My first impression when I watched the clip was that you could barely read that the girl started to pull the leg of the bear. It was mainly because Leau is getting up. So movement wise, there's more with the monster, so the audience's eye will go over to him and we will miss whatever the girl is doing. I would space it out a bit more where the girl is lowering her head while the monster kid is not moving at all. So the audience will look at her because that big shape is moving. Then slow down the head and do a hand gesture towards the bear (a grab or pull), so that the eye goes there. Then you have the monster react to that so that the eye continues to move screen right towards him. Something like that. But I think this way the audience will get a good look at everything and understand each beat.
The rest flows better, it's just all very fast and poppy, like her move back from x432 to 436. You will have to break down that move into head, chest and root action, it's not going to be moving all together, plus you'll have to slow it down. If you'd act out her movements right now, mimicking the exact timing of your playblast, you'd feel how fast it is. But when she's done with that move, I'd freeze her a bit longer in shock, so that she doesn't move when the monster grabs his bear and so that this moments reads clearly (don't rush it all). Then when he's done, she's jumping forward.
The main thing is definitely the timing, it's all feeling rushed and poppy (like when he grabs the bear, look at the bear and watch how abruptly he changes direction; he feels like he's made out of wood too). I like the reference you sent me, so study your timing and how that would translate to the creature. And a good test is always to act out your playblast. You will immediately feel what's unnatural.
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