I like what you have in your clip right now. They way she behaves and does little detail things is great. Especially how she stops the swinging bat.
What I would do to push things and to bring in more contrast is when he swings in, have him TAKE the mic away. A total huge broad swipe and snatch away and then he keeps it in his hands, manhandling it, so he is the total ass and then she looks him and steadies the bat for continuing contrast between him and her. Right now the guy feels a bit timid and it's not that much of a big deal that said boo.
That was my initial reaction, but Aziz offered this explanation:
> About him taking the mike away, I actually tried doing that, but it's too > busy and doesn't help the eye direction at all. Once he does that, all the > attention goes to him and stays on him where I want to show the girls > reaction too. Also, I think that move would make him more of a jerk like > character rather then this care-free character I'm going for. I don't want > him to be annoying in the sense that he's trying to be annoying. He just > doesn't care about the whole thing so much by menas of process, getting > ready for the show. He just does what comes naturally to him where as the > girl is full on prepared. I think if I make him take the mic away, that'll > just come across as an ass like you said but like on purpose, as if he's > trying to be an ass. I don't know, could i explain myself? > > You know, I just want people to think he's annoying through the way he > laughs and reacts, not by actually trying to make him be annoying. Oh man, > I suck at explaining things on writing. > > You think the contrast in the shot is still not enough?
So I thought:
Ah I see, yeah, he would be a deliberate ass. But if you want him to be more casual, then it's okay and doesn't need more contrast. And you're explaining yourself just fine.
But what do you guys think? You could push it further, but that changes the tone.
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