Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Ji-Hong Kim - Bee - Critique

video


Hey,

pretty much done, nice work!! I only have three things:

- at the very end, he exhales once, then breathes in until x2097, but after that he's still, with a tiny drift going up. Is he holding his breath? I don't mind continuous breathing, it just should not look like a cycle. So when you have this:


Inhale being pose A, exhale being pose B, you don't want to go up and down and up and down and just alternate between A and B. It should go from A to B, back up to C (a slightly different pose), then down to D (different again), and so on, for variety and contrast and to get rid of that cycle feeling.

Speaing of pose, I would have his left arm elbow lower, so a cleaner silhouette:


More like something you have on x2160. I think you had the elbow problem in the last version already and I should have caught that, sorry!

I also should have caught the third thing: the bee

- right now the bee goes up and kinda stops around x2028, as if it's waiting for the guy to grab it; it looks like the bee is getting caught on purpose. I would have her still go up fairly fast when he grabs her.


You could ask the question why is the bee not continuing to flee SR? Why is it stopping and going up? I think you could make it work if the bee coming in would feel a lot more tired and it's just not fast enough anymore. What do you think?

Actually one more thing but it's more of a shape thing:


It looks like he swallowed a thousand bees! :)
Not sure if that's fixable, it just makes for a funky silhouette. I wouldn't really expect a fat throat on a skinny guy. :)

Almost there though!!

Cheers
JD

No comments:

Post a Comment