Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Feedback - Aziz Kocanaogullari
You're right about directing the audience's eye, mainly to me it's during the "Happy Halloween" part. Since he's talking, I'm looking at him, so I'm missing her annoyed reaction.
Overall I like his entrance, but otherwise, dare I say, it's a bit simple? Maybe push the characters more in their contrast. If she's annoyed at his goofy state, then push that. What if their table has a more clear division, where she's the neat freak and he's the slob. So that at the beginning when we are just on her side, she's preparing everything very neatly, papers ready, etc. then she GRABS the mic so it's clear that she wants to say something, then he comes in and interrupts her (I kinda missed the fact that she wants to say something into the mic, I was focused on him, because she wasn't that interesting).
That's my first reaction to the piece. What do you guys think?