Monday, October 24, 2011

Meghana Gupte - Plane - Critique


this works a lot better, nicely done!

The instructor stopping the kid moment works well, it's all clear and you lead the audience the correct way, nicely done!

The ending jump/throw is a good question, hahaha! Technically, at x307, that C curve should go the other way, but I know what you mean... hmmm... Imagine you're inside the plane, holding a flower in the middle of the stem. You extend your arm through the door into the open. What would happen to the flower? It would get get bent (top and bottom) screen right (assuming that in your shot the plane flies right to left). So maybe approach it that way. He gets thrown out and whatever is outside of the plane gets blown to the right?

In your shot his whole body goes forward at the same time. So if he pushes him, maybe the chest and head go first, with the hips dragging and the feet dragging even more, so that all those separate sections get blown screen right one after the other. You can send me the file and I can block something out to make it clearer.

My biggest concern are two poses though.

One is at x105. The hands together like that with the black gloves, we loose the hands and silhouette wise it's not so clear. Same thing with the pose at x241 with the hands back. on that one, squint. It looks like he has amputated arms. So that whole idea is not going to work from that angle.

The breaking up of the actions of the idea around x48 works better, but something is still bugging me, sorry!! Maybe it's how exaggerated the action is for such a small jump? Like on x48 the legs are fully stretched out, then when he compresses, at x52 his hips are pointing screen left, his right foot as well, but his right knee is pointing towards us, but then the whole left leg and foot is pointing way screen right? Something is just odd about this whole move. Sorry for being so vague, I wish I could pin point it better. Id' be okay with him going frmo x39 straight to x70 and then 77, cutting out that whole jump.

Maybe that's what it is. Contrast wise you would go from him standing at the edge, crouched over, then getting straighter, adjusting his belt, moving back, gesturing and then going for the jump! So there's a gradual build up in his movements and THEN he gets cut off by the instructor. That has a nicer feel than going from him being at the door and suddenly doing a jump!

Open your clip in quicktime and cut out frames 41 to 68 and you get the idea.

Try that and let me know what you think!

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