Sunday, May 16, 2010

Richie Prado - My family - Critique


Hey,

brown guy only:

overall looking good, there's just one point where you hold the gesture which feels a bit awkward and little detail things:

The first shot works well, I would just sharpen the jaw movement when he opens it. It's a bit soft throughout, so a sharper opener would make it a bit more "reactionary" (if that makes sense).
The eye look down to x55 is a bit slow, I would make it a frame or two faster. You can always add a half blink during that section. You're also starting an eye move at x63 right to where the shot cuts. I wouldn't add sudden movements like that right before a shot ends or right after a shot starts. The audience needs about 7 frames to register what's going on. Any big move right at the beginning will be confusing and at the end will be jarring. Not that this eye dart is jarring, but it's right where the cut is and it's more distracting than helpful.

2nd shot:
The eyes are drifting a bit at the beginning towards the annoyed look. Eye darts should be fast, 2 frames, sometimes even 1. I would keep the eyes the way you have them on x68 a bit longer, then dart over frames to the eye pose on x76, then wait a frame and then dart from that pose to the pose you have on x86 over one frame. Hold that one a bit so that you can dart Right now you have them go up to around x79 and then they slowly stop and then go down slowly. It's all a bit too swimmy.
Around the x106 area, is he going to pick up the other guy's hand or just brush it away? I like the gesture of how he gets there. And little push off of the other guys' hand could work. I also like how he puts it up to his head around x163. It's like he has a head ache. :)
Afterwards I would bring the hand and arm down. Right now it's in a weird salute mode around x184 and how it follows the head in it's movement from x173 to 189 feels weird.

You then hold that pose pretty much throughout the 3rd shot and that's a bit awkward to me .

Before that though. Track the guy's nose towards the end of shot 2, how it goes down, yet at the beginning of shot 3 it's going up. Make sure that the action works over the cut.

The rest of the last shot works well. I would just do one tweak with his eyes. Right now he looks screen right around the x327 area, but then you bring the eyes back to the left to x331 while the head still goes to the (screen) right and then you bring back the eyes looking screen right. I would get rid of that move to the left and concentrate on what's going on screen right.
The first pose at the end is a bit soft and the fingers are too symmetrical. I know it's not a fist of massive anger, but just visually, bring the index and pinky finger closer to the middle finger, so that there is no gap between them (especially the pinky) .Try to always have a rounded shape for the knuckles and where the fingers fold. Right now (last frame) the hand/fist is very cube like. See image below for what I mean.


Cheers
JD

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