Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hyunah Ko - Laundry - Critique

My impression of this version, in broad strokes first:

- the timing of the phone dropping is way too slow, it's almost slow-motion

- the timing of the phone-grabbing-bouncing part is too fast and too even in terms of rhythm; the up and down happens too fast and on a even rhythmic timing (if that makes more sense)

- the phone falls into the washer and then suddenly the woman has her hand/arm in it; the moment of ​her realizing that it went in there and then her putting her arm in there needs to be a separate beat (not much longer, but just a moment that registers more)

- you can end it like that, but I would give it another beat; it feels like it's cutting on the action of her having her arm in there and you could add another beat to give her a moment for a reaction

Anim wise:

- the root feels stuck from x3, if you watch the head, to x4, then the head is stuck in place from x6 7 to again; the root feels linear from x10 to 11, how it goes up and down; head is stuck in space from x24 to 25 again

- her left foot is sliding from x4 to, then 10 to 14; her right foot on the next plant is sliding around as well

- watch out for the root after x25, it feels like she's speeding up a lot going screen left

- her right foot speeds up from x27 to 29, then slows down abruptly and then moves slowly until x43.

- watch out for her right leg overextending from x43 to 45

- make sure her weight shifting is working when she stops. Right now for instance her last step in on x49 but after that plant the hips and root don't react to it, there's no adjustment

- watch out for her left hand during the basket carrying part, it's sliding around; it needs stronger contact

- her shoulders could get more involved during the x29+ section, where she lifts up the basket, even if her left shoulder is squeezing the phone

- same goes for when she puts the basket on the washer, the shoulders could react a bit and the head just follows the shoulder so that the phone stays squeezed between the two

- during the pull up of the basket and drop you could adjust the fingers, so that you can read pose changes reflecting how she has to hold on to it harder during the pull up and then release the tension in the fingers after she drops the basket onto the washer

- the basket seems to accelerate on its own from x43 to 44

- the basket rotation from x55 to 62 doesn't feel like it's being initiated by her left hand pushing; it's more like the basket is moving on its own and pulling the hand along

- her hand grabbing the phone feels a bit like a magnet getting drawn towards the phone, I'd would show how the hand gets to the phone, then adjusts so that the fingers can wrap around it; make it look and feel like the hand and fingers are holding on to an object (watch out for finger intersections, like on x89); the elbow needs to get adjusted through that motion as well, right now it goes up and abruptly stops at x90

- watch the arc of the hand as it lets go of the phone and drops onto the basket ending around x108; the whole move and stop feels very linear in terms of start and stop and direction changes

- both arms go up at the same time at x135+, offset them by keeping her left hand on the basket longer for instance

- the left hand reaching the top shelf also just stops once it gets there, you don't feel how the hand interacts with the shelf

- as mentioned before, the drop of the phone doesn't feel right timing wise; it's too slow and it could pivot off her shoulder more from x156 to 159; the rotation of the phone as it falls stops and then goes the other way, keep the momentum going in the same direction

- her right hand reaching down for the phone is very linear arc wise, which feels a bit too IK-ish, and it's intersection the shelf at x166

- the following miss-grabs by her feel fast and linear, and this goes for the phone as well; for instance, watch x169 to 170, how small the spacing is of the phone going down (which btw. looks like it's maybe touching the hand, then sliding off of it towards us?), then from x170 to 171 it just jumps up; same goes from x176 to 177; it doesn't feel like the hand is driving the phone motion, it's more like the phone is independently bouncing off of it

- the phone rotation counterclockwise should continue after the bounce on x182; right now it goes up without any rotation; the hang time of the phone on x186 could be pushed a bit more and the direction change from up to down shouldn't be linear

- it looks like the phone is going through her hand from x188 to 189

- when she leans on the washer (watch out for the hand intersection with the washer), you could push the shoulder up a bit more, so you can feel how she's putting the weight on that arm from x196 to around 202

Alright!! Hope that helps! :)

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