Sunday, July 3, 2011

Nitis Wiroonpetch - Monkey - Critique

video

Hey,

that looks great! Love the new close up slow-mo shot!

Here my thoughts for each shot:

shot1:
- I would globally move the guy screen right, so that both characters are clearly separated and not visually overlapping
- when the guy is more screen right, you can then globally rotate him so that on x70 you can have a cleaner silhouette for when his foot is in the air. If you pinch your eyes, you don't really know what's going on with the foot/leg/right arm/left upper arm/chest, it's all mushed together.
- on x73 I would bring down the monkey's tail, it would drag with such a quick high jump, and offset his legs a bit; right now they look like parallel overstretched IK legs
- I would also do a bigger squash on x71 and delete the whole x74 frame; you have a big jump from x72 to 73, but then slow frame until x76, which feels weird because he's suddenly fast and then suddenly slow
- the guy: he's so fast from x36 to 38, that on x39 he needs to be more screen left for more overlap with the head; right now he just goes left super fast then stops while being more screen right again; watching that in real time makes it look like he bumped his head into a wall
- the guy's arms feel IK from x36 to 40, especially x38 to 39, where they stick in the spot
- I would separate his arms around x48 so that they are not overlapping visually, it looks like he has only one arm
- his left arm floats up from x55 to 69 in a very straight way, looking like IK, there's no arc in there and the timing is even

shot2:
- what stands out in this one is how stiff his hips are; looking at x71, the silhouette has a lot of very harsh lines; the screen right shoulder should be higher, the hip area has the screen right leg just sticking out, which gets even weirder on x91
- the screen right leg does something weird from x98 to 99
- silhouette on x105 is weird with his screen left leg, the knee points towards us, so it looks like he has a very small leg; same on x109 with his screen right leg

shot3:
- awesome
- the only thing would be the guy's mouth feels very rectangular, but if that's the style, no problem

shot4:
- x116 to 117 the whole upper body plus arms move together, you'd have to offset the arms, drag them so it's not so stiff
- lots of silhouette problems here, like on x120, his feet, that section could be clearer and he looks off balance on that frame as well; x126 the monkey and human arms look like they are touching, same on x127; you could move the guy's screen left arm up and to the right a bit more so that there is no overlap between the leg and the hand on x129 to 131; more overlapping on x136 with the monkey feet and guy arm; worst on from x141 to 144 which doesn't read well, is that a punch? The guy's movements are too linear and unclear from x139 to 145 (no clear arcs, poppy spacing)
- the guy's spinning after x150 looks like he's just spinning without a body part supporting that move. You could have his arms start with the swing that will help with the body momentum
- another weird silhouette on x157, with the screen right leg looking detached and the screen left ankle broken, the screen right shoulder detached and down, which continues on to x164, where the screen right leg look super short (watch out where you point the knees)

Whew! Lots of details stuff, but keep going, it's going to be super awesome!!
JD

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