogue he's explaining to the invisible guy what happened. So to me he's focused and should be making constant eye contact. I wouldn't have him look away.

- on "music" you bring his hands up:


I'm not too sure if that pose is working. What's the story point? What is that hand pose supposed to tell the audience? Is it enhancing the dialogue? And as he goes back, he keeps both hands up for a while. So you're starting to repeat the poses and he looks more like he has handcuffs on. This part is the one that works the least for me (only the hand part).

- the ending works because it's much more subtle and I like how the small movements reflect how helpless he is and that something perfect doesn't need grand gestures. Not sure if I'm making sense, but I like it. :)

Great first pass though!

JD

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