Friday, September 28, 2012

Arthurnal - girl fight and cockroach - Critique

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I think the first shot looks awesome! I don't have that much to say, it's look really really cool! My only tweaks would be:

x75ish, on that pose, her left arm is behind the sword and it makes for a muddled silhouette. I would bring out the arm and put it higher:


- when she jumps up, it feels like she jumps and then sticks in the air; if possible, continue her upward arc:


- when she gets grabbed, even though it's a fast move, I would drag her upper body and especially her head a lot more; so from x142 to 143, on 143, the head would be tilted way towards the pose she had on x142:


- when she's on the ground and about to get stepped on, she feels a bit stiff when looking up (I know you would after such a slam but still, hahaha); I would tilt her head up more, and I would also spread her left hand's fingers, so she doesn't push herself up with her fist:


- after the roll back, she's in a three point landing pose, which is by now very cliched; you could argue that by having her left arm in front of the left leg it's not looking like a three point pose, sure, but if you had to go for that pose, I would at least bring the arm in:


Again, it's not my favorite pose, but at least she's not jumping and landing, it's more a roll and getting into that pose. But what I would try, if you have time, is to bring her right arm down on the ground, to make it messier. I don't think she has to have a "cool" pose at this point. She was almost stepped on, she has to regain the upper hand, so by having at that point a messier pose and not so heroic, you make the audience think "Oh, she's not that cool looking anymore, is she actually going to get defeated?". But then she powers forward and slices the guy and all is well again. So that little misdirection could be cool. What do you think?

All in all though, it's looking very cool!

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For the cockroach shot, I thought that the look was great (did you model all of the set?). As you mentioned, fix the two things listed but I have some other points, seeing this render:

- everything is fairly grayed out, but the skateboard is much darker and therefore stands out; on top of that the edge is right where his leg is, forming an odd visual tangent. I would grey out the skateboard a bit more and move it a tiny bit to the left:


- with the new set, the cockroach is hidden by the bag while it enters the scene. I almost missed it and was looking at the guy until he reacts. I would have it enter higher in frame, so that we can clearly see that it's coming in:


- not sure if it's because of the render, but after he rolls on the chair, looking at the cockroach, he shakes a bit; seeing it now, I would amp up that shake, and make it a bit faster, it barely registers.

That's it otherwise! Really nice job!

Cheers
JD

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