Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Critique - Richie Prado
Quick note, on the camera move, you could wait a tiny bit more before you pan to the left, but then move faster, in order to keep the energy up a bit? Also, you could either tilt up a bit towards the end or zoom out overall, so that the number 6 is clearly visible, since it's a main story point.
You mentioned that you feel the timing is blending into blandness and I agree, although it's not as bad as you might think.
Before addressing technical notes, I would concentrate on your next pass purely on timing. You can divide the clip into different sections.
First, the moment with him at the door and then backing away from it. What is he feeling when he takes those steps back? It's a bit unclear. It feels mostly loose, kinda indifferent. You could keep his back more straight up and not so hunched over. He could be frustrated since he can't get through the door. A more tense and firm walk back would reflect that (his arms would swing around less). He then looks at the piece of paper and then smashes it with his hands, resulting in the end of this frustrations.
Then, the turnaround. That's when you can have his shoulders down and his body attitude all hunched over and disappointed. Don't have him look up immediately on x162, keep it straight forward, finish his steps, then give it a beat, so that he can look at that other door. Then move his body back and his head up like on x181 in a slow move as in "What is this?". Give that end pose a beat, so that he can register in his mind what's going on. He is thinking about the numbers right, so give him time to think about it. Then quickly move his head down to look at his paper the way you have it now, but a bit faster. It's a "Wait a minute!" urgent move. He then understands what's going on and is happy. So the head up move that you have to x205 is too slow. He understands what's going on and goes right for the jump. The pose on the jump could be happier. For instance, his left arm is just kinda following the body, more as in overlap. But the whole body pose should show "Happiness".
Then during the first few steps before he runs through the door, you could accelerate more. The first few steps should be faster. He's really excited. Right now the steps are a bit timid. It's like tires spinning when you hit the gas, after a while it will gain traction and the car will zip off. So it's kinda what you will have with this guy. First the legs just run run run without him really moving, then he zips off.
With these kinds of tempo changes and giving your character enough time to think, you will change up the overall timing and pace of the clip and hopefully get away from the blandness you mentioned.